Dorothy: [00:00:00] Mona Ellakany lost her mother and her husband in one year. In fact, she lost them three weeks apart. Mona’s new reality left her with some difficult choices. Her first one was whether or not to stay in America or to move back home to Egypt. She chose America, and in 2021, Mona was diagnosed with breast cancer.
During this powerful episode, she shares her story of struggle, her breast cancer experience, and all the ways her community, her superpower of women, rallied together to support her and her children. Mona is this year’s honoree at Hats and Henna High Tea. It’s going to be held on May 5th at the Junior League of Houston, and to learn more about Mona and about this event, go to therose.org.
When you subscribe to our show, you help us grow. Someone you know may need to hear this story. So please, share with your family and friends. And consider supporting our [00:01:00] mission. Your donation can help save the life of an uninsured woman.
Let’s Talk About Your Breast. A different kind of podcast presented to you by The Rose, the Breast Center of Excellence and a Texas treasure. You’re going to hear frank discussions about tough topics, and you’re going to learn why knowing about your breast could save your life.
Mona, welcome to our program. Thank you so much for being with us today.
Mona: Thank you so much, Dorothy, for having me.
Dorothy: Oh, of course, of course. So you have such an interesting story that you will be sharing at the Hats and Henna High Tea, and congratulations on being an honoree.
Mona: Thank you.
Dorothy: We’re so, so pleased that you’re going to be there. You’re a professional career woman. You have— you are a pharmacist. Very well versed in the world of medicine.
Mona: Yes.
Dorothy: When it comes to [00:02:00] medicine, drugs.
Mona: Yes.
Dorothy: But you were diagnosed at a fairly young age with breast cancer. But tell us about those two or three years leading up to your diagnosis.
Mona: Um, it was like a quite tough times. Like, you know, like the breast cancer news, it It wasn’t one of the expected things you’d like to hear. Uh, unfortunately, in 2019, uh, in April, I lost my mom to a brain tumor. And then, uh, three weeks after that, in, in, in May, uh, I lost my husband to a heart attack. It was like, you know, both of them, like, it was like, all of a sudden, death happens and it took me time to process and to live the world without having both of them because they were like so close.
I was the oldest of my siblings and I was so close to my mom. I used to talk to her. She’s in Egypt. I’m originally from Egypt and we used to talk to [00:03:00] each other pretty much like daily. So losing her in, um, in the middle of that, losing my husband too, um, it’s everything like changed. Like it never came back. So yeah.
Dorothy: And the husband was very unexpected.
Mona: Yeah, like it was on Mother’s Day in 2019. Uh, he woke up and he was talking to us. I was preparing lunch and all of a sudden my, my, uh, my son, my oldest, he was like, Oh, mommy, uh, my dad is like lying on the floor. I was like, what is happening? And he was like, I don’t know. He doesn’t respond. And I, uh, headed up to the— So the place that he was like, you know, lying on the floor and I was like, you know, he’s not responding. So I didn’t know what to do. I knocked the door on my neighbors to help me out, uh, for, um, luckily he was a doctor. So he was like, you know, try to help me doing a CPR and the same time he was calling 911 because I was in shock.
Like I couldn’t like even think and even like the kids were [00:04:00] witnessing that. I had his wife taking the kids from me because, you know, like they’re not. supposed to see, but like I couldn’t think. And then, you know, by 911 came and, uh, they tried to rescue him and the, uh, transferred him to the hospital— my hospital, that I work with in the ER in my hospital.
Um, he didn’t make it like by the time, like, you know, I arrived after the ambulance took him. He just told me the news, like it just like he’s gone. And I was, I don’t know. Um, in the beginning, it’s denial. You cannot believe like, you know, your partner for like over 15 years has gone and um, I had to go back to Egypt to the funeral.
