Dorothy: [00:00:00] What happens when you’re diagnosed with breast cancer at age 42, while you’re also running a business and just been married? Today I talk with Gaylyn DeVine, a longtime patient of The Rose and a community volunteer. She found her lump advocated for herself and learned what it means to lean on others. We talk about how early detection shaped her whole journey and what it really means to accept help even when you’re used to being the strong one. Her connection with others has become her source of strength. I hope Gaylyn’s story inspires you and I hope you share it with someone you love because it could make a difference in their life.
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Let’s Talk About Your Breast, a different kind of podcast [00:01:00] presented to you by The Rose, a breast center of excellence, and a Texas treasure. You’re gonna hear frank discussions about tough topics and you’re gonna learn why knowing about your breast could save your life.
So Gaylyn it, it seems like anything I go to in Pasadena, you’re there. I mean, you have to be the ultimate community volunteer and you’re just always into something helping someone or doing some event. What do you do in your real life?
Gaylyn: Well, I own a small business. And so we do commercial printing and promotional items. But I love volunteering and being involved in the community and helping people find their voice and empowering them in the community. ’cause I think that’s so important to give back, not just keep your talents to yourself.
Dorothy: Right. Right. [00:02:00] So when did you first know about The Rose?
Gaylyn: Well, actually, golly, it, it just seems it sometimes it seems like yesterday and then it seems like so long ago. But I was adopted at birth. I don’t know if you knew that.
Dorothy: I didn’t know that.
Gaylyn: But I was very blessed. Dr. Roberts was my OB doctor in Pasadena, and I was just really nervous about not having those medical records. And so she sent me to The Rose at 40 years old to get what she called a baseline. Uh huh What a blessing to have that. And so she was a big proponent of, uh, women taking care of themselves and she was an advocate for y’all. And, um, so that started my relationship with, uh, the work that y’all did and how, uh, having insurance. And me coming to The Rose helped other people be able, absolutely able to get that treatment. [00:03:00]
Dorothy: You were eventually diagnosed with breast cancer?
Gaylyn: I was.
Dorothy: But it wasn’t right then.
Gaylyn: No.
Dorothy: You had been coming to us regularly.
Gaylyn: Two years, yeah.
Dorothy: Ah.
Gaylyn: Yeah. So I got that baseline and back then. You really had to fight to get a mammogram at 40 years old. They’re like, there’s no need for that. And Dr. Roberts, along with me, advocated for the fact that I didn’t have medical records, and it was important to me, even if I had to pay for it, that I wanted that peace of mind. And to have that, uh, done and so thankful that I did because two years later.
Dorothy: Right.
Gaylyn: I’m diagnosed.
Dorothy: Right.
Gaylyn: With breast cancer.
Dorothy: Tiny, tiny bit of a record on you. Yes.
Gaylyn: Yes. You had two years worth of records, um, to help me navigate that.
Dorothy: And you know, that’s such an important point that we forget to tell women sometimes. Because we had those two years, [00:04:00] we had films on you for two years. We had something to compare. And you know, so many times, especially in a young woman, uh, something might look a little off, but, but unless you’re comparing it to a previous view, you don’t know for sure that it is. And so that really. That really is important. It could have been easily overlooked, easily just because of your age.
Gaylyn: Yeah.
Dorothy: How did, do you remember.
Gaylyn: Oh, yeah.
Dorothy: Getting that diagnosis?
Gaylyn: I remember it like, um, like I said, sometimes it seems so long ago. And then it’s just like yesterday, I can recall it all, but it was such a God thing for me. I was, uh, sitting in bed and talking to my husband, uh, we’d been married 10 weeks. We’re sitting there, you know, really just talking. Yes. And, and I feel this lump. And I was like, this was, this wasn’t here before this, this isn’t, this doesn’t belong here. So I didn’t [00:05:00] sleep. And, uh, for women out there, you know how long it takes us to get those appointments. Well, mine was the next day.
Dorothy: Wow.
