Dorothy: [00:00:00] Have you ever had to chase down a bus for a vital health procedure? Dee Benson has. Dee faced so many obstacles when she needed a diagnostic mammogram. You see, she had been to a for profit breast center, and they were eager to take her money for her mammogram, but they sure did not want to help when she needed a biopsy.
She was uninsured. She would have to come up with the cash all by herself. That’s when she happened to see The Rose mobile mammography coach traveling down the road just ahead of her. She followed it to our southeast location. And here at The Rose, she found the help she needed. She was diagnosed with two different types of cancer, but Dee will tackle her fears and the treatment head on. She’s a fighter, an advocate, and knows when to chase down help.
Please subscribe to our show. It will help us reach others as we [00:01:00] share ways that help people get through breast cancer, give caregivers hope and information, and bring a new awareness to the importance of mammograms.
Let’s Talk About Your Breasts, a different kind of podcast presented to you by The Rose. The Breast Center of Excellence and a Texas treasure. You’re going to hear frank discussions about tough topics, and you’re going to learn why knowing about your breast could save your life.
Dee, thank you so much for joining us today. I think I told you you’re quite a legend around here at The Rose. So thank you for being with us.
Dee: Thank you guys for having me.
Dorothy: Of course, of course. Now, you’re known as the lady who followed the bus. Tell us that story.
Dee: Well, on October the 2nd, I had gone to Solis to do my mammogram. It was my annual. I hadn’t done [00:02:00] one in about seven years. Um, breast cancer runs in my family, so I’ve always done them, but because I had been, I went back to get my bachelor’s in 2015, then I turned around and went to grad school, but I’m still working full time and doing my internship, so I was totally busy.
And, um, I can say that I feel like maybe I took that for granted because I never had anything. So they’ve always been good. So I just didn’t do it. Um, so I went to Solis on the second. I turned 60 on the fourth. They called me on the eighth. Uh, this is in October. And at that time I had been in Houston one year. I moved here September the 23rd.
Dorothy: Oof.
Dee: So, when they called, they said, Hey, we saw something and we need to get you back in. And I [00:03:00] go, Okay, no problem. So, three or four days prior to the appointment they call and they’re like, Hey, your insurance won’t cover it. And I said, what do you mean? My insurance won’t cover it.
And she goes, Oh, the, the one that you’ve already taken is the one that they cover for preventive. And at that time I had Blue Cross Blue Shield. So, um, I called Blue Cross Blue Shield. I’m questioning the followup, um, because Solis told me that I would need a thousand dollars. And so I told them, let me see what I can do. And I knew I wasn’t going to pay them a thousand dollars. But meanwhile, when I called Blue Cross, um, I learned that they would not cover it.
Dorothy: So you had a very limited plan.
Dee: I had a limited plan.
Dorothy: Many times, uh, patients will sign up for it not realizing that it is limited and it can only provide certain things.
Dee: Correct. And I, once I learned that, um, I cut them off. [00:04:00] Not because I had a second plan, it was just because I was like, I felt like that was unfair. And I knew that if I needed a service, that’s why I have insurance. And I’m like, hey, you saw something. You should be able to heal that so that it’s covered. And so, um, when they did that, um, I was a little angry because I wanted to know what they saw. And, um, so I’m driving up Fuqua, and I see The Rose bus. I’m in the right lane, I’ll never forget it. I was in the right lane, and I’m like, Hey! That bus got the ribbon on it, so I followed, I bussed the U turn from the right lane.
There was no other car there, but I was, I was like, I gotta catch this bus. Cause I felt like, me working in social services, that generally, um, was a sign that the bus was going somewhere to [00:05:00] provide the service where you could get a free mammogram or a low cost mammogram. And so when I followed it, it made this right turn, and I’m like, okay, that’s Featherwood.
Where’s the big bus going to all these apartments? So when it came in the back of this building, I came back around and I parked, and I came in and I was like, really nervous, but it, I got emotional, um, when I got in, one, it’s beautiful up there. And so I told them, I said, Hey, I need to see if you can have any way you can work with me on a low cost basis.
I’m not working and uh, I was so emotional and uh. They just grabbed my hand. I wish I could remember the lady’s name. And she was like, Ms. Benson, just breathe. And I’m like, no, but breast cancer runs in my family. And I know if they saw something, this is the first time. And she was telling me to breathe.[00:06:00]
And they gave me the two page paper. I filled it out in like two or three days, I got the call and they were like, hey, we’ll cover you. And I said, for real? And I was crying because it was like, I wanted to know what would they see. And so that’s what got me through the door. When I came for my very first appointment, I didn’t know that Dr. Melillo was who she was. She’s an amazing woman.
