Dorothy: [00:00:00] She survived breast cancer and domestic violence. Despite the worst of circumstances, Vanessa Jackson’s spirit remained unbroken. And today we hear her story. Vanessa shares the hurdles she encountered and the support she received from The Rose and from Angels Surviving Cancer. Throughout her experience, Vanessa was guided by her assigned Angel, Marva, who provided emotional support and guidance, helping her to rebuild relationships and learn to advocate for herself.
Vanessa’s story drives home the importance of support systems and the role they play in a breast cancer patient’s life. Please consider sharing this episode with your family and friends at therose.org. Your action may save the life of an uninsured woman.
Let’s Talk About Your Breast a different kind of podcast presented to you by The Rose, the breast center of excellence [00:01:00] and a texas treasure. You’re going to hear frank discussions about tough topics and you’re going to learn why knowing about your breast could save your life.
So wonderful to have you with us here , Vanessa. Thank you for coming in and thank you for being so willing to share your story, which is just a little bit less than a miracle when you, when you think about it. So, when you first came to The Rose, what, 2016, 2017, 2016?
Vanessa: 2016, yes.
Dorothy: Uh, life was very different for you then. So, would you tell us about what was going on with you at that time?
Vanessa: At that time, I had very struggle lifestyle. I was going through, um, uh, uh, domestic violence at that time. And I, I had, [00:02:00] uh, a toddler. Well, he was one, he was one years old. So that, that was the beginning of, you know, meeting The Rose. It was, yeah, it was a lot was going on.
Dorothy: Yeah. Right. Yeah. And you had already left the house.
Vanessa: I did leave. But before I left, I have noticed a, when my son was a baby at the time, I noticed, um, because he was breastfeeding as well. And I was 2015, I had noticed a lump in my left breast. And, um, my doctors, you know, we’re going through fertility stuff, so they were able to look at it, do an ultrasound, and identify it as milk ducks. And then, um, he had term one, so I had, um, Um, pretty much just finished breastfeeding them and just stopped that. And then, uh, 2016, around May-ish, like the summer, uh, I noticed a, I had a a, a pinch, like a strong pain, sharp pain in my [00:03:00] right breast. And immediately I checked it and it was like a little bitty, um, lump.
And so me and my partner at the time, um, we were able to get another ultrasound. No results. And this was in the medical center. Um, we were going to UT at the time. So we, it kept growing, kept growing, and we went back. I don’t, I don’t recall if they ever did a mammogram, but I know I’ve had at least, because I had to get another opinion from another facility, another ultrasound at another facility. I can’t remember the name because my partner set it up at the time. So, No results. So I had at least three results, three tests done before we even identified.
Dorothy: Oh my goodness.
Vanessa: And by the time I got to The Rose, I had, um, left that relationship. I say about, it was September 20—, September of 2016 [00:04:00] to the same year. We were still, you know, I left that relationship and then I ended up, uh, in a domestic violence shelter after living with family for a month. Uh, and they had um, we had a long conversation about my needs and, um, what I was going through. And the last thing I mentioned to them was I need to see a doctor. That was the last thing I mentioned before we, you know, cause everything else was about, everything else was about getting shelter and getting a place to stay. I didn’t really think about that. They had this big lump in my right breast. By the time I was able to identify what it was, it was really be like a golf ball.
And, uh, it was, yeah, it was a lot. And so they say, you know, we had someone before here cause I didn’t have insurance. And they said, we had someone here who had cancer. Cancer was, it came to mind the first time, but not exactly. It was the last thing on my mind, you know? [00:05:00] So I went to The Rose, no insurance, and that’s how, you know, I was able to identify what was wrong? But I think it took two visits because I had to do a biopsy. I don’t, I don’t remember. I believe they did a mammogram. I think they did the mammogram. No one else wanted to do it because I was the age of 2—, 29.