Gaylyn: So, uh, Dr. Roberts, I go in and I’m like, I know I’m here for the other thing, but this is all I care about. Check this, this is all This is all I wanna know about. And she does a ultrasound. And my regular appointment was scheduled for The Rose that Friday. So this was, I found it Tuesday night.
Dorothy: Oh my gosh.
Gaylyn: With her on Wednesday. My regular appointment was scheduled for Friday.
Dorothy: Wow.
Gaylyn: Talk about God.
Dorothy: Yeah.
Gaylyn: And so I’m telling Dr. Roberts, I, I can’t wait till Friday. This, I’m, I’m not gonna sleep. This isn’t gonna happen. And she called The Rose and got me in that day. She said she, she’s not gonna make it till Friday. You’ve got to see her today. I left her office. And came straight to The Rose and, uh, [00:06:00] they took me in and were, um, so sweet about calming me down and, uh, getting the ultrasound. And we, uh, scheduled a biopsy for the following Tuesday. I mean, everything that, that you could want if you’re diagnosed, fell into place. Everyone at The Rose was just such a blessing.
Dorothy: Oh, that’s so good to hear. Yeah, but my gosh, how scary. You’re so young.
Gaylyn: Yeah.
Dorothy: Just married.
Gaylyn: Yeah.
Dorothy: Oh.
Gaylyn: Yeah. And once I knew that it was, and, and I tell women like, you are your best advocate. You know your body better than anybody else. I mean, so. Um, so as soon as I was diagnosed and uh, we scheduled the biopsy, I made an appointment with Dr. Melillo and said, this has to come out. I don’t care what the end result is.
Dorothy: Right. Right.
Gaylyn: This has [00:07:00] to come out. And it was very close to my lymph nodes, um, in my, um, chest. And so I knew it had to come out regardless. Again, just having her in Pasadena and having already having a couple of years relationship and scheduling that appointment. And you hear horror stories, for lack of better words, where people wait and they go and get second and third opinions. And I don’t know if you realize, but literally in less than two weeks from when I was diagnosed, Dr. Melillo had done surgery. And it was out.
Dorothy: Oh my goodness.
Gaylyn: It was very aggressive.
Dorothy: Yeah.
Gaylyn: And it was growing rapidly and she just, uh, took the bull by the horns and took such good care of me.
Dorothy: So we’re not waiting on any of this.
Gaylyn: No, no. We’re not waiting. We’re I advocated And she responded. [00:08:00]
Dorothy: Did you have a lumpectomy?
Gaylyn: I have a lumpectomy.
Dorothy: Radiation?
Gaylyn: Had radiation. She, um, she took care, uh, of that, Dr. Yang was.
Dorothy: Oh, yes. Yes.
Gaylyn: Uh, amazing. Uh, and then, now I didn’t do chemo. I didn’t have the medical records at the time. Uh, you’ll remember Vicki Reynolds.
Dorothy: Oh, yes.
Gaylyn: Yes. She was a huge advocate for me and taught me the new vocabulary that you need to learn.
Dorothy: And it’s, it definitely is.
Gaylyn: Yes, yes, yes. And you don’t know those things until, you know, but, um. Mine was, uh, early stage. I was young. Uh, it was very aggressive, but at the time, the additive for the chemo, Herceptin had only been tested on late stage over 60 year old women. I didn’t, I didn’t meet any of those, that criteria.
Dorothy: Right.
Gaylyn: None of that. [00:09:00] So, um, so I, uh, opted for no chemo, did the radiation, was a good girl. Uh, Dr. Yang was amazing. And, uh, here we are 20 years later.
Dorothy: Wow. Congratulations.
Gaylyn: So, and I’m not saying that’s for everyone. That’s where advocating for yourself and knowing what you can handle in your body and praying that through and being able to live with those decisions.
Dorothy: Right.
Gaylyn: Is very important.
Dorothy: But I think what you said about, you know your body Yeah. And you felt comfortable.
Gaylyn: Yeah.
Dorothy: And the decisions that were being made, you felt comfortable with your physician?
Gaylyn: Yes.
Dorothy: You know, I, I am a firm believer that the, you know, that is the key to recovery.