Dorothy: Oh, she is.
Dee: Um, and she pretty much made it easy. But it was really challenging for me because I’m like, what did they see, what did they see? So when she took me in there to do the diagnosis, I’m looking on the wall and I’m looking at my left breast because in my left side, I had ductal carcinoma in situ.
So it was, the cancer was running through my milk ducts. So I’m like, what is that spider webby thing? Right. But she’s looking at my right breast, which [00:07:00] was the invasive ductal carcinoma. And it was a small dot. And so, she was like, can you come back next week? And again, I’m seeing the pictures. But, I said next week, I said, I gotta get a job.
I’m gonna be homeless. And she, with that soft voice, she came and she says, Baby, don’t you worry about getting no job right now. We gonna make sure you get all the services you need. Still it don’t click. Right? So I come out and I get in my car, I’m like, they’re trippin I’m gonna be homeless. And they still need to know what’s going on, right?
So I leave and I come back. Now, before I left, let me back that up. Before I left, she was looking, her assistant, you could hear her clicking. And she goes, can you come back next Thursday? Mind you, my first appointment was on a Thursday, so the next week you want me to come back on a Thursday. And I [00:08:00] said, okay, well, how early? Because I got a 10 30 interview. I had just literally told those people yes. And so her saying that to me, it was like, what do you mean? Don’t worry about no job. I got a whole interview. So I came in, I did the, uh, my right breast first. She put the metal marker and she told me she put the breast cancer one in there.
So again, it never resonated with me that, okay, this was could be really cancer. And so when she did my right breast and did the, I left here with the ice pack, went to my interview, And I came back the next, well, that Tuesday, they call and they’re like, Hey, Ms. Benson, we need you to come in to see the doctor.
And I’m like, sweetie, I’m a, I see the doctor Thursday. Why? It’s Tuesday. And I’m not knowing that, [00:09:00] that was, that means seeing the doctor was like, you have cancer. And so when she was holding the phone, I just knew that something wasn’t right. Um, didn’t know what wasn’t right, but I felt like it wasn’t right because if I’m due, if I’m scheduled for Thursday and you calling me at nine, I’ll never forget the time.
It was like 9:40 something. And, um, I said, well, sweetie, I live right around the corner. I can be there at noon. Um, as she had told me that appointment was available. And when I got here, um, The young lady that’s out there now and the security guy, I got here and I’m like, hey, I said, I have an appointment to see Dr. Melillo. And I’m thinking I’m going upstairs. She’s like, no, can you have a seat right here? So that’s when it was like, whoa, this is definitely not good because I can’t go upstairs. So I sat on the bench. [00:10:00] I started praying. And then I was like, okay, I know this is not good, but what is it? Because I’m curious like that.
And, um, they opened the door and then I said, well, where are we going? She said, in the doctor’s office. I said, oh, I thought our office was upstairs. She said, no, this is the main office. So when I got in there, I positioned myself to watch the door. And, uh, when Dr. Melillo came in, she had the gold envelope in her hand.
And I, she says, well, you know, I hate to be the bearer of bad news. And she said, unfortunately, on that right side is cancer, is invasive ductal carcinoma. It was stage one, which was early, which was good. Um, I said, well, what do I do? I keep telling y’all I’m new here. I had no clue of no [00:11:00] surgeon. I hadn’t, um, I didn’t know anything about oncology, um, as far as doctors and stuff here.
And so she referred me, um, to Dr. Sasaki and, um, I trusted her judgment with it. And so, um, I left out, no, before I left, what I told her, um, when she said it was invasive ductal carcinoma, I’ll never forget. I looked at her and I said, you know what? I’m not devastated. I’m crying at this point, but I’m like I’m not devastated because you was telling me I said and I didn’t understand when you kept saying don’t you worry about getting no job. We’ll make sure you get all you need and I said and you made it easier for me to hear what you’re saying to me. And she asked me because she gave me a hug and I said yes. And so, um, we hugged, we cried.
She cried with me and it just [00:12:00] felt like when that was happening, I felt so supported. Being new, here it is, this diagnosis. I have breast cancer runs in my family and on my mother’s side she has four sisters and out of the four sisters, I have an aunt that’s living with, um, breast cancer. She’s a survivor of 30 plus years.
She’s 78 now and she’s been upset because she can’t remember what type of cancer she had way back then and then I had another aunt that passed with lupus and breast cancer. So, I knew that the breast cancer was something that I probably could encounter. Um, so, that’s why I always did the mammograms. Um, I’ve lost, I lost my best friend.
