Dorothy: [00:00:00] How would it feel to be a single woman, very successful, finally adopting a child and learning you have breast cancer? Here she had spent all of her life doing all the right things, but Michelle Meisner knew that with this young daughter she had to live. Michelle’s story is one of a constant battle through treatment and finding out she had a second diagnosis of breast cancer and still she found a way to get through it. She’s always been an inspiration to me. She was on our board. She was a part of our transition in in human resources, which is her background and her expertise, but she’s also just a very kind and caring woman. And just on a personal note, she was the first board member to show up at my house when it was flooded by Harvey. This is the kind of woman you’re about to listen to, Michelle Meisner.[00:01:00]
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Let’s Talk About Your Breast, a different kind of podcast presented to you by The Rose. A breast center of excellence and a Texas treasure. You’re gonna hear frank discussions about tough topics, and you’re gonna learn why knowing about your breast could save your life.
Michelle, it’s so great. I mean, seriously, great to have you here, and it’s been such a long time since you’ve been to the building, even though it seemed like for 12 years there, you lived here almost. Michelle, uh, was on our board, but I tell you, the way that you came to us was probably one of my favorite stories. So share that with us. How in the world did, [00:02:00] why did you find The Rose? How did you find The Rose and what happened?
Michelle: So I had gone through my first experience with breast cancer. Um, I was 42 when I was diagnosed. Um, so I was 43. It was a year later, and I woke up, um, one morning and I just felt better. I mean, all of a sudden I, I didn’t hurt as much. You know, scars had had faded and I had an energy that I hadn’t had. Chemo just takes it out of you. And I couldn’t sleep that night. I just kind of had this new energy and I was just excited about things and I thought, I’ve gotta give back. I mean, I had so many people all along that journey with me that I thought I need to give back. And so I went online and I found The Rose. And I don’t even think I waited until eight o’clock the next morning to call you, and I think they put me through right away. And I was like, and you said, well, why don’t you come see me? And I was [00:03:00] here either that afternoon or the next day.
Dorothy: I know you were, I was going, she’s not gonna show up. I mean, I, I get these calls, you know, everybody’s always excited to help, but Nah, they don’t really come, come through. But boy, you were, you were there.
Michelle: I was there. I just, I was ready to, um, it was a life changing moment. I, I, um, I used to say that I was grateful to have cancer. Because how it changed my life and I realized she can’t be grateful for such a dreadful disease that’s killed so many people that that’s just the wrong word. Um. What I’m grateful for is that I survived and I’m grateful that I got to make some decisions that changed my life, um, because cancer made me aware of how short it was. And, um, at the time I was diagnosed, I had two other good friends that worked for the same company. I did Continental Airlines, and neither one of them are here with us today.
It just gave me [00:04:00] this energy to do something more with my life. So, um, cancer is a dreadful, horrible disease and I’m, I’m thankful that I survived two bouts of it, but, um, not grateful for cancer, but I’m, I’m grateful for the insights that I achieved.
Dorothy: So the first time you were diagnosed, did you find your cancer or was it.
Michelle: Uh, no. I, I didn’t really find it. I got knocked over the back of my head with it. I was running around, I was working for Continental Airlines. In my early, early forties and life was so good. I mean, continental, for those who don’t know, you travel for free, you travel you, it’s the kind of place and, and still wanted the, the places that I adore the most, you pack a bag on Friday ’cause you know somebody’s gonna be in the building who’s gonna wanna go somewhere.
And so you just kind of, oh, I’d love to go to Venice this weekend. Okay, let’s go. And so I was living that lifestyle and it was international and global and beautiful. And all of a sudden in around October, I started feeling a pain in my breast. And I was [00:05:00] like, ouch. And I told, um, a woman I was working with, I said, she goes, you need to go get that checked. I said, breast cancer doesn’t hurt. I said, it’s just something irritating and I’ll be over it. And it kept going and kept going. And so finally a good friend of mine whose husband, um, is a radiologist said. She needs to go. And so that’s, that’s how I found it. And it was found pretty quickly.
Dorothy: Hmm. And so you had a year of treatment?
Michelle: I had a year of treatment. It took me about a year to get over it. I think I had six months of chemo and that was right when they came out with the H and the HER2 new. Uh, part of that. And so it actually turned into be 18 months, ’cause of the six month mark. Um, that drug was developed and it was a, it was, I think a monthly shot and I was in that then for another year, but that was the easiest part of it, that that drug didn’t bother me at all.