Gaylyn: Yeah.
Dorothy: If you have a question about your physician, anything doesn’t feel right.
Gaylyn: Yeah.
Dorothy: Any decisions going on, then that’s the time to get another opinion. But boy, I tell you, when you do, you, it just seems like recovery is so much [00:10:00] faster and easier.
Gaylyn: It is. When you have that comfort and also when you, uh, one of the things that, that George did, you know, I think sometimes the husbands kind of get, get set aside.
Dorothy: They get lost. Absolutely.
Gaylyn: Yeah. Because it’s it’s all about you.
Dorothy: Right.
Gaylyn: And, um. So one of the things that my husband George did was if you didn’t have like positive things to say to me, he really became a screener in my life. And so if you were someone that, uh, caused me stress or caused me anxiety, you, you were, you were not allowed.
Dorothy: Wow.
Gaylyn: During, during all of that treatment, how in the world did, did he handle that? He would just be very diplomatic in that she’s, she’s not able to see anyone today. She’s focusing on herself today. We’re focusing on getting ready for her next treatment [00:11:00] today. Um, or she’s had treatments all week so she’s not, you know, really able to, um, have visitors or handle visitors this week. Just, and he did that on his own, like he just stepped up.
Dorothy: What, what would you call that? He was like, your security. He was like.
Gaylyn: He was, yes.
Dorothy: No one crosses this line.
Gaylyn: He was, he was my, my bodyguard.
Dorothy: Well, I could see that in him. Yes.
Gaylyn: Yes, yes. Because it was so important. To, to focus on me. And to be surrounded with encouraging words and positive affirmations. And so, um, as women, you, it only takes one person really to wipe out those affirmations you did all day.
Dorothy: Absolutely.
Gaylyn: Right.
Dorothy: What’s but what, you know, what is it about us that we’ll focus on that negative.
Gaylyn: Yeah.
Dorothy: No matter what.
Gaylyn: Yes.
Dorothy: Even if we have a thousand positives.
Gaylyn: Even if our hair looks great, that one thing hair.
Dorothy: That one thing that you know.
Gaylyn: Yes. Wipes [00:12:00] us out.
Dorothy: What I used to love was, you look tired today. Oh, I’d go. You wanna slap people like that?
Gaylyn: You do, you do!
Dorothy: It’s just.
Gaylyn: It’s like keep that stuff to yourself.
Dorothy: Yeah. Is it gonna help me today? You know, I’m gonna be on stage all day long. You’re telling me I look, Ugh.
Gaylyn: Yeah. It’s like, that’s not energizing. Thank you so much.
Dorothy: Yeah. Right.
Gaylyn: You know? Right. But he just, he did, he, um. Uh, he just took responsibility for making sure, he says that he kind of felt like it was his duty to make sure that he didn’t allow people, um, that he could control to bring me down or to refocus because, um, radiation, you know, was five days a week.
Dorothy: Absolutely.
Gaylyn: Yeah.
Dorothy: And what’d you do? Six weeks? Eight weeks?
Gaylyn: I did eight weeks.
Dorothy: Eight weeks? Yeah.
Gaylyn: Eight weeks of radiation.
Dorothy: Yeah.
Gaylyn: Five days a week. And you know, by, oh goodness, five weeks or so, come Wednesday. Don’t ask me what I want for dinner ’cause I don’t know my name. Right? I’m exhausted. And, [00:13:00] uh, so he was very perceptive to recognize those little things that people, that, you know, you could come by and bring food or, you know, you could help, you could be engaged. Um, but he just, um. Was very, was just very sweet about making sure that everything was positive.
Dorothy: It’s such, such good advice for any husband to…
Gaylyn: It is.
Dorothy: To hear.
Gaylyn: And it’s their way they can contribute ’cause they can’t do a lot. Right?
Dorothy: And they can’t fix it.
Gaylyn: They cannot fix it. Which is their, which is their main goal. That’s what they do.
Dorothy: Yes.