Dorothy: Oh, that’s young.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Dorothy: Yeah. And mammograms are not usually done on younger women until you really think there’s something going on. So—
Vanessa: Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. So that’s, that’s how I learned. That got started, but I, I, uh, I had, even when, um, Chris came to me and told me in the second visit that, uh, it was cancer, I didn’t have time at that time to process it.
Dorothy: Well, you had a few things going on now. Yes. Yes.
Vanessa: And I didn’t know how extreme it was. I [00:06:00] think she said it was a stage, almost stage four. That’s just what I remember. I’m not really sure, but that’s what I remember, and um, it didn’t, didn’t really register, uh, right away, un— until treatment started. It took a long time to get treatment done. So as I’m waiting to find a doctor, it just kept going.
For some reason, it felt like it became aggressive once we identified it. It just, I’ve started to feel different than I did when I would just rip and run. And I’m trying to handle all my business and get everything done and get shelter. That was the only thing I cared about because I was in the shelter and I needed a place for my kids. And all of a sudden I just, I just didn’t feel like I could keep doing that. I had to stop, had to slow down. And, uh—
Dorothy: [00:07:00] It is so fascinating. It’s as though your body said, Okay, now we’ve got to take care of Vanessa.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Dorothy: You’ve got the kids somewhere, and you’ve got you somewhere, and, you know, you’re out of a bad situation, and now, pay attention here.
We’re going to have to do something different.
Vanessa: Different, yeah.
Dorothy: That is, uh, very interesting, Vanessa. I’ve never heard anyone quite describe it like that.
Vanessa: Mm hmm. Yeah. Uh, it’s, it’s, um, I, I was, to me, I was young and—
Dorothy: You were!
Vanessa: You know, I just, I’m used to taking care of things myself. Even when I had my partner, it was just not always in front of everything. I like to make decisions and make choices. I like to get things done. And for some reason, um, even with the, the cancer diagnosis. I still felt like I needed to get something done even with [00:08:00] that because I, I, I wanted to wait, but then it was like, it didn’t make sense to do that. It didn’t make sense because I was in a space where I had all of these, uh, access to things that I had a hard time getting, uh, before, you know, uh, doctors, um, I was able to get insurance, you know, uh, it was little things like that that was coming to me. I was able to get protection. You know, there’s a lot of things that I needed that I couldn’t get by myself. So I had to surrender.
Dorothy: Ooh.
Vanessa: And, uh, and, and—
Dorothy: Tough world, world to—
Vanessa: Yeah.
Dorothy: —For an independent woman who’s been, been carrying it so long.
Vanessa: Mm hmm. Yeah. It was, uh, it was, it was different. It was a different space, uh, for me.
And I, I felt away because I had just left a bad situation. I fly and got into another situation. And you know, a lot of times we fought ourselves, [00:09:00] you know, it’s like, you know, what, what did I do?
Dorothy: Oh yes.
Vanessa: To, to get here. I was here. I felt like I was responsible for that. And I’m responsible for this. So it’s like, everything was going on in my head at once. And uh, next thing you know after the diagnosis I get a phone call, random number. Now I’m ripping and running. They trying to catch me, get a hold of me. So I think I missed the call and uh, I finally decided to answer my phone. It was uh, Ms. Janice. I’m doing with Miss Janice and you know, you know, we’re from The Ro— I mean, we’re from Angels Surviving Cancer. The Rose, um, told us about your diagnosis and, um, I was like, okay, you know, sure. You know, we can meet up and have lunch. And, um, we talked about what it would look like going forward with them. And, um, this, that process, it, it, it kind of felt like it happened really fast.[00:10:00]
But my illness was also speeding up on me as well. And I, um, that was the beginning of just me having to, because I guess I was getting assistance from the shelter. They, when, when I found out about my diagnosis, they had created a space for me. to recover there.
Dorothy: Oh.
Vanessa: So, um, it wasn’t, okay, well, we’re going to send you somewhere or they say, you know, you can stay here and recover here.