This is what his family requested. And I was like, you know, living in my dad’s house, uh, at this time. So there is no mom. My, uh, my house turned on a funeral house. Like people comes and goes, it’s like, you know, um, for six, uh, weeks. And, um, [00:05:00] finishing paperwork and stuff, you know, I’m, I’m becoming a widow. I had to change even like my Egyptian ID from married to a widow.
This is what we have because the socialist status has to be written in there. So it was, it was tough. It was tough for the kids and uh, yeah, I decided to go back after that and I told my dad and my siblings that I, uh, I’m going back. I’m taking the kids like after the funeral and everything with the paperwork. I told them I’m coming back to the way it is to raise my kids.
Dorothy: But that had to be a difficult decision for you.
Mona: It was, but, uh, at this time I was thinking of what is the best for my kids interest. I wasn’t looking for me because if I choose me, I will remain in Egypt. Of course, I’m going to have my family around me. My friends, the country I grew up with is gonna be more safe and secure, but I was like, look at the kids. I have like three and they [00:06:00] are like born and raised in here and it’s just gonna take them from the roots and coming. Plus, you know, with my culture looking at orphans, I don’t want my kids experience that in there.
I don’t want to— Pity. Or like, people look at them in a sad way. I don’t want to have that even for me being a widow also in my culture is like kind of tough. It’s not easy. And I feel like you know what, I have my job. I work so hard to get it and have my license. I work in a very good hospital and the kids are in a good schools. So it was it was. I’m going. It is just a decision.
I’m not like even asking anybody. It is just me. I’m going back and even like the ticket were booked already. The return ticket were booked before even we traveled to Egypt.
Dorothy: Oh, you, you were determined.
Mona: So I was having everything, yes. Yes. No matter because sometimes it’s just, it is tough, but you have to take decisions. So and this is [00:07:00] since then, like my, my, my tough decisions started, you know, it just like has a series of decision, but like you have to take it or see in order like to survive and the kids surviving here, I have to make it.
Dorothy: How old were your children then?
Mona: Uh, the oldest, I think he was 13, and then I was having 9 and 8.
Dorothy: So they were really pretty young.
Mona: They, yeah, yeah, by the time, like, you know, I, uh, I remember my, uh, my oldest, Mazin, he was like, um, he was, he was kind of, like, scared from the beginning, and he was like, oh, mommy, I can work and help you. And he was like, no, I don’t want that. I want just like to focus on your grades, go to good high school. That’s what I want from you. Don’t worry about like working or anything. And then later when we came back, of course, like, you know, I’m, I’m, I’m coming from the Middle East. I depend on my husband a lot. Meaning some, some silly stuff. I don’t know. Even like changing batteries of the remote of the gate. I don’t know what to [00:08:00] do with that.
Uh, it’s changing something, but that can be something, something. It’s just I was frustrated at the beginning. I was like Googling stuff, and I had like one day I still remember this day. It was I was Googling something to fix it. And my my oldest, he was looking at me. It’s like, Mommy, our life is not the same anymore, like in a sad way. And I was like, No, I’m learning. And as long as we’re here together and we’re doing it, it should be fine. It’s just like, give me time. I’m learning that stuff. And here, here I am, Dorothy. I’m learning so
Dorothy: much. Oh, yes. Now, we’re talking 2019?
Mona: Yes, 2019 when, uh, when I lost my mom and my husband. Yes.
Dorothy: Okay, so now we’re going to fast forward a couple of years.
Mona: Yeah.
Dorothy: When were you diagnosed with breast cancer?
Mona: In 2021.
Dorothy: Okay, so we’re past COVID.
Mona: Yes.
Dorothy: But we’re still in that kind of COVID thinking.
Mona: But we’re still in like, in the vaccine area.
Dorothy: Yes, yes.