Gaylyn: Right. Yes. They can’t fix it. They can take you to doctor’s appointments. They can do ease some things around the house. Make some decisions instead of making you make some decisions that, like, what’s for dinner? Who cares because.
Dorothy: Right.
Gaylyn: You know.
Dorothy: Who cares?
Gaylyn: But, um, but they can do that little thing and, um, I think that also restores kind of their, um, part of their fix it. Like I’m, I’m [00:14:00] protecting her. I’m shielding her in a way that no one else can.
Dorothy: Right.
Gaylyn: And I will never forget that, yeah.
Dorothy: Yeah. That is, that is a great story. Great story. I don’t, I’ve heard a lot of good stories here about the spouse and how all that worked, but that is one that’s so important. It’s, you know, we, we forget that no matter what, whether it’s chemo or radiation, there’s an emotional cost in there. There’s an emotional drain.
Gaylyn: Yeah.
Dorothy: That, uh, you can’t help but have, I mean. You go to the doctor twice a year and you feel.
Gaylyn: Yes.
Dorothy: Kind of scared when you go, but every single day for that many weeks.
Gaylyn: Yeah.
Dorothy: To.
Gaylyn: Yeah.
Dorothy: Be doing something that, you know, could mean the difference in your life and your death.
Gaylyn: Yeah.
Dorothy: I mean that’s just, that’s a big emotional
Gaylyn: It is and and it’s also like. You know, that became the, the priority. Like, [00:15:00] so your work schedule even, you know, every day you schedule appointments or schedule things that you’re, you’re doing. So for those weeks, every day at 3:00 PM you know, drive to Dr. Yang, have that done. And then, you know, the further into the treatment, I couldn’t go back to work. I was just, I was exhausted, right? And so I would just go home. It’s like, and so I think one of the other things that we as women, um, you know, we have to do it all right. And, um.
Dorothy: Where did we ever get that?
Gaylyn: I don’t know. I don’t know where.
Dorothy: Who planted that in our minds. I, you know, I look back and I go, what, what are you thinking?
Gaylyn: Yeah, I don’t know, but I just, you have to give yourself grace. And I think that’s one thing that women, um, we’re not good at giving ourself grace. It’s okay to go home. So I didn’t work eight [00:16:00] hours or 10 or 12 hours that day.
Dorothy: And did you have your business there?
Gaylyn: Yeah.
Dorothy: So you being available for your own business is pretty important to that client?
Gaylyn: It is. And so that emotional, um, or that stress we put on ourselves It’s not the customers doing it?
Dorothy: No.
Gaylyn: It’s, it’s us doing it to ourselves. You know, you leave, you go get the treatment and then about Wednesday of the week, the further it got in I, I would just go home and take a nap and that’s it.
Dorothy: Yeah.
Gaylyn: And so then you deal with the guilt of, oh, I didn’t go back to work. Everybody else is at work. And so I think that’s another lesson for women is to give yourself grace. When you’re going through these battles, you’re no good to anybody else. You know, I could go back to work.
Dorothy: It wouldn’t have no.
Gaylyn: It wouldn’t have been worth anything.
Dorothy: And you wouldn’t have let your best friend do it?
Gaylyn: No. No, no.
Dorothy: That’s, that’s wouldn’t.
Gaylyn: Oh, yeah.
Dorothy: That’s what gets me sometimes, you know, we are our best friend. We’re very happy when we do something that is [00:17:00] good for us, but we don’t realize how many things we feel we have to do that we really don’t.
Gaylyn: Yeah. Yeah. We feel like we’re letting someone else down when at the end of the day we’re letting ourselves down because again, I believe in just giving our ourself that grace to, um, to take care of ourselves and we. Tend to be very focused on taking care of everyone else. But ourselves. And so that’s one of the big lessons of having breast cancer, though I’d never wish it on anybody else.
Dorothy: Yeah.
Gaylyn: There were so many great lessons that I learned, um, through having it that I, God could have taught me the other hard ways. I mean, Right? Knocked me over the head a few other ways.
Dorothy: Yeah.