Dorothy: When you came to The Rose, I remember you saying I’ll do anything. So what did you wind up doing with it? [00:06:00]
Michelle: Well, gosh, I mean, I was on the board before I knew it and I, I remember, I don’t know if anybody was more shocked than I was, that I was on the board, but I came in and I’m an HR professional and so, um, I helped out with some of your HR stuff. I think I did some training for you to begin with. Before I was really on the board, I think I came in and did some leadership and employee training.
Dorothy: I, I’ll never forget the policies thing.
Michelle: Oh, my least favorite part of hr, all the rules. Uh, but you have to have them. I mean, they’re important from a compliance standpoint. But yeah, I, I was just, I didn’t know if you were gonna have me licking envelopes or running errands, or I just knew that I wanted to be involved. I’d done research in the middle of the night on The Rose. I knew what you were doing. I knew your story. I knew about Rose and um Dixie and how you started, and it just spoke to me. It was just. It, it was just time in my life. ’cause people were so good to me when I was sick. Um, not everybody has that kind of support system. And it made me realize, you know, if I can go be of [00:07:00] service to even one person, I wanna do it.
Dorothy: And Michelle, we’d had of course, volunteers come in before, but never someone who didn’t know us in some other way.
Michelle: Yeah.
Dorothy: You know, you were like, from out there.
Michelle: I found you.
Dorothy: And Yes.
Michelle: Yeah.
Dorothy: And, uh, and you brought a whole nother group of people to us. Which was incredibly important at that time.
Michelle: Yeah.
Dorothy: Uh, and I, I don’t know if, do you remember the fundraiser we had about Scare of breast cancer? What was it?
Michelle: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was just thinking about that. The Ghoulishly Pink Bong.
Dorothy: Oh, yes. Ghoulishly Pink.
Michelle: I, yes. I pitched that to you and you’re like.
Dorothy: No, we couldn’t do that. That does not even sound like what we wanna do.
Michelle: Why? Because it was gonna be a Halloween party.
Dorothy: I know. I was gonna Halloween party. We’re not gonna do a Halloween party. Of course that was back when I was very conservative and very straight Lac.
Michelle: Yes, yes, you were. You didn’t let breast be called anything else, but no breast.
Dorothy: Yes. Um.
Michelle: Yeah, so I, oh yeah.
Dorothy: Were you one of those boob girls that was trying to get?
Michelle: No, no, no, no, no, no.
Dorothy: Okay. I just wanna make [00:08:00] sure.
Michelle: Yeah. I called them the girls.
Dorothy: Oh.
Michelle: That’s my girls. The girls.
Dorothy: The girls. And I go, what girls? What are you talking about? My, my girls?
Michelle: Yeah. Um. No. So I don’t even know where the name came to me, but, um, I had, um, a really, um, he turned out to be as close to me as my sister’s, uh, friend by the name of Jessica Rossman. And, um, she had access to a bar downtown that was kind of haunted in its own way. And, um, someone else donated those business first class tickets that Um, on Continental. Um, and it just dawned on me, and I love Halloween, so I thought, how do I pull all these things together? And I did. And it was so much fun.
Dorothy: Oh, what did we raise? Was it, uh.
Michelle: I think it was…
Dorothy: 15,000. 20,000?
Michelle: I think it was a little bit more than that.
Dorothy: Yeah.
Michelle: I mean, the tickets alone raised at least that.
Dorothy: That’s right. Because we were so pleased the tickets were the half of it.
Michelle: Yes. Yeah. The tickets alone raised at least half of that. Um, so I think it may have been closer to 40 to $50,000. I mean, it was my first, I had never done a fundraiser before, so it was my.
Dorothy: Yeah, [00:09:00] that’s what I remember. I was going, oh, she thinks she’s really gonna raise some money here. Yeah. And you did.
Michelle: I did. I did. Yeah, I’m not used to feeling a lot of things and I wasn’t gonna fall on that. Oh, it was fun. We all dressed up. Remember? I mean, everybody came in costume. It was right on Main Street and it was just a, a, my parents were there, they got into it. It was just my sisters were there. It was just it. Wonderful. It was, um, wonderful fun time. Um, and. Um, Jessica who’d already been doing a lot of fundraising kind of worked, worked with me through that and got some free Booze.
Dorothy: Knew what she was doing. Yes. Yeah.
Michelle: She knew what she was doing.
Dorothy: Yes.