Mona: You know, like, after, after the COVID, And, uh, they’re discovering the vaccine and working in a hospital and a healthcare, it [00:09:00] was a lot of on us as a pharmacist. Meaning like dispensing and giving the vaccine and counting because everything is like, like gold at this time. Like, you know how the availability and everything was COVID. And we used to spend like a lot of hours in the hospital just like to cover as much patient as we can. Everybody want to get the vaccine. And when we started with the, you know, the elderly and the immune compromise, we have a very huge population in here, you know, and it’s a big hospital. So it was kind of like tough days and add to that, like the kids around this time. Also, they’re still like doing a school from home. So it, it, it was, it was kind of tough time, like tough time, meaning I wasn’t able like to take an actual vacation. And if like people like me. the staying home, you know, even, you know, like in 2021, there’s still people like slightly start to get out and travel and stuff. And I was like, you know, I’m still in the hospital working because they need us.
Dorothy: Yes.
Mona: Um, [00:10:00] so it, it, that, that this two years after, uh, Uh, him pass away. It just, it was difficult meaning, because you know, a few months and COVID hits and everything also like upside down with us. It’s not like adding the loss of your beloved one.
It just also like the isolation from COVID. So it was me and the kids and pretty much like everybody else, like life is getting different. And then like, I got lost. I was having a checkup appointment, um, that I do every year and here I am. I’m turning 40. And the doctor is giving me like the order for the mammogram.
And I told her, okay, so I took it, but I never done it. The, my first ever mammogram, I was like, okay, you know, I don’t have a history. I don’t have anybody. I was like, I wasn’t concerned. Like my dad’s side, he has like, um, um, my aunts and uncles has, Other different kind of, uh, cancer, like kidney, um, a call on some breast— no, I was like, okay, I’ll just like put it on the side and just like, [00:11:00] okay. And then like few, um, months after that, I started like feeling a lump on my right breast. And also I wasn’t concerned because. I have a dense breast tissue and I was like, Oh, maybe it’s hormones, you know, like around this time, how stressful life is and your, um, and anxiety is obvious.
Like you’re dealing with kids and dealing with your work and you’re exhausted and it’s like nonstop life, like nonstop. Like I don’t have any time for myself. Just like, imagine I didn’t go do this mammogram because I don’t have time to book a schedule. It’s just like, okay, let’s put it aside. Um, and then, I felt like, okay, but this lump doesn’t go away.
So let me, you know, okay, let me go, uh, schedule an appointment to the primary care. And I wasn’t even like serious. Okay, let’s give it a try. And I went to that day and she looked at me and she examined me and she said, no, maybe this is like a fluid accumulation or, uh, Uh, cyst or something. Don’t get worry, but like again, take [00:12:00] the, the order and do it.
And I was like, okay. So surprisingly, like living in a medical center here in Houston, I, um, I don’t know, took up to four, six weeks. I cannot remember. It’s like a long wait list to get this mammogram and I don’t know what happened. But anyway, I went and I, uh, for my first time to get the mammogram, I was scheduled at eight o’clock in the morning and I was off this day from work, but I, uh, had to go to take a test, something like for a requirement for like, you know, promotion or something that I need to take.
And I had it scheduled. I think it’s around 11 o’clock in the morning. So I was like, okay, it’s perfect. One hour, you know, the test and the mammogram, and then I will go. Uh, so, uh, when I went to when they asked me, Hey, you know, do you have any lump? Do you feel anything else is like, yeah, and then, oh, so we need to change in the mammogram from, um, a checkup to a diagnostic.
And this is like, I didn’t even know this [00:13:00] term. And I was like, okay, what does it mean? And they said, no, it’s for protocol is required. So to have a mammogram and an ultrasound. This is in case you are feeling something. So this is the first time also like knowing that and you said, Oh, we can reschedule you, uh, for another time because we need to fit you in a schedule for an ultrasound.
And I was like, can you do something? And he said, okay, if you don’t mind waiting. We will call the insurance and get the approval, and then we’re going to squeeze you in. And I was like, okay, I can wait. I don’t want to come back. So I waited, and luckily they were able to process the paperwork and got the approval from the insurance, and, um, I got in.
