Dorothy: [00:00:00] How do you support an organization that has been so important to your family? You know, there are times when people are raising money for The Rose and we don’t even know the background or the story or the why’s. Destiny Fernandisse is a person who decided to make a difference in other people’s lives after The Rose helped her family.
This Former Miss League City, who went on to compete in the Miss USA competition and who is today still doing competitions and has a whole lot to say about what that does for a woman’s self esteem and why it’s important. She’s going to share things that I had never heard before, but she’s also raising money in some very unique ways to help the women of The Rose. Join us as we hear her story.
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Destiny, tell me how a little bit more about your mother’s experience with breast cancer, and your personal family experience that you’ve had.
Destiny: Yeah, my grandmother was the first to get breast cancer in our family. And she actually had it four times. On the fourth time it came back as bone and breast cancer, as well as brain. Um, so it was a really quick decline. It was terrible. My mom also had it when I was a senior in high school, and then the year after her mother passed, she got it again. So for the [00:02:00] second time. During that time, she was uninsured, and it was a really difficult time in her life. She just lost her mother. She’d gone through a divorce. Everything seemed to be falling apart in her life, and I was doing my best to support her, but it was no doubt challenging. Um, and while we worked with the same gynecologist for years, she just retired, um, she recommended The Rose because my mom was uninsured. So that’s how we came to find out about this organization. And that’s how she learned she had breast cancer for the second time. So you guys saved her life. Thank you so much. All of the fundraising that you do allowed her to get the treatment that she needed and get that support. So that’s one of the biggest reasons I support The Rose. You know, my mom has since gotten back to a place in her life where she’s comfortable and happy and she’s been breast cancer free for seven years. Knock on wood. So since then we’ve tried in any way to participate and just spread the word on The Rose.
Dorothy: So, the first time that we heard about you was when you were doing a Kendra Scott [00:03:00] event. Yeah, you were doing one of those. And I think it was our PR firm said, do you know this woman, she’s doing this event for you and we didn’t. And it was so wonderful to just, you know, sometimes that happens where we may not know that folks are doing an event, but that was really, really neat. And now you’re doing another kind of event.
Destiny: Yes.
Dorothy: So tell us about that.
Destiny: So, um, I’m a CMO at Sovereign Wealth Advisors and we’re going to put on a casino night for for um, for you guys, really. We, we thought how can we give back to the community and I suggested The Rose and it’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month. So we thought it’d be a really good mix of, uh, you know, kind of just spreading the word and getting that out.
Dorothy: Is this primarily for your clients or?
Destiny: Yes.
Dorothy: Yes. Staff?
Destiny: It’ll be primarily for our clients, um, we are open to having Rose supporters attend as well. It is a no entry fee for our clients or for others. We’re covering those costs and then all of the proceeds from the actual casino event will go to The Rose.
Dorothy: And when is this [00:04:00] scheduled?
Destiny: This is October 18th.
Dorothy: You didn’t have any trouble convincing people to support this at your work?
Destiny: No, it was a really quick yes. I think once we talked about what The Rose is and my personal connection to it, everyone was on board. Especially my CEO, he’s very adamant about supporting locally. Uh, he wants to support Houston locally, um, because that’s where we are, that’s where our clients are. So we like to, to give back where we are.
Dorothy: And that is what The Rose is really known for, is for being apart in the community, you know, serving the community, a part of the community. And it’s also the community that helps us to keep going every year. I mean, this is, we’re very, we’re still very grassroots and, you know, we’re not corporate and we’re not a national organization or anything like that. So it’s totally dependent on these kinds of fundraisers to be able to serve people just like your mother.
Destiny: Yeah.
Dorothy: Now I want you to tell us a little bit about Destiny because you have a fascinating background.
Destiny: I think it’s from having ADHD, you know, I just kind of bounce around picking new things [00:05:00] all the time to join into—
Dorothy: Well, this is the first time we’ve ever had a Miss League City The first Miss League City ever and a semi finalist at the Miss Texas, Texas I mean, this is our first so I want you to tell us something about that how you got into it and why.
Destiny: Yeah.
Dorothy: Yeah.
Destiny: Pageantry was something I always thought looked amazing, right? From the outside looking in, uh, you see the girls with big smiles and crowns and happy lives, and I thought, I want that for myself. How can I do it? So I actually worked full time while I was in school and I didn’t really have the means to participate in in what I call an expensive hobby, um, or an expensive sport because there’s a lot of running in heels behind the stage. Um, but there is.
Dorothy: Wow.