Michelle: Well, she had done a party called Rock and Roll, or the Rock Party for Planned Parenthood, and she had just done come dressed as Rockstar, come dress as rockstar. So we just kind of fitted in right after that.
Dorothy: Yeah.
Michelle: And did the same thing.
Dorothy: So. What else happened to you during that time?
Michelle: Oh gosh. It was such a, a lot of things [00:10:00] happened. So, um, I was diagnosed in 2005, went through treatment, uh, 2004, went through treatment in 2005, and then. And the most incredible boss I ever had, Gordon Bethune decided to retire that year. And so I was going through, through that and when he decided retire, he’s such an amazing mentor and still a very, very good friend of mine.
Um, I was starting to get head header calls at that point. You know, when the CEO leaves, they start calling people, and I got called by Henry and I went and talked to him and I said, I’m getting these calls and they’re for pretty nice jobs. And he said. When I leave you, you leave. ’cause he gave you your notice.
He goes, I don’t even, I don’t even wanna talk about it when I walk out the door, you walk out the door. And I’m like, uh, okay. And so I took a year and found, found a job and it wasn’t the right fit for me. I mean, it’s hard to go from this wonderful environment into something that you don’t know.
Dorothy: Right.
Michelle: And wasn’t a real fit for me. That’s also the year that I decided I was gonna doubt my daughter. Um. It, [00:11:00] cancer gave me that clarity. I mean, I was 42 years old and I wasn’t drifting through life. Um, but I hadn’t thought about what comes next. I was too busy traveling and having fun and you know that.
Dorothy: Right.
Michelle: And, um, while I was going through cancer, I decided that I, and in fact, I actually went and saw a very well known fertility doctor and I said, you know, can I still have, you know, I’m 42 years old. So we talked about what that would look like. Um, and in the end I decided to adopt, um, Micah. So that’s probably the most significant thing that happened.
Dorothy: Yeah. I remember that.
Michelle: In my thought process. Yeah. What a, what an amazing life altering decision she was. She’s now 20, which she turns 21 in April, and she’s still the most lovely young lady in the world. Um, we are. I mean, I have to remind her sometimes I’m so your mom, I mean, ’cause she treats me like her best friend and I love that. But there’s still times, even at 20 [00:12:00] when she, sorry, Micah, when she wrecks her car for the second time, you know there’s still times you have to step up and go as your mother.
Dorothy: Yes.
Michelle: And she’s so, so, um, I think it’s.
Dorothy: But she was always smart.
Michelle: Oh, smart as a.
Dorothy: Oh my gosh. Worldly from the get go. Yeah.
Michelle: Yeah. Well, she grew up with adults. I mean, she, you know.
Dorothy: Oh yeah.
Michelle: She grew up with adults.
Dorothy: And I never forget the little fur coat.
Michelle: Oh, she was dressed like a old princess.
Dorothy: Yes, she was.
Michelle: She just was. She was raised with that group, great group of friends from Continental and.
Dorothy: But then you had a second.
Michelle: Yes. Yes.
Dorothy: And it happened not so far away.
Michelle: She, no. So, um, I, so that was, I adopted her in 2007. In 2011, I was diagnosed with breast cancer again, and she was six and it was passing the five year mark. And so I, nobody was more shocked than I was. I, I was at work one day playing with the necklace and I was on a [00:13:00] conference call and I was like, uh oh. And I went to Galveston and my friend Gigi, um, had adopted those three kids, international kids as well. And, um, all of us were going to the beach. And, um, after kids went to bed, I said, I found something. And she goes, no. I said, and I, I knew it. By that time, I, I had been around you guys. I knew what it felt like, you know, the first time I was just. Didn’t know what was going on the second time I, I knew it and so I went in.
Dorothy: Same cancer?
Michelle: Same breast cancer. Yeah. But I had had a complete mastectomy and it came back in my, uh, pictorial muscle.
Dorothy: Right.
Michelle: So it was, I called you the day I found out, and he said, did it? Did it? And you were. You said, did it, did it move to the other breast? I said, no, it just went deeper. Um, and Anderson didn’t know how to treat, how to treat it. And I’m like, you’re MD Anderson. You know? ’cause there’s all kinds of concerns. How much [00:14:00] of that muscle can you take? And without me being handicapped from it, and so it.
Dorothy: Well, if anyone was gonna get something new.
Michelle: Oh.
Dorothy: Or something different.
Michelle: Of course.
Dorothy: It was gonna be you.
Michelle: Of course.
Dorothy: I remembered. Time after time something new had happened in your treatment, and we’d go, never heard of that.