I did in the beginning the mammogram and then I waited, uh, for the ultrasound. So I remember the lady, she was doing my ultrasound, she keep back and forth in specific areas on my breast, my right breast and, you know, pressure a little bit and come [00:14:00] back and then like she started asking me questions, oh, and she was like, oh, do you have kids?
I told her, yeah, I have three. But like in a tone, like, you know, it’s kind of like suspicious to me. I was like, Oh, how old are your kids? Do you have anybody here? And then I started like to get worried. And then like all of the sudden she was like, okay, can you hold it for a second? I need to get the doctor.
And she was like, pretty much like hurried, opening the door. grabbed the doctor and the doctor came and she was like also moving the double or whatever this is around certain areas, the exact same areas until she finished. And then, uh, she looked me in the eye and she said, okay, I can see three suspicious masses in your right breast and we need to, to do an ultrasound ASAP.
And I was like looking into her losses. This is—
Dorothy: to do an ultrasound or a biopsy?
Mona: Sorry, a biopsy for the three areas. And, um, like this, like really? And she said yes. And she was like, Oh, how, uh, how, [00:15:00] how was your availability in your work schedule? I told her like, whatever, like, I will free up, this is getting serious.
I will free up my appointments. And, um, she said, okay, we can, if we can get the approval from the insurance, are you okay waiting today? I was like, yes, I’m not leaving. So, and she said, okay, just like, okay, again, go to the waiting area. And, um, if you’re hungry, there is a cafeteria because it’s getting closer to, uh, the lunchtime.
And, uh, she said, uh, if you are hungry, go to the cafeteria, there is food and we will call you, you know, like when it’s your turn. So. Um, I, uh, I got out and I had to make a phone call for the hospital that I cannot attend, uh, today and I called my supervisor and I called her, I told her like, um, I have something came up.
I was doing a mammogram and they found something right now and I need to do a biopsy. And then like I started like, you know, crying and, uh, she told me, no, no worries. You’re still young. You know, like I don’t think it’s something serious. This is [00:16:00] like a routine. So I, um. I canceled whatever I was having in the hospital and I waited in a, in a waiting area.
I couldn’t eat anything. I was like, you know, I don’t know what to, who, who to take us. I just texted my sister, uh, she’s in Egypt also, and I was like, okay, I’m waiting. I have something in my breast. I don’t know. And, um, I didn’t take us to my friends because I know like they’re going to freak out, you know?
And it’s— it’s so early to tell, uh, luckily we got everything and they were able to do the biopsy, the three areas. And after that, uh, they asked me for another mammogram to do. I, um, I went again to do this, uh, second mammogram and all of a sudden I fainted. I found myself on the floor. I don’t know like the anesthesia. Or me not eating the whole day. So one second. I was like taking the mammogram and other second I was on the ground and the nurses like around me trying to, you know—
Dorothy: Mm-Hmm, rouse, you. Yes.
Mona: Yeah. And I was like, you know, I was, I was like, am I still dreaming or this [00:17:00] is real? And then it, it is still real, Dorothy. And I was like, oh my God, I’m in, I’m in this. I am in this. And, um, they asked me if you have any company. And I told them no, because I wasn’t expected this. This is going to happen. This is going to be my day. And, uh, Oh, do you want to call somebody? I told them, no, just like give me five minutes. I will be fine to drive home. And I did. I, uh, I went home and I went silent and I don’t know what to do or who to take a stand.
And I was like, you know, and then later in this evening, I, um, texted one of my friends. She’s an oncology pharmacist. And I tell her, Hey, this is what I did. And she says, Mona, are you serious? And, um, I asked her here if she can show this to her husband. He’s a radiology oncology too. And he show it to, um, another friend and, uh, she said, okay, Mona, we don’t want to jump into something, but it might be something, but like we need to see the biopsy because, um, a day after the, the [00:18:00] ultrasound, uh, initial reported show, Oh, it says suspicious for malignancy.