Destiny: Once I was able to, I first competed as Miss Clear Lake. I did not place. I competed in the Miss Houston pageant. I did place there. I won Miss Photogenic and then I reached out to the Miss Kema pageant. So this is now you’re getting the really behind the scenes story. And I said, Hey, this [00:06:00] is my, maybe last year to compete. I really want to represent a title close to home. Uh, League City is my hometown. Are you hosting another pageant this year? And that director was Kelly Williams, who has, is also a breast cancer survivor. Um, And she said, yeah, actually we’re not, but the Miss League City pageant is going to start this year and we need a title holder for the 60th year celebration of the city. Would you be that title holder?
Dorothy: Oh my goodness.
Destiny: Yeah. It was serendipity. I had jokingly called myself Miss League City for the past two years, even though there was no official title. And I think I manifested creating that title and that reality, you know, you got to speak it into existence.
Dorothy: Right. Absolutely. Absolutely. We believe that.
Destiny: Yeah. Kelly said it was God’s plan, divine intervention. Here, she was looking for a title holder and she gets an actual message saying, I want to represent my hometown. This is the closest thing to it. And she said, actually, you can represent your hometown. So through that process, I actually got a proclamation with the mayor and I dedicated a day to, um, helping women with [00:07:00] breast cancer.
Dorothy: Yes. I saw that. Yeah. I was watching that. Yeah.
Destiny: Oh, you watched the proclamation?
Dorothy: Uh huh. It was so good.
Destiny: Did you see at the end they sang happy birthday to me? It was my birthday that day.
Dorothy: Oh, it was? Oh my goodness.
Destiny: Yeah. Um, being Miss League City was a huge honor. It was very exciting. Um, representing my hometown and getting to semifinals at Texas was probably a once in a lifetime experience. Because the girl that ended up winning, went on to win Miss USA and then Miss Universe. And so I followed her. I went to all the Crownings, I saw her at USA, I saw her at Universe. And so, you know, my first time as a semifinalist, I, I competed with Miss Universe. What an honor. What a cool thing.
Dorothy: Oh, what an honor. Yes.
Destiny: Yeah.
Dorothy: My goodness. Now you were describing this as a finishing school or a of —
Destiny: Yeah.
Dorothy: Yeah. Tell us more about that.
Destiny: I tell women, young women especially, do a pageant, even if you are terrified of it, if, even if you don’t think you’re the best person to win, just do one. It’s a modern day finishing school for women. You learn etiquette. [00:08:00] You learn how to be articulate. You go through interview prep. You learn how to sit up straight without your back hurting. There are just so many little things that are applicable to, I would say the corporate world especially, but anywhere you go to be able to hold your head up high and keep your shoulders back.
Dorothy: But you also talked about how people often think this is just about the beauty or just about—
Destiny: It’s absolutely not. Yeah. The prettiest girl is not the winner. It’s never that way. Um, you know, sometimes it is, but there are so many beautiful women, especially in Texas. And Texas is what we call sash, a sash state. The Philippines would be a sash country. They’re a really strong competitor at Miss Universe. Texas is a really strong competitor at Miss USA. We hold the most state titles for the country. So Texas is always tough, even uh, even at the local levels. If you’re a top 15 at Miss Texas, you could probably place that Miss USA. That’s sort of what the, they say internally. Right?
Dorothy: Oh my goodness.
Destiny: And of course, maybe there’s some bias there because we are Texan, but um. [00:09:00] Yeah, it’s, it’s not about being the prettiest. It’s about being the best at well rounded person. So coming into a room and being able to connect with others, being able to inspire young women to pursue bigger things in life, being articulate, being able to really just convey who you are, what you stand for, and hopefully inspire others to do the same.
Dorothy: So you’ve kind of taken that on as part of your mentoring process too, right?
Destiny: I think so, yeah.
Dorothy: I think that would be so important because it really does have a stigma. And you know, it’s, oh, you know, pageants. But that’s interesting. That’s a whole different way of looking at it.
Destiny: TV really portrays it as the mean girls kind of cutting dresses backstage or hiding shoes, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. Really backstage we’re primping one another, we’re fixing things, we’re sewing things, we’re bringing band aids out. Um, who’s got butt glue? That’s a very common thing you’ll hear yelled out.
Dorothy: What is that?
Destiny: We glue everything to us. Nothing is, yeah, our dresses are sometimes glued on, our sashes are glued [00:10:00] on to our shoulders, our swimsuits are glued on to our body because as you walk, you know, you may notice on the beach things ride up. Well, you don’t want that when you’re five feet above an audience, anything to be riding up or moving around.