Michelle: Yeah. You know, what does that look like? Yeah, yeah.
Dorothy: Yeah. But what, what wind wound up happening?
Michelle: Well, first of all, I was the first time, um, I wasn’t scared as I was the second time. And I, I feel for people who have to, the first time you, you don’t know, the first time you have chemo. The first time I didn’t have to have radiation.
But you don’t know what to expect. You know, I had a full mastectomy with a tram and you know, that hurt a lot. And the second time with it being something that even Anderson had to get their best thinkers around, and then knowing what I was gonna have to go through. It was stage four and it, and they said [00:15:00] this could be terminal.
And I had a 6-year-old daughter and.
Dorothy: A single.
Michelle: A single mom, 6-year-old daughter, fully responsible for all the bills.
Dorothy: Everything.
Michelle: Right, everything, all the bills. And so it, it knocked me, it did knock me. Um. I thought about it, I prayed about it a lot, and, um, I don’t have the same definition of God as everybody else does. I’m not an organized religion, but I, I sure did find someone who would listen to me very quickly whenever I was going through that. And I was scared for my daughter. I was scared for me. Sorry. And my, my little girl was six at the time, and I sat her down. I said, yeah, mommy’s sick. Well, is it your tummy? Is it?
I said, no, mom, I have breast cancer. And she knew I’d had it before. It’s just like. Are you gonna lose your hair? I said, yes, I’m gonna, I’m [00:16:00] gonna lose my hair. And I, I was so grateful that that’s the worst thing she could think of was, was that, are you gonna lose your hair?
Dorothy: Yeah.
Michelle: And she goes, well, then I’m gonna shave my hair. And I said, she has this beautiful blonde hair. And I said, no, honey, you’re, you’re not, you’re not gonna shave your head. And so she went and toddler back to her room and came back in and she goes, I have another question. I said, sure. What is it? And I’m expecting the big questions like, are you gonna die? You know, how sick are you gonna be? You know, am I gonna have to take care of you? Her big question was, Sue, you’re gonna have a wig, right? And I said, yes, mom. Mommy will have a wig. And she’s going into first grade. And she goes, but we’re not gonna, and it was the summer. She goes, we’re not gonna tell anybody at school that you don’t have any hair.
And I said, we don’t have to. I’ll, I’ll wear a wig every time I’m up there. And then she went away and she came back and she goes, well, if you’re gonna be buying wigs. And she brought, this is in the age of, [00:17:00] of the iPad or iPod, and she came back and she said, um. I have found these wigs that I would like to, I would like to have these as well as if you’re gonna get a wig then.
And it was Rapunzel wig. It was a, it was an an Ariel wig. And so my friends heard that and they started buying all these wigs for her. So she, if I was gonna wear a wig, she was gonna wear a wig. So comes first grade and first day at first grade and she’d been there for kindergarten and um, I walked her into first grade. And without missing a beat, she goes, my mom is bald as she’s wearing a wig. I was like.
Dorothy: So much for all that planning.
Michelle: I’m pretty sure we talked about about this. She goes, take your wig off. I go.
Dorothy: I’m kidding.
Michelle: No, not not gonna do it. And she wore her wigs for a little bit and I, of course had to wear my wig and so she took it. She never got to the point at six that, this could be something, but she [00:18:00] did know how sick I was because I, the chemo made me sicker and, you know, there was a lot more time of uncertainty. So. Keeping that sense of calm around her, um, is when she all of a sudden had all these aunts and when she was about 10, um, aunt Jessica and Aunt Donna and Aunt Ivy and Aunt Mayan. Aunt Ette, I mean, it, it was just a mixed dozen. Right. She was about 10. I am gonna do a shout out to Maya Shea, who’s been just a good friend to her. But you know, Maya’s from China. So when Maya was on, she’s a reporter for a, B, C, Maya was on TV and she goes, there’s Maya. Maya. And my kid doesn’t understand.
This generation doesn’t see the difference in races at all. And some mean kid next to her said, how can that be your aunt? She’s from China, she’s Asian. And Mike was like. So she came home and she goes, are they all really your sisters? This is the first time you’ve saw her that, [00:19:00] wait a moment, this is, wait. And then she picked out a couple of them and she goes, please don’t tell me that these are not your sisters. You know, she had favorites within, within the aunt group. So, so the levity brought joy to my life. Um, and my mom was such a big help that second go around ’cause I couldn’t have, you know, dealt with, um, my daughter and working, ’cause I worked through a, I was working for a company called Cyberonics, and they’re now Lenova, but Dan Moore. Do you remember Dan? Our CEO. Dan brought me into this office and just said, just like Gordon had done and said, whatever you need, we’ve got you. And that’s how I got through that, um, is, is, is through that kind of kind of support bump. But my daughter was nothing but joy and love and a dream that time.