Dorothy: That was good.
Vanessa: Yeah. Yeah. Um, I didn’t know how that was going to work, but there were a lot of accommodations for someone because there was a patient before me and in the shelter. Um, And with it being domestic violence related, you know, it’s, it’s completely, um, you know, we can’t really name the shelter, [00:11:00] but, um, they just, it just became like a family thing.
So I had support there and then I had someone come in from the outside. So it kind of made, it kind of, it felt real, it became real for me because this was a disease that was going to eventually take me down and that didn’t click to me until once I started treatment. Uh, but I just, it was a different, you know, time in my life where it’s like, okay, what do I do?
And then my little kids, I think my daughter was maybe six or seven. My son was three, four. I had a lot going on in the shelter. And then I had to figure out how to get access with everything that was on the outside. Because, you know, it was a private shelter, so we couldn’t really get No, no one could really come near and make, you know.
Dorothy: So, yeah, you had to go out from there. And that was a safe space.
Vanessa: It was a safe space.
Dorothy: And [00:12:00] after all that you’d been through, that had to be a real challenge just to even leave.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Dorothy: Even go out.
Vanessa: You know, um, a month in, there was a house, they had a house for me. This was before I got diagnosed. And. They end up, it was an obvious pay, a couple of, uh, maybe two bedroom, they end up giving it to somebody else.
So when I, when I think back on it now, I feel like, you know, God, God stepped in. I wanted that house. I wanted to leave. I wanted to, you know, that wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted me to be in a community. He wanted me to be in a, uh, he wanted me to be in a position where I will, um, need, you know, for once lean on him.
So it was going to get comfortable. It’s going to be very uncomfortable.
Dorothy: Oh!
Vanessa: And I was, um, uncomfortable until I realized, okay, let me just stay still. [00:13:00] Let me stay here. Let me just work through, you know, what I have to work through. Cause I can’t really just, you know, I don’t want to put my family too much and that they will help me. They will help me, um, when I really needed the help. Uh, it took me six months to get, um, treatment. So June of 17, that’s when, um, also when Angels Surviving Cancer, um, uh, they celebrated me and the kids. You know, um, so I became an honorary with them. Um, Ms. Marva was, you know, with Ms. Jan’s when we met. So it was, she just kind of, uh, they decided that she would be the, they, they decided she’d be the one to kind of, kind of help me out. I didn’t know what that was going to look like. It just, [00:14:00] it was a different experience. It’s having someone.
Dorothy: So for our listeners, um, And I, and I have to share this story, Vanessa, you know, when I met you, and of course we all were rooting for you and you’d become a little bit of a celebrity around here because we couldn’t imagine all that you were having to go through, then get a diagnosis of breast cancer.
But I remember thinking, Vanessa is going to need a real miracle to get her all the way out of this, you know, you were in a really tough spot.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Dorothy: And then the Angels Surviving Cancer came in, you know, our, our employee Chris Noble connected— made the connection, but Janice is the executive director, right?
Vanessa: Yes.
Dorothy: She’s over that program. And then your assigned Angel— I mean, wouldn’t we all love to have an Angel when we’re in a tough spot? Your assigned Angel was [00:15:00] Marva?
Vanessa: Yes. Yes.
Dorothy: So, uh, so did she check on you daily, weekly, every now and then?
Vanessa: You know what? Um, Ms. Marva is, you know, I really didn’t understand it before. I’m like, she, she always called. And, um, She just call and see how I was doing. I don’t remember ever having anyone do that before. So I was like, okay, you know, I’m in compliance with her. Uh, I didn’t know that we were going to connect and become family. So, um, next, you know, um, I couldn’t get to a doctor because of the transportation, the shelter, you know, there was, uh, some issues with me because I, like I say, became aggressive and I’ve seen more doctors than, than I would have liked to.