Dorothy: Oh, how interesting.
Destiny: There’s probably four sticks of butt glue that girls remember to bring for 100 girls. So there’s a lot of, like I said, running and yelling backstage.
Dorothy: Oh my goodness, that sounds, sounds like fun.
Destiny: It is fun, it is. It’s a big sleepover.
Dorothy: Yeah, but it’s also a lot of work.
Destiny: A tremendous amount of work. I have, uh, I don’t know, six or seven videos from this last year’s pageant of girls sleeping on the floor in different moments, you know, in the beauty room getting your hair done, um, in the back, uh, in between rehearsals.
I mean, it’s, it is an exercise both mentally and physically. That weekend is killer. USA is a quick pageant and everything is very timed out, so you sleep when you can. It’s fun though. Yeah. This year I’m hoping to help chaperone. I volunteered already. So hopefully they, yeah, I love it. I really [00:11:00] think, like I said, it’s modern day finishing school for women and you, you really see progress in a short amount of time. People will start having higher and higher goals because they realize not only are they achievable, but that they’re capable and they can reach further.
Dorothy: So it’s all about that self esteem and in many different ways. So now you are Ms. Kema?
Destiny: I’m currently Ms. Kema, USA. Yeah, this was my last year to compete and I was a semi finalist. I think it was the hardest year I’ve ever competed. And maybe it’s because I took a year off. I don’t know. Or it could be because I’m getting too old to participate. I, I know, I know you’re saying that, but they used to have an age restriction and I would have been too old to compete this year because they removed it. I said, okay, I’ll come back one more time.
Dorothy: Oh my, that is interesting. I didn’t realize that either. We could just talk all day about pageants.
Destiny: I could, yeah.
Dorothy: We have to start a new podcast. Let’s, yeah, we will. Let’s go back to why you support The Rose. How important you think it is, and you know, we call these events third [00:12:00] party events because they are events that we don’t have anything to do with. Our host, like you, does all of the work, gets everyone involved, raises the money, and brings it to us. So it is kind of our favorite part of fundraising. We get to meet, it’s easy, we meet new people, and you know, You know, you are sharing the story of The Rose with people we’ll never meet, or really don’t have any access to talking to. So tell us a little bit more about how did you even get this idea about supporting us? I mean, where did it come from?
Destiny: Um, to be honest with you, my, uh, October is a special time in my life, not just because it’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but it’s also my grandmother’s birthday and when we lost her. So, I always try to think of different ways to honor her in that month and, um, she was passionate about breast cancer awareness.
She liked to do 5Ks, she liked to do any kind of volunteering that she could get in her hands on or, um, just something that would help the women that [00:13:00] were currently going through it. And, um, so a few years back when I pursued, um, a strategic digital, uh, marketing certification at Rice, we had a task to create a Facebook group for a false business.
And I said, well, that’s silly. If I’m going to do all this work, I might as well do it for a reason. And at the time, this was 2020, so there was, you know, everything shut down. So I’m trying to think of ways to virtually support women that are currently going through breast ca uh, breast cancer treatment.
And um, I thought of comfort kits. So ways that people could volunteer would be to either donate monetarily and then for those that couldn’t, I said, can you write a letter to someone that they can read. And so we got so many amazing letters, so many awesome little things. I think I sent you guys a picture of one of the boxes and my mom actually took all those to The Rose.
Um, so she brought them all in there for, uh, your staff to hand out. And, um, so The Rose is always on our [00:14:00] mind. We always want to help in some way, in part because I think, oh, you guys saved my mom, you know? She’s, uh, she’s very important to me. I, uh, look like her mini me. And so I see my grandmother in her. I see myself in her and I want to support her.
Um, so she represents all the other women that have daughters in their lives and mothers in their lives that have experienced the same thing. So when we, I thought about doing some kind of event, I was thinking Rose first. How can we support The Rose? What can we do? What will be fun? How can we get our clients involved? How can I get my staff on board? And uh, yeah, the casino night came to mind. And to be honest, we’re doing it at a venue that I also work with another group in Houston called the Houston Angels.
Dorothy: Yes. Now tell us about that group.
Destiny: Yeah. I, I love the Houston Angels. Recently their Regional chapter here dissolved. Hopefully they will be bringing it back soon. I talked to their national director, maybe in a year or two. Um, I don’t know what happened, but hopefully they’ll bring it back. I volunteered with [00:15:00] them for two years, but they actively help children that are currently in foster care. And foster care is near and dear to my heart because, um, well, this is kind of funny.