And, you know, at that age she moved back into my room. I had finally gone to her own room. She moved back into my room and she was just like, I don’t know what’s happening in here, but there’s a lot of coming and going and this, I’m, I’m just gonna. I’m just [00:20:00] gonna be over here. And so she, she looked through that with me and she got me through it.
Dorothy: Yeah. Yeah. I She was almost like the little mother then.
Michelle: She was little mother hand. Yes, she was. Yes. I’ve got another funny story. I’ve just gotta do a shout out. I, you know, I recently lost my friend Jessica.
Dorothy: Yes.
Michelle: Um, very suddenly, very tragic. Um, and, um, go is Gordon’s partner and, um, she died suddenly in, in, in, uh, March. Um, and I’m still not quite over that loss. That was just a tremendous, I mean, Jessica and I used to joke about we only had one brain between us and she’d call me in the morning and she goes, who has it today? And I go, I sure hope it’s me. ’cause I’ve got a big meeting at work and I have it today. Um. And so whenever I was at Anderson being diagnosed and it was in my pec muscle, and, um, they told me they were gonna bring in all these doctors because it was group think on it.
Like, what? What’s, how are we gonna, because I, they knew I had to have some surgery to remove it. And so, [00:21:00] um, Jessica just met me there at Anderson and I was already in the room with a bunch of doctors. And Jessica comes walking in and remember Jessica’s tall and gorgeous and just has presence. So much presence.
Dorothy: Yes.
Michelle: All the doctors in the room turn their head on, you know, who’s coming whooshing in. She’s like, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Excuse me. Excuse me. I promise you at least two of them said, what can we get you? Do you need some coffee? And I am, i’m there without my top on because they are, they are, you know, deciding and pro.
They’re all can, can I touch? It didn’t bother me anymore. And I was like. Uh, gentlemen. And, and, and women back to me please. And she was, and she was like, no, no, no, no, no. I’m fine. You need to pay attention to her. But she had that kind of presence about her. That they didn’t know who she was, but they, they suspected she was somebody and she was there just humbly as my friend taking notes.
So. Um, that was the kind of friendship she and I had, and she [00:22:00] really, I didn’t know her the first time I had cancer, but I did know her the second time. And between making sure that Mike was okay and her checking on me, it just, her loss has been harder than anything that I’ve, I’ve faced. But yes. Yeah, it’s still kind of going through that, but.
Dorothy: So you’ve mentioned that several have going on?
Michelle: Yeah. So when I was diagnosed, um, a good friend that I worked with named Tracy, um, who ended up marrying one of our executives of Dave Healthman, um, found out she had triple negative, um, cancer at the same time I, the first time I had cancer and I had her two new hormone receptive and our, our path just quickly went in different directions because at that time there was no treatment for HER2 NEW and or or triple negative.
Dorothy: Triple negative.
Michelle: Yeah. There was just, there was no, but.
Dorothy: It was very fresh for her too, also.
Michelle: Yeah, yeah.
Dorothy: Right.
Michelle: All of it was brand new.
Dorothy: Yeah.
Michelle: And Tracy had, um, has a [00:23:00] son, um, who was probably about six. I didn’t have Mikey yet, and she fought the brave fight. Um, for 6, 7, 8 years. And we, we weren’t real public friends. Like we would share text and I would go see her. I mean, because of, because it’s the same family, because of Connell family. She had lots of people surrounding her and Dave, and so she was more of the, um, you know, my quiet friend, the one that, you know, at one o’clock in the morning she would send me a text or you know, that kind of friend. And I got a text from Dave and he said, I don’t think Tracy’s gonna make it through the night. And I said, do you want me to come up there? And he said, no, Tracy, no, she just wanted me to let you know. And I said, what do you tell her? I love her. And, you know, right. And, and that was hard ’cause we had so many things in common about the same age, you know, children and. Um, so I went that, went through that. And then [00:24:00] a girl who was a concierge, um, which was the very elite of elite customer service in London. And she was diagnosed, I missed the same month I was, and she had hormone receptive, so she should have been on the same path. But the difference was her healthcare system is so different than our healthcare system and where I could call Anderson and they would fit me in if I had a problem. She’d have to wait for days to get back into a hospital environment, and she didn’t last past five years.