Gaylyn: But it also allowed me to help others with, with breast cancer. I don’t, I don’t know if you knew this, but for a short while after I was done treatment, um, there was a lady that moved here, um, from [00:18:00] South Lake and she didn’t have any family here at all. She moved here for a job and so I would take her chocolate cake and a gallon of milk and we became the best friends. Um, but that got her through having, uh, to go to these treatments and not have any family here until she was strong enough to kind of take that ball and run with it herself.
Dorothy: Yeah.
Gaylyn: And so I wouldn’t have met her any other way. And so I think, um.
Dorothy: And only because you’d already been there.
Gaylyn: Already been there.
Dorothy: Did, did she trust that you understood what.
Gaylyn: Yes.
Dorothy: What you, what she was going through.
Gaylyn: Right. You know that saying been there, done that. Got the t-shirt. I have several of those. So, but I think, um, that’s another way that you can help yourself heal is by pouring in what you learned into someone else who’s newly, [00:19:00] diagnosed, nervous, um, unsure. You know, and so I found for me that being able to pour myself into someone else and help them was very healing for me as well, and passing that on. Um, because though our cancers were different. They’re still very much the same.
Dorothy: Right. And that is, that is such an important point. Yeah. I mean, there’s 17 different kind of breast cancers, not all are gonna respond the same treatment.
Gaylyn: Right.
Dorothy: They’re all gonna have different factors that will make them more aggressive or not. So that’s, that’s just even a lesson to learn right there.
Gaylyn: Yeah.
Dorothy: Because too often when we’re trying to, um, Sympathize with someone, it, we go to our own experience. Well, for me, well, I don’t know why your doctor’s not having you do X, Y, Z.
Gaylyn: Right.
Dorothy: That’s not good. You know, you just have to say, mine was like [00:20:00] this. Yours is like this, but here’s some of the things I can help you with.
Gaylyn: Right, right.
Dorothy: So you, you had the lesson of the husband.
Gaylyn: Yeah.
Dorothy: And how important it is to have barriers or have boundaries.
Gaylyn: Absolutely.
Dorothy: You had the lesson of giving yourself that grace. Being able to go home. The lesson of knowing how you can help another and how it’s healing for yourself. Any others that come to mind?
Gaylyn: Well, I think it’s important too. You know, after I was diagnosed, the scars, you know, there are constant reminder. I have four tattoos. I’ll tell you a funny story. So my daughter was in college. She was at Texas A&M. I was diagnosed and she wanted a tattoo. And I was like, no, no, not under my watch. You’re on my payroll. No tattoos. No. When you’re out on your own, you do what you want to with your own body and lo and behold, God’s sense of humor. I have four tattoos, [00:21:00] you know? And so, you know, after I got that, I thought, thanks so much, God. You know, so, um, but those reminders, um.
Dorothy: To camouflage.
Gaylyn: The, to camouflage. Yes. And to make sure that the mold was the exact place every time. Uhhuh, you know, to make sure that they were, um, targeting exactly the same spot.
Dorothy: Right.
Gaylyn: Every time I told her, my tattoos are not like what you’re wanting, thank you very much. You don’t want these four.
Dorothy: Right.
Gaylyn: But, um, but. As I, as I saw the scars and, and healed, and every time I had an appointment, you know, I’d get very anxious, you know, about having to go back because Dr. Melillo kept me on a very short leash. Very short after surgery. And, you know, I could, um, first, you know. Wanna see me every two months and then she let me go to three months and then she let me go to six months. And [00:22:00] I remember when I got released to not come back for a year like that was like a celebration party. Right? Um, and so I think it’s important that when we look at scars, we also look at how far we’ve come. When you look at those, because now 20 years later, um, I can look back and those, those scars have brought me so far. And, um, so just, uh, the battle scars, so to speak, of still standing strong and, um, what happened in that time and what’s happened since then in advocating for women to get checked, there’s no reason with, with The Rose here for you to not get checked, there’s absolutely no reason and, um, to not be fearful of, uh, any of the results because The Rose will be here with you every step of the way. I [00:23:00] didn’t need, um, all of the steps, but I was so appreciative of friends who did need extra steps and y’all carried them, held their hand through the whole, whole process. And so I think women, um, can, can be their own advocate. And early detection obviously is, is the key. And I’ve had friends that waited and, and I wish that they wouldn’t have, and they, they let insurance or money or this or that, you know, keep them from coming and being treated. So, um.