So see that word, the malignancies, like my heart was sinking and I was like, Oh my God. And I called another friend and she said, Mona, you don’t want to have this in your life. And I was like, I was mad in the beginning. I was like, why am I, I was—
Dorothy: Why. Of course.
Mona: Like, I, this was my initial response. I was so upset and angry. I was like, I already have enough in my life. You know, uh, but again, a few days after that, I got the phone call from the clinic that is cancer. And we need to schedule you an oncology because you need to be under someone to start the treatment. And I called my friends and, um, one of them, like, she wasn’t working. She was off that day and she told me, Mona, I’m coming. You cannot be alone, uh, today. I need you to come out with me and go out and we need to talk. And then all of a sudden my life is changed from like just taking care of me and myself and surviving. Because I was on [00:19:00] surviving mode, I was still in the surviving mode, and she, um, was talking to me about, you know, do you have a will? Do you have a trust? Are you arranging your financial paperwork with the kids? And I was like, no.
I never thought of that. And she was like, you should, your kids are still minor. You don’t have anybody here. You need to appoint a guardian. You need to do this. And I was like, another terminology is like coming in my life that I don’t know. I didn’t think about it. You know what I mean? And they were like, you know, step by step.
So one, uh, uh, one arm I’m doing all the appointment to the scans. I was like, CT scan, bone scan, MRI. I never done this in my life. I was a healthy person. And at the same time, you need to do this for your kids. You need to do this. I need to tell my, uh, my, uh, my siblings and my dad in Egypt, what is happening.
I still have my job. I just, I need to sit my registry. It was a lot. Um, [00:20:00] but what make it survivable for me and, and, and I, I can take the initial steps into it is my friends. They show up out of nowhere. They, uh, get together. Uh, one of them— I froze—, this is, she’s my sister, she’s not my blood, but I swear to God, she’s like as close to my sister to me during this whole thing, even before my diagnosis, since my husband passed away, um, she, um, organized like a WhatsApp group and she added all my female co workers and hey, this is what Mona’s having right now and we need to be with her around this time.
So I cannot tell you. What was the responses for everybody? You know, like everybody genuinely contributed to that in a way like I wasn’t feeling I was missing anything like there is somebody like who are the family giver. Checks on me and my kids. And it’s still are. I’m talking past and I’m talking [00:21:00] present. Present. This people is still in my life as the first day checking on me checking my kids. Do you have food or not? How you feeling today? Do you need anything? We can come to you how you’re feeling emotionally, not only physically. And one of them is like, okay, we’re gonna arrange like a meal train.
We need to make sure that you are having food because you cannot cook right now. What is your appetite? What is your kid’s appetite? Like, it’s the small details, Dorothy. And one is like, you know, like coming with essential oils. It was like, okay, not, you need to have this aroma therapy. And the other one is coming. I’m going to do that schedule for you with the treatment and the drugs and what you need and the questions for the next time, uh, for the, for the doctor. And the other one is following up with me with work, you know, because my schedule is up in the air and I need to take a break and so. So, um, every one of them was giving me something. It’s, it’s just like, Oh, let us know what you need. No, they [00:22:00] were jumping and giving me what I need.
Dorothy: So they didn’t ask you, they just did.
Mona: No, sometimes they know I was. Because, you know, like I was independent and I used to live my life, you know, since my husband passed away, I don’t know how to ask somebody for something. So you can see like people showed up at my house with a basket of fruit or a basket of, you know, Costco stuff. You know, Mona, you’re going to need this. You’re going to need that. It’s just like, or they leave it on my door. And I was like, even at the holidays, Dorothy, they were like giving us. You know, prison and gift cards for the kids.
They didn’t leave a single detail, you know, even the next, um, Mother’s day, they know that my husband passed away on Mother’s day. So I have very nice flower on my door and they were— Everyone, every single one of them. They were like texting me happy mother’s day They know how how hard this day is, but it was this small detail Dorothy.