Dorothy: Oh my goodness.
Michelle: Um, so I, that first time I, I knew how fortunate I was, um, even though it was stage two, um, and my treatment was hard and it took a toll on me. It was nothing like what I had a couple of friends going through.
Dorothy: But that’s so important to, for anyone to remember. It doesn’t always mean your support system isn’t always family. It isn’t always who you expect them to be. And sometimes [00:25:00] you have to be the support of someone else that is.
Michelle: Even when you’re going through it.
Dorothy: Even when you’re going through it. And that, that is a, a very different, um, part of the breast cancer survivor’s life. That many, many will never ever know. It’s just, it’s just so different.
Michelle: Well, I met, there was, there was other people at Continental, I mean 50,000 employees. Of course there’s gonna be odds or several and, and my role at Continental was a very public one. Um, I. You know, between, I was in human resources and, and, um, there were things that would go out under my name. And so my name was recognizable. I’d been working for the airline since in my, I was in my twenties as a flight attendant, so I grew up there. Um, so I knew people that way, but, but because I had a recognizable name, and it was only because of my job, it wasn’t because of any, my position at the company.
Um, people reached out to me who were going through it and, you know. And some of them people didn’t rally around them. They didn’t have the same, [00:26:00] they were a flight attendant that.
Dorothy: Right.
Michelle: You know, didn’t fly with the same crew every week. There was, or every month. I mean, there was just people who were lonely during this time and, um, you and I talked about this. You know, how do you make sure, because I had everything I needed. I remember at one time you and I were talking about building out a part of The Rose that we would keep stocked with stuff. And, and so, so people who were coming through who didn’t have that support system , could go into the closet and pick out what they needed.
And I mean, that was so meaningful to me because I, I didn’t want for anything, um, both during both bouts of cancer, um, it got out to, to our corporate headquarters. ’cause I was working downtown for Continental at the time and I lived, um, really close to downtown. And, and someone told someone who told someone right.
That the only thing that really tasted good to me was Krispy Kreme donuts while I was going through cream chemo. That’s all I wanted to eat was Krispy Kreme donuts. That was, [00:27:00] that, that was the only thing that a big glass of cold milk. And when I was going through chemo, I, I, I, I never, and. Remind me to tell you about the, the whole image that I had of myself.
And I would, I would, people would know when I was going through chemo, knew when I wasn’t gonna be work. ’cause I was going through chemo and I would always take a couple of days off. Um, I’d open up my front door and there would be. Boxes of Krispy Kre, people would just come and put them in my front door.
Dorothy: Oh my gosh.
Michelle: So, but, but I realized everybody had that kind of support system. Mm um, and so another reason I was drawn to The Rose is.
Dorothy: Right.
Michelle: You know, people need their their people. And it may not be family, it may not be your husband probably isn’t gonna be their kids. Because they’re dealing with their own.
So I was extremely blessed in that.
Dorothy: Well, I think you taught us a lot about the importance of the employer. Uh, and, uh, being sure that we, even though we innately knew all of this.
Michelle: Yeah.
Dorothy: It [00:28:00] was like, uh, having those flexible policies.
Michelle: Yes.
Dorothy: That helped.
Michelle: Yes.
Dorothy: During these times, I mean. The things you brought to The Rose hel have hung around, are still here.
Michelle: So good to hear.
Dorothy: They’re still making a, a difference here. Yeah.
Michelle: Um, it was before I was diagnosed. I can’t say that this was done for me, but, um, one of the things, and it’s in my toolbox is, um, health and welfare benefits. You know, how, you know, it’s, it’s such a, and it hasn’t gotten any easier. I mean, Obamacare has helped tremendously, but it really hasn’t gotten that much easier. Um, on, how do you get things covered that are important to people who have cancer? Um, and women specifically, I mean, that’s, men have, I’m not saying they don’t go through the same thing. We live in Texas and hair is important here, right? I, I don’t care how much people say, oh, you look so beautiful bald. You will not find a woman who’s going through chemo. And they’ll go, oh, you just have a glow about you? And I’m like, no, that’s sweat. I am hot. That is just me hot.
Dorothy: All the [00:29:00] time.