We were friends at, from third grade and she had cancer and had a mastectomy but she, I didn’t know what type. She never told [00:13:00] me. And so she passed from it, so it was a big deal. Now it’s hitting me, so.
Dorothy: So Dee, you had worked all your life. You had stopped working to go to school. You’ve been in social work. Was it hard to ask for help or did, did we just move you through and that was it?
Dee: Well, for me, I had already overcome addiction, so. Back in 86, I used from 86 to 96, I was in and out of prison. I had gone to prison three times. So, I left Memphis, Tennessee and went to Seattle, Washington. Not knowing anything or anybody, the same thing I did here.
And so when I went, looking for something new and different to do. And when I got there, I started volunteering at this community center just for have something to do [00:14:00] and learn who’s doing what. And, uh, I met my mentor, Norman Johnson, and I was in a room with people. It was a Black Business Networking Group, and so they were like, introducing themselves, so I stayed in the corner, staying out the way, because I was with my friend, um, Tracy Brown, who was doing Wings That Soar at the time, and uh, they asked me, and I was like, I don’t know.
I don’t own a business, I’m just, my long term goal is to work with recovering women, recovering addicts and ex offenders, but I wanted those women, um, that program to address women that are pregnant and parenting. And so he came up and he gave me a card. I worked with him for 18 years, so. He encouraged me to go to school, so I have an AAS in human services.
I specialize in substance abuse. Um, I have a bachelors in behavior science [00:15:00] and then I went to University of Washington and I got my masters of social work. So you would take my street experience, my lived experience, and you capitulate that together with my professional. So when I meet people, it’s never been a problem because when I was using you would meet people you don’t know.
So I feel like I’d never meet a stranger and and um, so I just took that energy and I put it into being positive, learning something new to do, and um, I actually came up with the name This Girl Can. And so I did a little group and I started Teen Connect with young ladies and sharing my story. So for me, Seattle was that turnaround for me.
Dorothy: And I’m just, this is an amazing story, but now let’s go to your treatment. And you, you had double mastectomy?
Dee: I did. January the 8th. Um, I did it. When I met with [00:16:00] the, it was so funny because I met Dr. Sasaki for the first time December, November. I’ll take that back. I met her like November the 28th. I was in Memphis when I was at home for Thanksgiving when Dr. Melillo told me. And I never told my family. And I did that because I wanted to know what I was going through. I’m an only child. I’m my mama’s only child. I’m my daddy’s only child. And they’re not together though. So I’m really an only child. And I knew it was going to be a bunch of questions. So yes, I knew this side had the cancer. So when she called me about that side, I was like, how do I tell my mom, my stepdad? It just passed in August. And so I didn’t want to have people, one, overwhelming me with questions that I had no answers to.
Dorothy: Right. Well, that’s That’s pretty smart.
Dee: Yeah.
Dorothy: And it’s very thoughtful in so many ways. Yeah.
Dee: Yeah. So, and I [00:17:00] didn’t understand what I was going through. So, I needed to know. So, when I met with the doctor, it wasn’t hard for me to say, I’m going to do a double mastectomy. Um, because the whole thing was, if you saw cancer there, let’s remove it. So when they explained to me, um, this side, the ductal carcinoma side, she was like, Oh, I can’t guarantee I can get it. I said, hold up. I’m 60. Gravity ain’t my friend. Everything is dropping anyway. Okay. I did. And Dr. Sasaki says, are you sure? I said, yeah, we just, we gonna do it. I never, I never second guessed it. I never. Rethought it. It was just like instantly when I knew that I had two types of cancers running in my body. And that was the thing that I wanted to do.
Dorothy: But Dee, your background, I mean, your street background, we’ll [00:18:00] call it that. Your professional, your training. You know, all of that took an awful lot of just plain resilience. I mean, you, you carried that all the way through. It, is that natural for you? Is it something you just acquired or you built? Or, how do you get to be that resilient?
Dee: Well, one guy brought me through a lot of things. So, that was part of when I was tired of being tired of myself. Because in the 80s when, when cocaine was just fueling the communities, right, um, again I’m an only child, I didn’t go without anything. My mom was just super, um, protective. And so she taught me to be sneaky.
Yeah, she taught me to be sneaky. So she tied me, so I was [00:19:00] like a last key kid back then. She knew what time the bus came. She knew how long it took me to get home. So once she called, I would hang up and do my thing. I know she hit the corner at 4:30, so I learned that. So, I think for me, um, the resilient piece is that, um, being a person who’s gone through things, um, a lot of the things I went through by myself.