Um, [00:16:00] so she took me on my first appointment and, you know, we just talked and, um, hit it off instantly and it was like, um, you know, like I said, like an Angel just coming in and just, You know, and I’m like, you know, you don’t know me, you know, I don’t know you so we’re getting to know each other we’re just you know, um, and I was a little because I’m a shy at first and I’m like, I don’t do a lot of talking and That’s it with this— that could that— that relationship was build— Just you know, it wasn’t no pressure You know, she didn’t make me do anything. Or it was not forced. No, I think it was just like, you know, instantly. And then, um, next to, you know, she, my kids need to go to the doctor. So she met them. Uh, you know, like I said, this was after, um, on the river, but we would, you know, they was like, okay, sit in the car. Okay, you know, I don’t know. They used to, you know, being transported somewhere.
So I think to them, that’s what it was. And, uh, you know, we started to see her more and more and she just kept, she just stayed in touch. [00:17:00] And then, you know, I’m like, okay, you know, um, I, I started calling her and, and, and, and, uh, needing advice. I needed a lot of advice because I was, uh, I did not have anyone teach me how to be a woman.
I didn’t have, uh, that.
Dorothy: Tell me more about that.
Vanessa: I learned a lot about how to navigate through life. Uh, my mother was in his position to teach me that, you know, how to, you know, just just navigate. And, and, you know, even the advice she’s giving me about, uh, my Children and, you know, the things that she’s noticed about me and, uh, even the compliments, uh, about, you know, how much, how strong I am through all of this.
I never really had anyone just come in and, uh, And just step in and she just stepped in [00:18:00] like, you know, she really stepped in like a parent and so, um. That was different for me. It was different because I learned about um I officially learned how to drive I drove her van or her suv Uh, you know when I was wanting to get my license and so, uh. And I had my sister for that too, you know, her and her husband, we worked on that.
So I learned how to drive, um, doing that process. This was during, this is right, you know, during treatment. I was learning how to drive so I can get my license. Um, I was also— how to talk to people when I want something, how to advocate for myself. Um, she always tell me, you know, you gotta, you gotta speak up. So I said—
Dorothy: Such good advice.
Vanessa: I didn’t know. And, um, I just became a little woman, you know, just learned how to, you know, even though I was old enough [00:19:00] and I had my kids, uh, I had, I still had, you know, I still was trying to function as an adult and, and learn how to, how to live in this life and that things happen.
But it’s okay. You are gonna be okay because, uh, she saw the strength in me and, um, the potential and I wasn’t sure I had that. So, that’s what she did for me and my children. They love her. My son, yeah, I want to see more of her. I want to see more of her. So, they, you know, we become like a real family, you know.
And I can call her. I even check on her. I’ve offered to come, you know, take her around if she need me to drive her somewhere. You know, uh, you know, things like that. We, we can laugh. We can joke together. We can just sit down and just talk. And, um, and, and, you know, not, you know, we, we cried together and, you know, she see me in my worst and I was really going through stuff.
[00:20:00] So, um, that’s what having her means to me. And because of that, I know how to have like real healthy relationships with my family. Cause I had to replenish those relationships because of the situation I was in before cancer. Uh, They didn’t realize how extreme my illness was. Um, and I had to communicate that to them.
I had to repair relationships with them. So, she helped me do that. I talked to my family about how I felt and actually be intentional. So, um, God was in the midst of all of this. He used her to, you know, get me where I am right now.
Dorothy: Oh, Vanessa, that is so profoundly wise. I mean, look at all you know now. Many people go through life without ever having first a [00:21:00] mentor like, like you’ve had. And second, you know, just to realize that part of you that needed to do those things and had to have the courage to do it.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Dorothy: It’s hard to make amends or replenish. I love that word.
Vanessa: Yes.
Dorothy: When it’s your own family.
Vanessa: Mm hmm.
Dorothy: That’s hard.
Vanessa: Mm. I know. Yeah. I know.
Dorothy: But you have, now you’re, you’re not still in treatment. You’re done with treatment.
