Dorothy: [00:00:00] Today on Let’s Talk About Your Breasts, we have a really special feature. Mike Hazelrigs is talking with his fiancee, Kathy Stevens, and you’re going to hear why Mike is about To ride, may already be riding, 10,000 miles across the United States to raise money for The Rose and to also raise awareness about breast cancer.
Mike and his fiancee Kathy have really been through an incredible time. They want to share their story and you’ll hear why it’s so important for Mike to raise the money that he wants to raise during this ride.
When you subscribe to our show, you help us grow. Someone you know may need to hear this story. So please, share with your family and friends. And consider supporting our mission. Your donation can help save the life [00:01:00] of an uninsured woman.
Let’s Talk About Your Breast. A different kind of podcast presented to you by The Rose, the Breast Center of Excellence, and a Texas treasure. You’re going to hear frank discussions about tough topics, and you’re going to learn why knowing about your breast could save your life.
So we’re here today to talk about some very practical tips and some other things that anyone who’s dealing with breast cancer may need to know, especially when you’re going through treatment. So Kathy, I want you to start with what was some of the things that you want women to know when you’re having radiation that you really need to pay attention to?
Kathy: With radiation treatments, you can begin burning on the first session and they will possibly say that they don’t think that that’s possible, but it is. Um, I come from a family with a lot of [00:02:00] redheads and I was burnt on the first session. There’s a wonderful cream that you can purchase off the internet. It’s Miaderm and it’s M. I. A. D. E. R. M. And it’s very helpful in removing the burn, uh, because it’s like a bad sunburn whenever you have radiation treatment. And I found it very beneficial.
Dorothy: It just kind of tones it down, takes away some of that heat and sting and all of that. And, and we want to stress that that burn doesn’t last forever.
Kathy: No, it doesn’t. It does fade once your treatments subside.
Dorothy: Yes. So Mike, you were talking about some of the things that are helpful to have or to know about during the recovery phase right after you’ve had surgery, so what did you learn about that time?
Mike: Usually on reconstruction surgery, you’ll have drains and simple things like get a nurse’s smock the the scrub with the snaps up [00:03:00] the front, and you’ll be able to put the drains into the pockets of those and they won’t get caught on everything It’s easy to change in in and out of. They’re Very inexpensive. Also, as you strip the lines for those drains, if you put some hand lotion on your fingers, it, it strips much easier and you don’t get all the clots in them. I think that was—
Dorothy: so when you’re talking drains, you’re talking about drains that come out from under the skin.
Mike: Yes, ma’am.
Dorothy: Into a bag of their own.
Mike: Yeah, they’re, they’re little bulbs.
Dorothy: Mm hmm.
Mike: Mm hmm.
Dorothy: Good, good. And how long do you have to have a drain? And it varies, but—
Mike: It does vary, but I want to say it was about two weeks.
Kathy: I think it was a couple of weeks. Yes. And I couldn’t strip my own drains. So Mike ended up having to do it for me.
Dorothy: So why couldn’t you strip your own?
Kathy: I couldn’t move my arms to where they needed to be. And, [00:04:00] um, I was afraid that I was going to tear the area where the drains exited my body. So, he was very gentle and could maneuver them much more smoothly than I could.
Dorothy: So, are you given any instructions on this drain care before you leave the hospital?
Mike: None. It’s all, it’s all on the run, especially, uh, like taking showers and stuff, you find ways to put a lan— we found a lanyard in her case to hold the drains while you’re in the shower and getting assistance. Uh, showering, if nothing else, you feel so much better after something like that, but there’s not, there doesn’t seem to be a central repository for just those little incidental things that can make a huge difference.
Dorothy: Have another one in mind, Mike?
Mike: Let’s see.
Dorothy: Now, you’re a caregiver. We’ve got to remember that some women might not be real comfortable with their husband or their uh, fiance doing these things. But I think, [00:05:00] after a while, at least what I’ve heard is women are not that concerned anymore. It’s just getting through the treatment.
Mike: And, and I think that goes, uh, the, the, the shame, if you will, or, or modesty or whatever, pretty much you can write that off. I think you can also accept the fact that you’re going to have a morbid sense of humor once all this gets going. If you have a good relationship, um, I think the one pivotal thing for caregiver is to understand that you’re going through this too.
And more than anything, you’ve got to find a way to fill your cup to fill the person going through cancer’s cup. That doesn’t mean you have to be away. You just have to find a way to recharge because you still have all the responsibilities of life for both of you. Um, Our big thing was what can I go get you? Cause I’m not going to cook. I want her to live. Uh, what can I go get you to eat? And so [00:06:00] every day was an adventure of what we could come up with. But for a caregiver, you’re not in this alone. You will feel like it cause nobody ever thinks about the caregivers. It’s always about the patient and, um, realize that the people that have been caregivers before you can help. Um, in that case, I’d say reach out. So.
Dorothy: And Kathy, were you aware that he was needing that kind of help when you were having the treatment?
Kathy: Yes, and we tried to attend as many group meetings as possible so that he had the knowledge and I had the knowledge of what we should expect. And that was helpful.
Dorothy: And that’s a really good point. You know, we support groups are so, so important.
Kathy: Yes.