You guys are going to look at me crazy. This is very southern, but I have an uncle, brother, and an aunt, sister, and And, uh, what that means is my dad ended up adopting his two youngest siblings. He did not know they existed until he went to his father’s funeral and, uh, a caseworker walked up and said, hey, do you want to meet your siblings?
And he said, who are you? I know my siblings. And he points at these teenagers in the back. And that’s how my dad learned that his father had other children. So he ended up adopting them. And I saw firsthand what growing up without parents looks like, you know, going through the foster care system, some of the ways that maybe it impacted their development.
Um, they’re great now, you know, they’re doing wonderful now, but, um, it always left a, a space in my heart that needed to be filled. And, and that’s one way I participate is through the Houston Angels. So the, uh, one of the chairmen there owns this venue [00:16:00] that we’re renting out. So it’s sort of like a double whammy. We’re kind of, you know, I’m putting my feet where, where I can, uh, and trying to help everybody that does good for others.
Dorothy: Oh, that is great. That is really great. Go back to mother. How old was she when she was first diagnosed?
Destiny: Oh, you’re going to make me do math. I was a senior in high school. Oh, I should have, I should have a calculator. Okay. I want to say she was about 35 or 36.
Dorothy: I was wondering if she was young.
Destiny: She was quite young.
Dorothy: Yeah. And you’ve started your surveillance, right?
Destiny: I have. Yeah. Two years ago.
Dorothy: Want to make sure on that. Were you worried about it or —
Destiny: Got to get your mammographs. Um, no, I think I accepted the reality that it’s most likely in my future. And so You know, what can you do? Eat healthy. Live clean.
Dorothy: Do your mammograms. Right.
Destiny: Do your mammograms. Yeah. Um, I think breast cancer aid has come a long way. Um, I think it’s come significantly further than what my grandmother experienced with treatment. You know, my mother’s now survived it twice. [00:17:00] So I have a lot of optimism for my future, but also a lot of reality, you know, there’s whatever’s in God’s plan, right? That’s sort of what I go back to.
Dorothy: So, now let’s go to the business you, because that’s kind of amazing too. Tell me exactly what it is you do.
Destiny: So, I’m a Chief Marketing Officer for a financial advisory firm, um, Sovereign Wealth Advisors based here in Houston. We have three offices all the way down to Corpus Christi, uh, another in Sugar Land, and we’re, I think we’re moving in about a year, but maybe we’ll cut that, I don’t know.
Just in case we don’t. Um, Sovereign Wealth Advisors is an organization that is a, um, Basically, we help other people invest their money, and we do it through an independent branch, meaning we don’t work with a large bank that has, uh, quotas to make on how investments are operated. We’re client focused first, so it’s, uh, a lot more free in the way that we help our clients.
I’m not sure if you know, but a lot of financial [00:18:00] advisors. tasked with meeting a certain allotment of people they need for one product type so maybe you’re not getting the best thing for you, but you’re, you know, getting the best thing for that company. That’s the opposite with us. We are a client focused first.
But what I do there is everything marketing. So a digital website doing the Google Adwords, social media, in person and events, prints. Pretty much everything under the marketing scope falls under my purview.
Dorothy: So has marketing always been sort of your, your career path?
Destiny: Yeah, I’ve been doing this for about 10 years. Yeah. 10 years in May. So I’m now at the, I would say the top of my game. I have the best title I could get in this, in this field. So yeah. And that’s relatively new. So I’m excited.
Dorothy: Oh my goodness, well, and you do a lot of the, uh, business to business, a lot of the, those types of campaigns. Right?
Destiny: Yeah.
Dorothy: Yeah. How interesting. I, I, I was so surprised when I was reading that. I thought, [00:19:00] she’s way too young for all this, but.
Destiny: Yeah, it’s because I started working and going to school at a young age. So, yeah, my first job in a suit, I was, uh, I had just turned 19. My friend at the time said I look like toddlers in tiaras because the suits were all a little too big.
Dorothy: I remember when we had to wear suits to begin with, you know, it was a long, long time ago, but nothing ever quite fit.
Destiny: No, they didn’t really make a lot of women’s suits.
Dorothy: No, they didn’t. They were just copies of little men’s suits.
Destiny: Yeah.
Dorothy: So, I’m so glad that we’re away from that kind of thing. Thinking we have to dress like that all the time.
Destiny: Well, and your suit’s fabulous.
Dorothy: Oh, thank you. Thank you. But you know, it’s always good and I, I still believe this, for a woman to have something that she can put on if she needs it, you know, that jacket that, whatever, because sometimes we need to arm up. It’s just life. And it gives us that little extra to be able to go out there with a little more confidence.