Vanessa: Um, well, I’m, I’m not in treatment. Um. I was able to, I stayed in shelter for two years, recovering. So I had my, I had my surgery there. I really, I know some women who was there for me, um, there in shelter as well, who, who saw me.
I wasn’t sure I was really gonna make it at times because, [00:22:00] um, I was so sick. And then Next one thing, next, you know, I’m really, I’m feeling really good. So, um, I took treatment really hard. I had a bad reaction to chemo. So they had to give me anesthesia every, from before every dose. And sometimes I still have a reaction to it.
There were times where I was ill. Cause I kept getting bronchitis cause I was in a shelter and they, they wanted to keep me from getting sick, but it was, it was impossible. I was sick.
Dorothy: Yeah.
Vanessa: All the time.
Dorothy: Your immune system’s down.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Dorothy: You’ve gone through so much anyway.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Dorothy: There’s, you know—
Vanessa: It was, it was hard to stay ill. Um, there were times where, um, I was have treatment one time and, um, I knew I was sick, but I told myself I would go to treatment ’cause I wanna, I don’t wanna miss another—
Dorothy: Mm-Hmm.
Vanessa: —dose. ’cause sometimes I had to miss ’cause of my blood count kept going down. So, um. They told me, I said, you know, can you check my temperature? I knew I was, I already knew cause my body, I’m, I’m gotten used [00:23:00] to knowing my body. And, um, they say, you know, you had 104 fever and we cannot release you from, from, we have to admit you. I’m in Pasadena. My kids is, um, they’re not in this area.
Dorothy: Right.
Vanessa: And, um, I had, I had to promise them I would admit myself in another facility because I had to make arrangements for my kids. They mentioned, uh, when I called the, the shelter, I had to be there at a certain time because they were gonna, um, call Child Protective Service. So I had to kind of sacrifice a lot to, I had to have them somewhere. And we were able to do that. But they had, they had let me go because they took my word for it.
Um, my nurse was amazing, Bayshore Hospital. She did great with, you would, you know, take care of me with, with chemo. And, um, that, that was hard because I’m thinking to myself, you [00:24:00] know, this is not a normal situation to be in. Um, I had to figure out ways to, I had to find people I can trust in shelter, and I had my sister who kept them for days at a time while I get admitted. It’s like, you know, it’s not a good, it wasn’t a good time, but I went through that for two years, and I survived it. And then, um, I got my place in, uh, 2018. And my, my second apartment, every goal I had, I had— I was able to meet those goals. I still had to.
Dorothy: And how did you go to set up those goals? Was that?
Vanessa: I had a case manager.
Dorothy: Oh, who helped you?
Vanessa: Who was also amazing. She really stayed, you know, intact with me. We had to have that relationship. And they, they understood how serious my situation was. But I also had, I had to get up, like if, [00:25:00] you know, the latest, the longest I stay in bed is maybe two days. And then I just get up. So God say, Hey, it’s time to make some things happen. I have been, I’ve had to go out here and there ill. We wrote these goals down. I did my part. and the case manager did her part and we came together and we were able to to, you know, and I said when I needed something outside had Miss Marva to kind of help steer some of those goals as well.
So I had a team of people. I didn’t know this at the time. It didn’t, didn’t come to me that I had a village that I was creating for myself. God was creating this village for me. He was letting me know who he wanted, who I could trust to come in and make me, um, first of all, get me healthy, get me back on my feet, and then also what would life look like when I left my other family, which is the shelter I was in, because I was [00:26:00] deaf for so long, I’ve seen so much bad and good, I didn’t know I couldn’t even live life outside of that because I have my community here as well, and I’ve been able to do that since 2018, and I went to school and did some stuff when I got, you know, but right when COVID hit, I couldn’t use my certification to go to work.