They were like genuinely around me. We [00:23:00] celebrated after we finished the cycles of the chemo. They got a cake. We took pictures. They were around me. I feel like, you know, this my real family and here and this is what it make it. You know, I get up every day feeling safe that I have people got my back and got my kids just in case something happened.
Even, you know, uh, I finished the cycles of the chemo therapy and I did my right Mastectomy and my, um— My friend, they were arranging the accommodation for the kids. One I don’t have to worry. It was like one night, uh, staying in a, in a hospital, not a big deal, but they were looking into it, like how the kids are going to come after school, who’s going to pick them up, who they’re going to stay over.
And then, oh, you don’t have like to, to bring them next day. Let them, let them be with us. Just rest for you. You need to rest. You need like to, you know, to heal. So I feel like, you know. I don’t know even if I am in a friend that I’m gonna be [00:24:00] like them taking care of some other people, it just, it was eye opening. They still do. They still care about me. They still texting me. Like if they didn’t hear from me for some reason, I’m busy or something. Mona, let’s catch up. Let’s do. And they are fighting with each other. Who’s going to take me to the treatment until, because I’m entertaining them, you know, with my stories.
I was like, Oh, this is, this is Jenny. This is Hannah’s story. I was like, okay, so I’m still imagine like I am almost two and a half years with the treatment. I didn’t stop treatment and they’re picking me up every three weeks. They never get bored of that. They didn’t know. Oh, we’re tired. I was the one like, I’m feeling embarrassed sometimes because I feel like it’s a, it’s a, it’s a, it’s a job for them to, and I was like, no, no worry.
If we’re off, we’re going to pick you and we’re going to take you. Don’t worry about this. And even like one of my friends is like, she, she has something that. Uh, she need, uh, to be somewhere else. She doesn’t say she arranged first to something was other friend. And you tell me, Mona, I cannot come, but [00:25:00] this person is going to be with you.
She doesn’t then, Oh, I cannot. It just, it just phenomenal Dorothy. I love them. I love them. It just like, and I owe them so much. And they are giving me the strength in here when you say, uh, the woman, the woman’s superpower and they can do a lot of stuff. This is one of them. This is one of them. And it’s not a single one failed me. They all like helping in their own different ways.
Dorothy: Oh my gosh, that gives me chills.
Mona: So, I owe them and I love them all. I love you all.
Dorothy: All of these examples, though, are so good for us to hear who may find a friend who needs that.
Mona: Yes, yes. I mean—
Dorothy: I would never have thought of all those things.
Mona: I’m lucky, I’m lucky having, and they call it even the WhatsApp group like Mona’s Tribe. You know, it’s just like, you know, it was, and it’s still, it is still, it means the world to me.
Dorothy: Oh, of course. Now, are you out of treatment now?
Mona: No, [00:26:00] unfortunately, after I was diagnosed at the beginning of stage 2, because it was only spread into a lymph node, after the mastectomy, the right mastectomy, when we did a CT scan on a chest, we found nodules on the lung. And, um, in the beginning, it was suspicious, but like, we, uh, pushed for a biopsy just like to make sure what is going on. And unfortunately, we found it’s a metastatic from the breast. So this is, uh, another shocking news. This is the one that I couldn’t handle. I cried, cried because I thought like, The cancer is over, I finished the chemotherapy, I, uh, did the mastectomy, heading to radiation and that’s it.
You know, I’m going back to my normal life. If it’s like, you know, normal, you know, um, having that, I didn’t know that the metastatic means a life treatment, like it’s not going to stop. So I felt like, you know, I’m dying. And I, uh, I had another friend that she came in and she [00:27:00] was like, okay, Mona, let’s take a walk.