Dorothy: But it’s always hard to ask for help.
Gaylyn: It is. It’s hard to ask for help and one of the things is like, I didn’t look sick. Right.
Dorothy: That is such a good point. You don’t, right?
Gaylyn: No, I didn’t. And even back then, you know, um, I didn’t look sick, so it would be difficult for people when I’m told ’em no. I can’t do that this week, or no, I can’t meet that schedule, or No, we don’t want to do [00:24:00] this or that. And, um, so I didn’t look sick to people and so. Knowing inside, um, that no is an answer and you don’t have to explain the why.
Dorothy: How long did it take you to learn that stuff?
Gaylyn: It took me about five years really, to really.
Dorothy: It takes a long time.
Gaylyn: And a lot of practice.
Dorothy: Yes.
Gaylyn: A lot.
Dorothy: Absolutely.
Gaylyn: It does not happen overnight. But you know, God tells us no all the time. You don’t. Listen sometimes, but he he does.
Dorothy: It’s true.
Gaylyn: And as a mom, we tell our children no. And sometimes that answer is when they say, well, why? Well, because I just said so. I mean that intuition in us, the Holy Uhoh, whatever you wanna call that is powerful. But it took me a long time to realize that I could say no and I didn’t have to explain it. And, um. And it was important to me to take care of me. And that’s, that’s, that’s all [00:25:00] hard stuff for women. It’s very hard, um, to take that on.
Dorothy: What do you wish you had known during that first year?
Gaylyn: Oh, goodness. I wish, I mean, I some respects, I wish that I would’ve known that if I would have been more open about it publicly. I think that customers would’ve understood, vendors would’ve understood, but very private.
Dorothy: But Gaylyn, yeah. This was 20 years ago.
Gaylyn: Yeah.
Dorothy: I cannot tell you how many women have said the same thing. My business had to survive for…
Gaylyn: yeah.
Dorothy: …me to keep going.
Gaylyn: Yeah.
Dorothy: So I wasn’t gonna tell anyone, or…
Gaylyn: Right.
Dorothy: …I wasn’t gonna share.
Gaylyn: Yeah.
Dorothy: You know, that’s. I don’t even, I’m not even sure we’ve made that much progress today in our business communities.
Gaylyn: I don’t know. But that was, you know, I needed, I had 10 employees that, you know, you counted on paychecks.
Dorothy: Right, right.
Gaylyn: Right. So if you tell a customer, Hey, you know, [00:26:00] I’m gonna be out because Ive breast cancer and I don’t know what that looks like. You know, did they take their business elsewhere? You know, so those unknowns. So I think to, to a woman maybe, um. Who is just starting the process now. Um, I do think that I would, I would do, that’s what I would do differently.
I would, obviously we told employees they knew. They had to know. But I think there, um, there is a way that I could have let customers know that it wasn’t gonna stop business or slow down business, but, um, I needed them to understand and, um. And give me grace as well. And I think they would’ve, I think would
Dorothy: We underestimate.
Gaylyn: We do.
Dorothy: What another human being understands.
Gaylyn: Yeah. And longtime customers. I mean, I think they want what’s best for us too, but I think that’s one of the things as women, and I think too to, um, to [00:27:00] give your family, um, opportunities to serve you.
Dorothy: Oh, that’s a good point.
Gaylyn: You know, ’cause we’re taking care of our family. We’re taking care of our children. So give your family the opportunity. So receive those gifts. Don’t say I don’t need anything. When someone reaches out and says, you know, Hey, I’m here for you. What can I do for you? And, um, and I’ve changed some of that in, in my life because everyone’s gonna say, no, I’m good. I’m fine. And so. I, uh, take more of a proactive. Oh. Um, when will you be home from the hospital? When will you be needing meals? You know, and so.