But, uh, and then, you know, cause the COVID and then, uh, next thing you know, I noticed, uh, something said “check”. I noticed a lump in my right breast, the same breast, cause I had a lump back to me the first time. They were able to shrink it. They had to shrink it real small and remove that. And then, um, that, that lump came back in the, in the right, on the right side in 2020. Of, um—
Dorothy: Oh, what a horrible time.
Vanessa: Yeah. So, I didn’t think it was possible, right? Yeah. Um, because of [00:27:00] COVID, it took, I noticed in April, it took about a month or two to remove them. To get, to get to the doctor.
Dorothy: Oh yeah.
Vanessa: To, to schedule because they wasn’t letting anyone come in and—
Dorothy: Mm-Hmm.
Vanessa: Um, if I hadn’t been vigilant, you know, who knows? Um—
Dorothy: Again, being your own advocate.
Vanessa: Mm-Hmm. Because I learned how to—
Dorothy: Standing up. Yeah.
Vanessa: Yeah. I was learning how to do that. Yeah. Um, so—
Dorothy: So your treatment for that?
Vanessa: It was a, a short treatment, but we had emergency surgery in June, um, of 2020. And then. We did a couple of rounds of chemo, and, um, it was, it was different from the first time. But I was, I was, you know, I was out and about and I, you know, I had to kind of, cause I’m used, I got used to kind of navigating and doing my own thing, but I still had Ms. Marva. Um, so she, [00:28:00] she has, uh, sacrificed a lot. You know, she’s getting, putting a lot of time, you know, uh, doing things for me on my behalf. Cause if, if, you know, I would do it myself. I mean, she, she would tell me not to do that, especially after surgery. Uh, I was just used to, I was, you know, I didn’t want her to, to, to do too much, but she, that’s just who she is.
She would do, go, uh, above and beyond, uh, to make sure that. I didn’t lift anything and, and, um, do too much, you know, the outside of the scope of my, you know, treatment. So that was, um, it was a little hard because the situation was different. It was just a different experience. And I thought about giving up at least once during that treatment.
Right. Um, it’s not something, it’s not, you know, because I have my kids, they’re [00:29:00] the only reason why I probably went through the whole thing. But because the situation was kind of, it was a little bit of strain. And, um, I had to, you know, I still had to be a parent. I still had to, um, provide, you know, meals and things like that. Sometimes you don’t want to get out of bed. I still had to do that because I was out on my own, you know? Um, so it was, it was, it was a little bit, I think it was just maybe just like my, my mind. I’m just probably just tired of the process of just treatments and doctors and surgeries. And I just had, I had a moment.
At the moment, and so I picked myself back up and said, You know what, you got what, one, two more treatments left. You know, just do what you have to do. You already went through the hard part. So, um, I was [00:30:00] wondering, um, why, why God, you know, and I, I’ve been telling people the last couple of months, he’s preparing me for something. And this is one of them. So when, I don’t know how, how, I don’t know.
Dorothy: Oh Vanessa, your story will inspire anyone. I mean seriously, even, even saying there was a time you were ready to give up.
Vanessa: Yeah.
Dorothy: You, you have such a road ahead of you. And I know so many people are going to benefit just from, just from hearing your story and the, and all the things that, that you faced, but we are so delighted that you have come back to us and in this way to help, to help us tell women the things that they need to hear that are hard and the things you can go through that, that really do require some help, even when you’re used to. Doing it all by [00:31:00] yourself.
So thank you for being with us today. So appreciate it. I think we’re going to have to have you back, because I want to know where you are in a couple of other years. That would be great.
Vanessa: Thank you.
Post-Credits: Thank you for joining us today on Let’s Talk About Your Breasts. This podcast is produced by Speke Podcasting and brought to you by The Rose. Visit therose.org to learn more about our organization. Subscribe to our podcast, share episodes with friends and join the conversation on social media using #Let’sTalkAboutYourBreasts. We welcome your feedback and suggestions. Consider supporting The Rose. Your gift can make the difference to a person in need.
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