Let’s take a walk. Let’s process this, let’s talk it out, and let’s discuss the options and what is going to be the consequences of this new news that we have here and, um, You know, we talk it out. I had to break the news to my family again, and this is not a good news. And, uh, we talked to the doctor and she said, no, we have treatment to have this. We have that. And we’re going to start having that. Um, initially, you know, like you, when you, when you, um, facing so much tragic news in your life. And this is one of them is not getting numb, it’s just getting in a state like, it’s not processing the news. It’s just, I don’t know what is happening, but I have to do it.
I have three kids. And everybody’s like, you know, I know you have, you have to take care of yourself. You still have three kids in your shoulder. And you listening to this sentence, you feel like your shoulder is heavy and getting heavier. [00:28:00] It’s nothing getting lighter. You thought it’s getting lighter by finishing the surgery, but it’s not.
There’s still cancer— is still It’s still in your life. It doesn’t want to go away. Uh, so I had to adapt. I had to accept, like, I’m going to have treatments. I’m going to have a scheduled scan from time to time. I’m going to be working. I’m going to be taking care of the kids. So the thing is, like, in the beginning, I was having a rough time dealing with the kids.
How, uh, they see me sick for a few days. I cannot do anything for them. I cannot take them to their activities. I cannot entertain them like, you know, going shopping or doing something for— pick up and drop off from their friends. It’s just— I can’t. And then I get up, I feel normal, we resume our life. So this cycle, initially it was so difficult for the kids to process that.
It was scary for me seeing the kids like that. Like I had [00:29:00] a tough time how to break the news to my kids because these kids saw their dad lying on the ground, dying. And now they’re seeing their mom losing her hair and getting treatment and getting weaker. There is no family around them. I don’t know how they’re feeling.
I never, I was having my mom and dad until I grew up and having kids. I don’t know how they feel. So I was trying to protect their emotional being as much as I can. But pushing that on me, my body cannot do it. My body, I cannot push, I cannot pretend I’m good. I cannot pretend that certain days I cannot. So I, uh, ask a help from one of my friend and she came with her husband. We sat down, dinner outside of the restaurant after we finished eating, we, she started like talking about the news and I was like looking and the kids, my oldest, he was like, can I listen carefully, try to process my daughter. She can, I like trying to [00:30:00] distract herself. Like she doesn’t want to listen to this news.
Like, this is. No, she doesn’t want to listen, and I feel like, you know, I need to sit down another time with her, only her, just like to talk it out loud. And hear her emotions. The little one, he’s still, he’s still a baby. He’s still my baby. He was like sweet listening, but like, you know, he didn’t like, he was like, um, when, when my friend, she was telling them, no, mommy, you’re going to need help. My mommy, she’s going to need, you know, like to take care of yourself. Don’t bother her. And he was like, okay, okay, we’ll do that. He was like, so sweet. Like whenever you want to ask me, I will do it. Uh, later, you know, my oldest, he started like taking the responsibility, helping out a little bit with the chores.
Luckily he’s driving right now. So he’s. He’s a big help right now, driving, you know, uh, his siblings back and forth. It’s just like, you know, they’re growing and they’re growing with me during this time. Like now it has been five years losing my husband and I feel like, you know, we grew in a different way.
I know like it’s a different turn, [00:31:00] but we’re still here and we still, uh, make it. Living, you know, we’re still going. We didn’t lose the social activity. We didn’t lose the sense of humor. We didn’t lose like gathering on a TV and do stuff or traveling. It’s different, but it’s not that bad, Dorothy. So this is like, you know, my kids are normal, you know, going to school, going activity, hanging with their friends.
That’s what I want to hear. That is what I want to see my kids. I don’t want to see them like, you know, hiding themselves and scared because you know, their mom going through something. So this is what the most important thing for me. I need to remain strong because they’re going to feed from your energy.