Dorothy: I, I don’t know if this is everywhere, but at The Rose, our support groups, uh, once they couldn’t meet in person anymore, they just really depended on, you know online things. But I still think there’s nothing like being [00:07:00] in person. Having that—
Kathy: Agreed.
Dorothy: —another person there that’s been through it that’s going to talk. And patients talk about different things and support groups. They’re not Always talking about when my doctor said this it’s about the things you’ve learned.
Kathy: Right. Right. Actually, I found out that I was supposed to be taking calcium as a supplement, but my doctor never recommended it. So, um, and I learned that and I started taking it immediately once someone else in the group said they didn’t tell you that and I said, no, they didn’t. So, um.
Dorothy: Did you run it by your doctor when you started doing it?
Kathy: Yes.
Dorothy: I think that’s important. We want our listeners to be sure they and be sure they’re standing up to their doctors and saying, I understand this will make me feel better, you know. And, and so Kathy, I want you to stay on for just a minute.
Talk to us about what you learned about the insurance challenges when you’re having this, when you’re going through treatment, because [00:08:00] first of all, you don’t feel real good. Second, you’re trying to get your life back together again, and now you’re having to deal with insurance.
Kathy: Yes, ma’am. Um, one of the key things that I found is don’t be in a rush to pay your invoices that are sent to the home, uh, for payment.
It, um, sometimes the insurance company will reject something because it was miscoded or it, um, maybe was never sent in at all for their review, so wait and check your EOBs and ensure that you do owe the money that is being requested. And many times they’ll say this has been turned over to a collection agency.
I’ve had that so many times and I always pay my my bills on time and it has not affected anything. But you have to be certain because I had one company that charged me $3000 and they were not supposed to. And it took [00:09:00] me six months to get my money back. So that’s a rather sizable chunk for someone that’s having to pay for everything else.
Your medications and your parking and your, you know, doctor visits. So it’s important to try to save and keep your money yours as long as you can.
Dorothy: And not be afraid to challenge and not be afraid to research.
Kathy: Right. And sometimes, sometimes you’re not feeling well enough. So just wait to for a day when you have enough energy to clearly, you know, and document, document, document, you must document who you speak with, you know, the date, the time, their name, and then the, uh, just do a recap, a brief recap of what they’ve said, because I’ve had to revert back to those and most of those calls are recorded.
I say, please go back to your recording of X date and they pull it up and they said you are absolutely correct. So that is important.
Dorothy: Good point and you had another really, really important point.
Kathy: Yes, something that I learned [00:10:00] through this process is, um, whenever I sign in for a procedure at a hospital or any type of center that’s going to provide care, I always say I refuse service from any— I refuse services from anyone not in network with XYZ Insurance Company. So, what I find is that your doctor may be approved, but their surgical center may not be. There’s the anesthesiologist, the lab techs, the person that performs biopsies. There are so many people that are involved with the process when you, while you’re under, and many of them are not with, you know, in your network. So just demand that your physicians or anyone with your procedure is covered.
Dorothy: And you know, uh, pathology is a biggie.
Kathy: And pathology.
Dorothy: Because they have to send it to whatever pathology lab.
Kathy: Right.
Dorothy: That you’re [00:11:00] covered with.
Kathy: Right.
Dorothy: Alright, that’s a big expense.
Kathy: And I know that I had, uh, Uh, bill for over $125,000 for an assist— a surgeon’s assistant.
And, uh, my surgeon was covered, but the surgeon assistant was not.
Dorothy: And you challenged it.
Kathy: And that’s, and I challenged it, and I did not have to pay that. So it’s very important.
Dorothy: Any other tip that you’d like to share, Mike.
Mike: I think everybody struggles with how to talk to either a caregiver or somebody going through cancer. And everybody means well. Please don’t ask what you can do. Just do it.
Dorothy: Give me an example.
Mike: I hate using that term, but it’s common for people to think, Okay, I’ll bring a casserole. What do you want to eat? Or something to the house to make it easier. Or maybe we’ll go in with other couples and pay for a housekeeper to come in and clean and stuff.
Um, but then they check with you or they ask what you like to eat or something. Realize that [00:12:00] people going through cancer are wholly consumed with the battle that they’re in. The caregiver is wholly consumed with supporting that person. The last thing they care about is what, whether there’s broccoli in the casserole or not. Just do it. It’s appreciated more than you’ll ever know.
Dorothy: Housekeeping, taking the dog or whoever to the vet, children.
Mike: Pet sitting during surgery.
Dorothy: During surgery. That’s a biggie. Yes. Because it could be hours or it could be overnight or it could be, yes.
Mike: And many times that, that pet is just as much a caregiver as a human person. It’s all important. The whole family’s involved. So.
Dorothy: And friends become family.
Kathy: Absolutely.
Dorothy: So we’re so glad that you share these tips with our with our listeners and I think this is the beginning of something that we may just continue Mike. Um, I appreciate you saying, Why don’t you talk about this and why don’t you talk about that?
Because these are the things people don’t know [00:13:00] and the things we all have questions about. So thank you so much for being the first ones out of the block to give us tips that are needed when you’re going through breast cancer.
Kathy: Our pleasure. Thank you for having us.
Mike: Thank you.
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