Michelle: Yes, all the time. And so before I had cancer, Gordon had met a Huntington on board and she was wearing a scarf and he said, I don’t have, there’s. Uh, your scarf is beautiful, but why don’t, why don’t you know, have you thought about getting wig? And that’s just Gordon. He just cares about everybody. And she said, our insurance doesn’t pay for, um, very good wigs. The most, they’ll pay us $300 for those. Ouch. Here, who’ve tried to buy wig before that doesn’t get you anywhere.
He changed our health policy that you could have up to $12,000.
Dorothy: My goodness.
Michelle: To purchase the best weight you can get.
Dorothy: Wow.
Michelle: And so I went and got a long red real hair wig. And I’ve never been redhead before, but I was during that time. And, um, just those kind of differences, that caring of, you know, we’re gonna take care of you physically and, you know, our insurance is accepted at Anderson and at Continental is wearing, I [00:30:00] really learned the charity end of, they had a very strong, um, internal charity that would. And we all raised money for it. And because there’s so many of us, we, you know, there’s over 60,000 employees, you give $2 a month, that adds up really quickly. And so we had kind of this war chest to help people who were going through really catastrophic times. But those, those are the kind of things that you don’t think to go ask for, you know, as a woman, you just, you didn’t, you just, you know, $300 wig is scratchy. You’re, you’re bald and it’s itchy and, and you’re hot all the time. And so, you know, these breathable wigs are just. It makes the difference between life and death.
Dorothy: All the difference. Yes.
Michelle: I mean.
Dorothy: So single mother, young woman.
Michelle: Young woman.
Dorothy: Uh, adopted a child.
Michelle: Yeah.
Dorothy: Uh, on your own.
Michelle: Yeah.
Dorothy: But surrounded by an incredible support system.
Michelle: Amazing. And you know, I believe, and like I said, I have a little different way about thinking about, um. Um, God and religion. I, it’s, I, I believe in that completely. I’m [00:31:00] just not a go to church every Sunday kind kind of kind of girl. Um, I call myself a recovering Baptist, sorry, mom. Um, I, that became very important to me is the sense of, of, of knowing that I’m okay. And so the first time I, I knew without a doubt that I was gonna survive it. I had it, I had everything in me telling me that this was not the end of my story. The second time I didn’t have that. I was, I, I was scared. And, um, just having that sense. So, you know, I was the place, I was talking about how the world works for me. And at Continental, I was just surrounded by love during that time. And I’ve gotta tell you a funny story about that. ’cause not everybody’s gonna always be nice to you, doesn’t matter what you’re going through.
The second time I was at, um, Cyberonics, and it was that same type of environment that, you know, will get you through this time and, um, that employer piece, knowing what’s in your insurance, [00:32:00] knowing what additional things you can add to it without much cost to the company, hmm, is important because, um, anyone facing cancer needs that support, even with full insurance, cancer is expensive.
Dorothy: Yes.
Michelle: And I mean even I, I was fully insured and there were still costs. That insurance just, just doesn’t cover, I mean like the travel for my parents to come back and forth. You know, when I was really sick the second time with my daughter, you know, being able to bring someone in my home that summer who.
Took care of her and my employer helping pay for that. I mean, those kind of things. Um, companies really actually has become a mission of mine as I continue to lead HR functions that we, we understand, and it’s not all breast cancer, it’s any catastrophic event in your life that, that. I believe that that companies have a moral obligation. Um, you expect so much from your employees that when one of them is going through [00:33:00] a catastrophic event, your employer should step in. Um, and so I’ve been fortunate enough that I’ve been able to bring that to other jobs that other companies I’ve, I’ve led HR for.
Dorothy: So if you had one message to leave for Micah. What would it be?
Michelle: I think about that a lot now, now as a 20-year-old and a junior, I think it’s, um, understanding your self-worth.
Dorothy: Hmm.
Michelle: And I learned this from The Rose. I didn’t know this before here. Um, you know, I am, I’m, I’ve come from a, a middle class background, but my career has been allowed me things that most people don’t get to have. I mean, and. Um, I, I heard a story that either Dixie or you told had you guys come in for woman’s month. Um, I don’t even think it, I think it was woman’s month. I don’t think it was, um, uh, breast cancer awareness. And it was [00:34:00] you and you showed a picture of what happens when, um, cancer gets to the point where it’s growing outside the breast. And it was from, um, a woman who was, um, Latino and she was afraid to be diagnosed and she knew she was sick. And because of her culture and because of the fact she didn’t have a good job and she didn’t know if she could afford to be treated right. And that left this imprint on me that, um, I’m by certainly, uh, from a privileged background, but that I have so much and that employers can find that money. I have put a charity into every company I’ve worked for since, um, and, and you know, at first people go, no, we’re not gonna do that. I’m like. Yeah, we need to do it. Need to do it. I mean, having that, those funds and, um.