Dorothy: Or I’m dropping this off.
Gaylyn: Yes.
Dorothy: So is there any reason I cannot drop it off?
Gaylyn: Right. Right. Not permission.
Dorothy: No permission.
Gaylyn: Right, right.
Dorothy: Right. So, ’cause people cannot think your, your mind’s on a hundred other things and, and yet someone told me, someone who would take her [00:28:00] dog out to walk.
Gaylyn: Yeah.
Dorothy: Was the best gift.
Gaylyn: Absolutely.
Dorothy: Because she just didn’t have the energy.
Gaylyn: Absolutely. Yeah. And so just, um, but allowing your family, you know, to do that and, um, do for you what you’ve done for them. Allow your neighbors, like tell your, your close neighbors so that they can’t, they can get the mail or.
Dorothy: Oh, yeah.
Gaylyn: Just little if they see packages on the porch for you, you know?
Dorothy: Right.
Gaylyn: So just allowing, you know, you don’t have to allow everyone into your circle.
Dorothy: Yeah.
Gaylyn: But when people ask: how can I help? What can I do for you?
Dorothy: Have your list ready.
Gaylyn: Give them something to do.
Dorothy: Yes.
Gaylyn: Right?
Dorothy: Yes.
Gaylyn: Have a list. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I, I hadn’t been to the dry cleaners in two weeks. Would, would you mind doing that? Give them something to do because the blessing is twofold. They are blessed because they got to help you and you’re blessed because you allowed them, and you don’t, you kind of cut that off by saying, no, I’m good. [00:29:00] It’s any task.
Dorothy: You, you threw away their gift, their offer of this gift.
Gaylyn: Yes. Right. Their opportunity to be a blessing and to be blessed. So that’s, that’s what I would tell anyone going through it now in anything, not just breast cancer. Any type of treatments like that.
Dorothy: Right.
Gaylyn: Where you need, need some help allow people, especially when they ask.
Dorothy: Right.
Gaylyn: Allow them, allow them in.
Dorothy: Were you ever worried about your daughter?
Gaylyn: Um, yes and no. Uh. You know, she was, she was at college. She came home, you know, for all the treatments, and she was like, I’m just gonna quit college. I was like, no, you’re not. You know, I, it is. So, this too shall pass. This is all gonna be fine. But one of the things that Dr. Roberts again, um, intervened for us is she got the Brock Gene testing done for us and she made insurance cover it.
Dorothy: Good for her.
Gaylyn: 20 years ago.
Dorothy: 20 years ago. That was a biggie. Yes.
Gaylyn: That’s [00:30:00] huge. And so that helped put us to rest. Mine was a protein based cancer, so wasn’t estrogen based. And so that, that kind of put some fears uh, to rest on that. She finished graduated college and so actually she’s expecting a baby at the end of this month.
Dorothy: Oh my goodness.
Gaylyn: Yeah.
Dorothy: You must be so excited.
Gaylyn: I am. I am.
Dorothy: And imagine 20 years ago, you may not have thought you’d be here.
Gaylyn: Right, right.
Dorothy: Yes.
Gaylyn: Yes. All very scary. I remember when they gave me the results, you know, from the, the biopsy, and I’m in the room and she’s given me all the legal terms. I was like, you can stop. I haven’t heard a word you said since you said this. You know, you’re right. So if you’ll make copies of all of that for my mother, she will do all that research stuff. And uh, and they did, and I took all that to my mom and said, here, you know, here’s our worst fears, [00:31:00] but here you dissect all that stuff. I’m, I’m gonna go get treatment.
Dorothy: Yeah. How much did your faith carry you through?
Gaylyn: Um, immensely. A lot. Uh, I, I couldn’t have done it without, without leaning into that church was an, an amazing resource. Um, meals, all the things that, you know, um, pray, you know, they just getting a message. I’m praying for you today. Yeah. Yeah. It’s great.
Dorothy: Well, you know, you have really, uh, beat the odds for one thing, 40 years old, 42 years old, and finding cancer the way you did.