So once I checked my spirituality, I knew God brought me through it all. But my mom couldn’t talk to me about addiction. My dad couldn’t talk to me about addiction. I had no siblings that had been addicted, so they couldn’t. So for ten and a half years I had used, and then I wasn’t afraid of anything. So that made me even more crazy.
I was a rebel without a cause, right? So, um, back then, boosting and selling drugs was the “norm”. So from 86, I went to prison for the first time in [00:20:00] 91. And I got out, um, 14 months. After doing 14 months on a four year sentence. Um, cause I had stolen. $10,000 worth of jewelry. I had a theft of property over $10,000.
So that’s how crazy my, my addict was. And so again, the receipt, I was never afraid of anything. So you telling me no, that was like, oh. No, no.
Dorothy: You’ll figure it out.
Dee: I’ll figure it out a way. So that energy helped me with when I did do my turnaround, when I did go to school, they’re like, how are you working? And, and full time and going to school full time. And I was like, if I was getting high, it’s the same energy. So that’s really, when you asked me that, it’s like, I took that same negative energy and just applied it in a positive way.
Dorothy: I’m just, again, amazed [00:21:00] and, you know, the idea that you would follow a bus. You know, as we started. It’s just, I don’t know that I would have the snap to do that. I mean, what if it had just gone into a storage center or something?
Dee: I was going to ask the driver.
Dorothy: Oh. Okay.
Dee: So that bus has the words or get the information off of it.
Dorothy: Uh huh. You were just going to go up to him and say, Hey.
Dee: I don’t meet strangers. Yeah, I ask.
Dorothy: The fact that everybody here knows you, I think speaks to that. So, so your, your ultimate story for women, any woman, is there things you can go through, but they don’t define you?
Dee: Absolutely not. It’s a part of your story. It’s a part of your journey. And as you learn to heal from things, healing is first and foremost, but you heal from those things and you don’t allow those things to dictate [00:22:00] your movement or how you’re feeling.
I’m not an addict. I’ve had addict behaviors. I’ve had addict ways. Um, I’m not a person who, even with this, it is, it’s not debilitating me. And I don’t know if that’s because in my mind, I refuse to fail. So, failing is not an option for me.
Dorothy: And so what’s next for you Dee?
Dee: I don’t know, I’m learning, um, like, I’m enmeshing myself, so in Houston I’m now developing, um, networks, and uh.
Dorothy: And I think that Angels Surviving Cancer was.
Dee: That’s my first group. I tried sending emails, um, it was real interesting when I first got with my nurse navigator. I was like, hey, you know, I’m new to Houston. Where are support groups? I want to [00:23:00] be in spaces with women that I can hear their stories so I can understand what I’m going through. And when I first, um, had my surgery, I didn’t know that I was going to have lymph, that, anything about lymphedema.
And so I wear sleeves, I wear a vest, and, um, because my lymphatic system is not operating right. So, um, yeah. I never did chemo. I never had to do the radiation, but I still wanted to hear other people’s stories. So being in a space where other cancer survivors was really important. And when the navigator was giving me names and I was like, okay, now I need a black group.
I need an African American group. I need someone I can relate to who looks like me. And so she, she didn’t know I went to a lymphedema training because I’m like Dora the Explorer sometimes, right? So, I’m like, what they doing over there? Oh, and [00:24:00] so I went and I ran into Chris Noble and she told me about Angel Surviving Cancer and when I tell you, I call Miss Cynthia and she called me.
I text her and gave her my number, told her how I got her information. She called me, she says, Oh no, Chris had already told me about you, and I’m excited to meet you. And I was like, ecstatic. Because I couldn’t get in, like, other networks. I was trying to get in the Sisters Networks and all of that. And I was upset that the Navigators were not, um, educated around that it matters culturally.
Especially when you’re going through this, because this is like a disfigurement.
Dorothy: Right.
Dee: And so at first, I was angry with the navigation team. I’m very transparent, um, and I told them.
Dorothy: And you’re like the one at the hospital.
Dee: At the hospital. That navigation team over at, uh, [00:25:00] ACA, and I told them, I was like, so you just disfigure me and don’t give me no resources. And so then she hit me with the, Oh, you know, there’s people you can talk to. And I’m like, sweetie, I’ve been doing social services over 20 years. I, I know the importance of therapy. That’s, I’m looking for an addition. I’m already doing those things. So even with my background being social work, um, and being an advocate for, um, clients, right? A lot of my clients I worked with in Seattle were opioid addicted. And so they didn’t have the umph like I do. Like, they have allowed their addiction to just consume them. So, I’ve always made sure that I learn who’s doing what. And then when I find out the agency, I generally go and meet you. If I’ve talked to you a few times, I show up, Hey, I just wanted to put a face to the name.