So back to Micah. Sorry, I [00:35:00] kind of diverted. So I want Micah to understand her self-worth. I don’t want her ever to be thinking she’s not worthy of treatment or worthy of being treated well or worthy of, of the good things in life to bring. I want her to be grateful for them, but I know that I want her to know that she’s worthy.
Um, and, um, my, my grandfather a long time ago, um, years and years ago, uh, I come from, I have a cousin who was Miss USA, I mean, for whatever reason, very pretty people in my family. And, um, he told me when I was really little and I didn’t understand it until later, he said, anybody can be pretty. He goes, but not everybody can be smart. He goes, so you too smart. And I want her to know that too smart. And so, um, if I can tell a quick story, Micah.
Dorothy: Sure.
Michelle: Micah came to me and, you know, I have supported myself and supported my daughter and at times supported my parents. Um. And others, you know, through the course of my [00:36:00] life and I’ve been able to do so. Um, but I don’t want Micah to think that it’s easy. And so she came to me and it’s really important to her that she goes into social work. She has this, this desire, um, because of her adoption from Russia and the challenges she faced. And, um, and so she, she came right out while she was graduating. She goes, I wanna be a social worker.
And I said, okay. I said, I think that’s the most worthy thing you can do. I said, but let’s, let’s look how much a, a social worker is gonna make. I said, because, honey, I’m not gonna be around forever. I’m an older mom. You know, there’s gonna be a time where you’re gonna have to be, I want you in a position where you can afford your life and you don’t, you’re not dependent on, on chance or marrying the right person or any of that, any of that. And so we went through the books in my book, our books, and I said, this is not, and I’m not knocking any social worker ’cause that that’s God’s work. I mean that is.
Dorothy: Oh absolutely.
Michelle: That is amazing. And but for my daughter, I [00:37:00] knew as an older mom and I never married, so I haven’t been a really good role model on that. Um, I said, let’s think about other things you can do that still does that good work. And so, uh, back to Jessica, Jessica’s a lawyer and we’re friends. I talked Pat Meyer. We’re friends with, um, Jean Wu, who is, um, the, uh, in our Texas Congress and, and we were all talking one night when Christmas Eve and uh, either Jessica or Jean said you should be a lawyer. ‘Cause if you don’t remember that about Micah, Micah’s always been a negotiator. I’ll do this if you do this. Okay. I’ll take a bath, but then you have to read me three books. I mean, it’s always been that negotiation and I. You would make a good lawyer. So it changed her world. She’s now going to law school ah, and to be, and she wants to do family law.
And she’s already started thinking about how does she do pro bono work and then how does she, you know, make money. And I, I’ll end with this ’cause it’s so, it’s so [00:38:00] funny. And so Micah, um, and I, I hope, uh, from environment, she gets this from me and she came in like this was recently, and she’s thinking through law school and where she wants to go, and she’s still, she still lives at home. I mean, we’re still so very close and I will never get her out. I mean, I’m just not gonna do it. Um, but she came in and she goes, okay. So as their legal representative, she said, what’s my scope? And I said, well, you give, you advocate. You, you go, um, with children to family court. You help them speak up for themselves. She goes. Well, that’s, that’s good. She goes, but who gets to decide what happens to these children? I said, well, that would be a judge. And she goes, hmm, yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do. I said, let’s get through law school, baby, baby steps. So.
Dorothy: That’s So like your daughter, so much like the mother. Oh, well thank you so [00:39:00] much, Michelle, for, for being with us today.
Michelle: It’s been a pleasure.
Dorothy: Helping us to, uh, put things in perspective.
Michelle: Yeah.
Dorothy: Yeah.
Michelle: Thank you.
Dorothy: And the importance.
Michelle: Thank you. This is a huge honor to be here. Thank you.
Dorothy: Oh. You’re most welcome.
Post-Credits: Thank you for joining us today on Let’s Talk About Your Breasts. This podcast is produced by Speke Podcasting and brought to you by The Rose. Visit therose.org to learn more about our organization. Subscribe to our podcast, share episodes with friends, and join the conversation on social media using #LetsTalkAboutYourBreasts. We welcome your feedback and suggestions. Consider supporting The Rose. Your gift can make the difference to a person in need. And remember, self care is not selfish. It’s essential.