And I don’t want to raise weak kids. I didn’t leave my family in Egypt and here just like to have like, you know, um, a miserable life with the kids. You know, this is not my intention and it’s my decision raising them here. So. I need to be that strong for them, seeing that raising them, [00:32:00] um, and, and life also is not a fairytale, you know, like raising kids here in America, you feel like, you know, you are on the top of the world with the education and taking care, you know, like you don’t suffer as what we have, what we see in the world right now. Kids are spoiled sometimes. And I feel, hey, they are experiencing the tough days. They know how it looks like. They gonna process this, they gonna be tougher. Whatever going to happen in their life, they are prepared for it. In case I’m here, I’m not here, they should be able to navigate this life.
Dorothy: I tell you, Mona, if ever you, uh, ever need anyone like you in, in, in someone’s life. I cannot imagine. You have shared so many important things with us today. And I know every woman that has children that’s facing breast cancer is going to be inspired just by hearing how you dealt with it.
Mona: It is not easy, but, but we do it. We’re doing it. I get up in the [00:33:00] morning. I do it no matter how tough the night is. But, you know, something inside of you, there is hope and, um, I’m, I’m, I’m following so many breast cancer women, um, just for a good vibe. Just, I want to also get something from their energy. I want to, I want to, cause, um, I don’t want to be this sad patient sitting on a bed every night crying that her destiny didn’t go well.
I want to, you know, just embrace what I’m having. And if you take the cup, I feel like my cup is full, is not half full, half empty, because it with the, like, you know, when life give you some surprising events, they give you the good ones to support you. This is how I feel it right now. Like I got the support I needed to handle these events.
So my cup is full. It could be worse if [00:34:00] I am facing it alone without my, my, my friends. Or I have like sick kids or I have something or I have, you know, bad family. It just like, you know, or I don’t have a job. So this is like, you know, this is a blessing itself for that you are counting how, you know, lucky you are that going through this, but you have the support exactly what you need, like the right people in the right time.
And uh, there is like an strength in you to get up early in the morning. Okay, this is another day. Yeah, you are facing it with fear. I am having a scan from time to time. My treatment unfortunately is not responding well to, uh, my tumor is not responding well to treatment. Last year alone, I changed like three course of treatment.
Uh, I am on the fourth one, and, uh, I’m waiting for another scans maybe later this month. I am constantly living fear that, okay, what if it’s not gonna work? We’re going to go to square [00:35:00] one and then we’re going to look for another, uh, treatment or a clinical trial because, you know, metastatic now they have lots of clinical research and I’m seeing my options about, I’m still hesitant with that because, you know, they’re still like in phase one.
You don’t know the side effects or the dosing and whatever. So I’m kind of like, you know, um, patient handling that. But again, the fear of, um, it’s not the fear of dying. Honestly, sometimes I feel like, Oh, I’m, I’m too tired. Let’s let’s do this. I’m sorry. But, um, it’s my kids. I don’t want to, I don’t want, I, I still like, you know, um, my oldest, he’s graduating from high school this year.
He’s senior last year. I was like— Am I gonna make it to see him? And I was like, by God’s will, it’s coming next month. I’m here. I’m still here. My daughter, you know, I want to see her, you know, graduating in her wedding dress. I hope so. I was hoping because I didn’t have my mom around me in, [00:36:00] uh, with having kids.
I was dreaming one day I’m going to hold her babies and I held her out, you know, so I was like, you know, let me dream of that. Let me focus on that, you know, because I don’t want to leave them in, uh, in this life alone, navigating this alone, you know, so. Yeah, you know what you need to do.
Dorothy: Listen, we, we affirm all of your dreams and we know, we know they will come true.
Mona: Thank you.
Dorothy: Thank you so much for being with us today.
Mona: Thank you so much.
Post-Credits: Thank you for joining us today on Let’s Talk About Your Breasts. This podcast is produced by Speke Podcasting and brought to you by The Rose. Visit therose.org to learn more about our organization. Subscribe to our podcast, share episodes with friends and join the conversation on social media using #Let’sTalkAboutYourBreasts. We welcome your feedback and suggestions. Consider supporting The Rose. Your gift can make the difference to a person in need. And remember self care is not selfish. It’s [00:37:00] essential.