Gaylyn: Yeah.
Dorothy: The, all the things you’ve showed us and talk, talked about the God things. Any parting words of advice for a woman who’s just discovered that she has this?
Gaylyn: Well, I could tell her not to be afraid. That wouldn’t be true. [00:32:00] Um. So probably I would just, I, I mean, I think back when, um, when I knew like, and, and again, I, you know, your body yourself, so I knew, you know, you have to go through the biopsy and you have to go through the, but I knew, and, um, once I found it, and then once we did the, I, I just knew.
And so I think, um, have the, um, it’s okay to be afraid, you know? It’s okay. Yeah. It’s okay to be afraid, I think. Um, acknowledge that, you know, it’s okay. Uh, it will make you stronger. It absolutely will, but don’t pretend like you’re not okay. Don’t pretend like you’re not afraid. And, um, and so I think that’s important that, for, for me, it’s like, I knew it was, [00:33:00] but I’ve gotta be strong.
You know, I own a business and I’ve got employees and I’m newly married and I’ve got a child at college. I, I’ve got to be In and, and I wasn’t any of those things. I was broken. You know? And, um, so I think just be real. Just be real.
Dorothy: Good. Nice.
Gaylyn: Just talk to your, your husband, your children, talk to them about how you’re really feeling. Um, and that changes moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day before treatment, after treatment.
Dorothy: Right.
Gaylyn: But, um, but I think there’s, um. There’s a lot of power and authenticity of how.
Dorothy: Oh, absolutely.
Gaylyn: You’re feeling.
Dorothy: They can’t read your mind.
Gaylyn: They cannot yet. So yet we so expect.
Dorothy: Yes.
Gaylyn: That to happen.
Dorothy: Yes.
Gaylyn: But I think that’s what I would tell someone today. Just be authentic. It’s, it’s okay. It’s okay to be angry. It’s, You know, it’s, it’s okay. All of those emotions that you’re feeling are, um, perfectly normal. Just [00:34:00] acknowledge ’em, run with them and find a, if you’re, and even like if you’re a single mom or you’re unmarried, find, um, a very core group, small group. That will allow you to do that, to be authentic and to have those emotions and uh, like, kind of like a no judgment zone. Right?
Dorothy: Right.
Gaylyn: That you can do all of that, because that’s part of the healing process too.
Dorothy: Yes. Yeah. Absolutely.
Gaylyn: And so.
Dorothy: And that’s a great descriptor. Yes, yes.
Gaylyn: Yeah. It’s part of the healing process to do all of those emotions and then allow your experience to help someone else. Don’t keep it to yourself. Allow that. And I, I think that goes full circle to, back to your first question. That’s why it’s so important for me to be engaged and help other people, because I’ve been given so much.
Dorothy: Oh, great story. Great stories.
Gaylyn: Yeah.
Dorothy: Thank you so much for being with [00:35:00] us today and for being so honest and open. We need to hear that.
Gaylyn: Yeah. Yeah. So thank you for inviting me. It’s…
Dorothy: Absolutely.
Gaylyn: …you know, seeing you, that was just kind of a divine I know moment. You know, 20 years another God thing. It is.
Dorothy: Oh my gosh. Yes, it is.
Gaylyn: In 20 years, cancer free. Is very powerful and we celebr, we’re celebrating all year. Like it’s Absolutely.
Dorothy: You should.
Gaylyn: Yeah. All year long.
Dorothy: Yeah. Alright. And we’re celebrating with you.
Gaylyn: Thank you.
Post-Credits: Thank you for joining us today on Let’s Talk About Your Breasts. This podcast is produced by Speke Podcasting and brought to you by The Rose. Visit therose.org to learn more about our organization. Subscribe to our podcast. Share episodes with friends and join the conversation on social media using #LetsTalkAboutYourBreasts. We welcome your feedback and suggestions. Consider supporting The Rose. Your gift can make the difference to a person in need. And remember, self-care is not selfish. It’s [00:36:00] essential.