Cause I think those that’s really important when you’re networking [00:26:00] and to be able to have that. So when I’m dealing with women, um, even here, when I came to do, um, my left biopsy, there was a Hispanic young lady. She was crying. We were in the lobby. I almost had a whole group up there, um, trying to encourage her that you can’t be afraid of, of living.
And what I mean by that is, yes, they’re saying something’s going on, but you need to know what it is so that you can address it. Because other than that, I feel like if I don’t address those things, I allow those things to kill me because it’s consuming you mentally. It’s consuming you emotionally. Then, you know, it’s going to, physically, it debilitates you. All I want to do is lay around and cry. That’s not my energy. Not at all.
Dorothy: Well, I know you’ve been an inspiration to so many. I mean, I’m, I can feel it. I want you to describe Chris Noble. So many people know her, but [00:27:00] this, this is for her. How would you describe her?
Dee: She is very high energy and our energies match. She’s very gentle when I engage with her. It was like I could feel all of her support and love. Because this teen period, Dr. Melillo, Chris, now meeting you and hearing all the things, I’m like, no, this is like a gem. Oh, thank you. This is like a gem. You guys helped save my life because when I think back and I’m like, what if they didn’t get, they wasn’t going to do that. What if I couldn’t have gotten a scholarship? What if you wasn’t funded enough? What if you had of given out your last scholarship the week before?
Dorothy: Oh, that’s giving me chills. Don’t say that.
Dee: But that’s the truth.
Dorothy: Yeah.
Dee: Because there’s other women that are like me who need to come [00:28:00] and find out, that are afraid to come and find out, right? But when they come, their biggest barrier would be not having the assets.
Dorothy: That’s it. It’s access to care.
Dee: It’s the access to care. And so because I’m so educated around that, I refuse to take no. It’s just like the same behaviors I’ve had when I was doing wrong. You don’t tell me no, because there’s gotta be a way. And when you’re talking about health, come on now, there’s too many opportunities to find out what’s going on with you. But you have to open up your mouth. And I never felt shame. And I feel like when you do have something going on, and yes you don’t have the insurance, but you have to have, um, the desire to find out what it is. You can’t be afraid of it.
Dorothy: Right.
Dee: And if you’re afraid of it, you’re gonna help kill yourself. I really believe that. [00:29:00]
Dorothy: Hey, that’s the strongest message I think you’ve sent today. I’m going to end our conversation with asking you one, one message you would have for any woman in your place. You’ve said you didn’t feel ashamed, that’s important, you have to know. What else? Anything else that that woman needs to know?
Dee: Oh, something else that I failed to mention? One of the things is, is that I didn’t have symptoms. So not having symptoms does, is, is, is, is a bad thing for you to assume that nothing is wrong.
Dorothy: And the importance of having that annual mammogram.
Dee: And so you have to, I mean, it’s, attach it to your birthday.
Dorothy: Yeah. Oh, that’s a great, yeah.
Dee: And do your annual. So that was, that was the way that I did it. It’s like, that’s a birthday present, right? You, you go annually, you go and you find out. Because if I hadn’t, uh, gone last year and waited to this year, they said it could have been [00:30:00] worse.
Dorothy: Oh, absolutely. Yeah.
Dee: Yeah.
Dorothy: All right. Great, great message. Have your mammogram on your birthday. Don’t be afraid.
Dee: Don’t be afraid.
Dorothy: Be ready to ask the questions and go through those doors.
Dee: Yep.
Dorothy: And heal.
Dee: And heal, because that’s the biggest thing.
Dorothy: That’s the biggest thing.
Dee: Yes, it is.
Dorothy: Thank you so much, Dee, for being with us.
Dee: Thank you for having me.
Dorothy: Oh, yes.
Dee: And I am unapologetically topless. And I love my life.
Dorothy: Oh, that’s wonderful. Yeah. Wow.
Dee: Thanks for having me.
Dorothy: Yeah.
Post-Credits: Thank you for joining us today on Let’s Talk About Your Breasts. This podcast is produced by Speke Podcasting and brought to you by The Rose. Visit therose.org to learn more about our organization. Subscribe to our podcasts. Share episodes with friends and join the conversation on social media using #LetsTalkAboutYourBreasts. We welcome your feedback and suggestions. Consider supporting The Rose. Your gift can make [00:31:00] the difference to a person in need. And remember, self care is not selfish. It’s essential.