Destiny: Yeah, I’m one of, um, three women at my [00:20:00] company.
Dorothy: Oh.
Destiny: So, yeah.
Dorothy: That makes a difference too.
Destiny: It does. This is my third place of employment where I am completely outnumbered by the amount of men in the space. So, yes, you, you can go in with the, with the suit jacket sometimes. If you have to lead a staff meeting, I think it’s important to kind of present yourself a little more firm because it’s so easy as a young woman to be spoken over, right?
Dorothy: Right. That’s the other thing, it seems like that some of your work with the pageants has brought you around to understanding too. I mean, there’s still so much that women don’t realize, young women, and how we present ourselves and how, that talk over is so important.
Destiny: Yeah.
Dorothy: Oh, yeah.
Destiny: “Hold on. Let me finish.”
Dorothy: Okay.
Destiny: Yeah. No, that’s it.
Dorothy: Right. That’s exactly, exactly what they do. Yes. Are some of the other employees to, uh, yes, that may be how you’re thinking about it. Like.
Destiny: Right.
Dorothy: Is this really [00:21:00] needed here? Yeah, I’ve certainly seen a lot of that.
Destiny: I bet you have throughout your career.
Dorothy: You know, The Rose has like 129 employees and two men now.
Destiny: Oh, okay.
Dorothy: Who struggle. I know they do. But with that many women, you know, it’s just a different environment. And I worked in a corporate environment where there were a lot more, a lot more men. So it is different. Women, you approach things a little differently?
Destiny: Well, there was a recent study that came out where women tend to have higher scores when it comes to leadership, and a part of that is that women work collaboratively, where men are more dominant and submissive, where they want those roles where you’re in charge and then everyone else follows. Women don’t do that. We work together as a group. We can be equal without the hubris, and sometimes that makes for better leadership.
Dorothy: So, tell me, what is the most [00:22:00] important message you have today for our listeners? You have a lot of different messages. I’m hearing messages for young women, messages for breast cancer. Messages for what you can do in the community.
Destiny: Yeah, I think, well, who is your audience? How many, is it based in, is it local?
Dorothy: Some is, uh, actually we were really one of the top podcasts in Japan.
Destiny: Oh, that’s really cool.
Dorothy: I know, we don’t know why, but.
Destiny: Yeah, you need to do some research and figure out why.
Dorothy: We have different countries, but we’ve been downloaded about 40,000 times.
Destiny: Wow, that’s amazing.
Dorothy: So, and this is our second season.
Destiny: Okay, so a message for local Houstonians. Do support the Rose, find different ways. They have a lot of events throughout the year. One of my favorites was the Hats and Henna event. I thought the show was really inspiring. I learned a lot about different cultures there. Um, the food’s great. So, you know, that’s just the one event that I’ve been to that they’ve put on, but I know they do them throughout the year.
Try to support something locally and don’t be [00:23:00] afraid to speak up. I think that’s my advice for sort of blanket advice for anyone everywhere. Don’t be afraid to speak up for things that you believe in, things that you care about, and things that you want to see change.
Dorothy: That’s a great message.
Destiny: Thank you.
Dorothy: It’s one that we all need to hear more and more. We’re in a, in a time where if we don’t speak up, someone else will. If we don’t tell our own stories, someone else will. And it may not be the story you want told. So, great, great message.
Destiny: Thank you.
Dorothy: Well, thank you so much for being with us today.
Destiny: Thank you for having me.
Dorothy: I can’t wait to have you back and hear all the other things that you’re going to be doing.
Destiny: Are you coming to the Casino Night?
Dorothy: I don’t know. I’ve got to get it on my calendar.
Destiny: Okay, come on. Let’s have fun.
Dorothy: Oh, me and casino. Oh!
Destiny: You can speak there. I did ask for someone to come and speak. Yeah.
Dorothy: Well, you’ve got a lot of my team that speaks a lot better than I do, but, but I know someone is going to be there. So thank you for doing that for us.
Destiny: Absolutely. All right. Till next time.
Post-Credits: Thank you for joining us today on [00:24:00] Let’s Talk About Your Breasts. This podcast is produced by Speke Podcasting and brought to you by the Rose. Visit therose.org to learn more about our organization. Subscribe to our podcast. Share episodes with friends, and join the conversation on social media using #LetsTalkAboutYourBreasts. We welcome your feedback and suggestions. Consider supporting The Rose. Your gift can make the difference to a person in need. Remember, self care is not selfish, it’s essential.
