Dorothy: [00:00:00] Terri Snider is a breast cancer survivor, but she calls herself a thriver. Her dad, the late Bob Domec, was on our board for 15 years and he was one of the most wonderful supporters we ever had. He was also her best cheering section. And Terri’s going to give us a specific reason why staying positive is so important to surviving breast cancer. She’s also going to talk about what it’s like to be someone facing cancer after 20 years of the initial diagnosis. And she’s finally going to show us why “can’t never could do nothing”. Help us share the mission of The Rose by subscribing to Let’s Talk About Your Breast. on your favorite podcast platform and by sharing with your family and friends.
Let’s Talk About Your Breast. A different kind of podcast presented to you by The Rose, the Breast Center of Excellence and a Texas treasure. You’re going to hear frank [00:01:00] discussions about tough topics and you’re going to learn why knowing about your breast could save your life.
Terri: My name is Terri Snider and I am a breast cancer survivor. Thriver.
Dorothy: Thriver, yes. So, Terri, you know, you hold a very special place in the heart of The Rose here. And, uh, most of it’s because you’re an amazing woman and we never know what to expect from you. But some of it is because of your dad. And, uh, he was one of our Uh, incredible supporters.
He was on our board. He was a donor. He was a keep everyone in line type person. He proofed everything we ever printed and had such an eye for that. But, I suspect that Bob Domec was not always the easiest dad to have. No. So, tell us about when you were diagnosed and, you know, always think about your diagnosis being at Christmas.
Terri: Yes.
Dorothy: Being that time of year, it was a gift you had not planned.
Terri: [00:02:00] Right. Well, it started six months before that.
Dorothy: Okay.
Terri: In May when, um, my husband found the mass and we went to the doctor. We got a mammogram and ultrasound and we had not told anybody in the family because I just didn’t see the need to worry them.
And at that time they said there’s nothing to worry about, you know, come back in six months. And I did. And then they said, Oh, we need to have a biopsy. Well, I knew that that was not going to get past Dad. So, Thanksgiving Day, I sort of patted his leg on, patted him on the leg after dinner and was like, Hey, you know that bump that I found back in May?
Well, then his whole world changed. Everything changed. And so, um, the following Monday, I was going to the general surgeon who said he could not get me in until after January. So I called dad. He said unacceptable, literally hung the phone up on me, called me back in 10 minutes and said, I will meet [00:03:00] you at Dixie’s office at four o’clock.
Be there. Okay. Um, and that’s how it all started. So, um, We did the breast exam the following week, we did the biopsy, and January 2nd of 2003, we got the diagnosis.
Dorothy: Alright, so you knew you had something going on, but you were told to wait six months, and then when it was time for a biopsy, now tell me again, had you already had your biopsy and you knew you had to have surgery? No?
Terri: No. No, um, when they came back and said, we, we have something to worry about, we need a biopsy. So, um, the insurance company sent me to a general surgeon and let me just point out at this point, this guy had my husband and I believing that I was dying, that there was really no point in getting treatment, but if I wanted the biopsy, but he wasn’t available to do it until after the first of the year, which was.
about 37 days. Yeah. So when I called dad, he said nope. And so we went and saw [00:04:00] Dixie and Got the ball rolling and turned out it was a good thing because my cancer was, uh, lobular carcinoma and extremely progressive.
Dorothy: Oh my goodness. So you’re talking about, uh, Dr. Dixie Melillo, who at that time was doing a lot of surgeries, a lot of biopsies.
And now your insurance was giving you just a little bit of an issue then about who you could go to, when you could go, and, uh, I know you had to fight that battle too.
Terri: Yes, and then, um, I finally just told them, look, um, I’m, I’m doing this, you can pay for it, I can see you in court, it doesn’t matter, you know, I’m sick, and, and, and I need help, and you can either help me, or Not, but I’m getting help.
So, and then, um, I went to Baylor Methodist and then their oncologist surgeon called the insurance company and fought it out with them and then after that we didn’t have any problems, but the initial start off was ridiculous that we, you know, that we had to wait for so long to get something done. I mean, I should have not had to wait that [00:05:00] six months to begin with, but then to have to wait another almost a 42 days before we can even have surgery.
I mean, it was insane.
Dorothy: And so, Terri, we’re talking 20 years ago, and we’re talking at a time where, honestly, still, 20 years ago, there was so much we didn’t know about breast cancer, so much we didn’t know about treatment. But now, after you had your surgery, you had a complication that is every woman’s nightmare who’s ever dealt with breast cancer. You want to share a little bit of that story with us?
Terri: So the first complication turned out that my tumor was barely a stage two. But at the time they were doing something called central node mapping. And my central node was so far gone with cancer they could see it with the naked eye.
So they took out 37 lymph nodes and 33 tested positive. which put me at a stage 3c, basically right at the terminal line. So, then they were confused how the lymph [00:06:00] nodes got so far gone. So, it was aggressive chemo. I did 6 months of chemo and I did, uh, 9 weeks for radiation. And then I did 10 years of preventive chemo.
And more complications, and I ended up doing 10 surgeries in 8 years. For lumpectomies and scar tissues and and other things. So yeah.
Dorothy: Oh my goodness. And now I’m thinking about the lymphedema.
Terri: Yes.
Dorothy: And I know that is a Debilitating it is Issue to have after you’ve been through everything else So just describe for our listeners what that actually means and what happens during.
Terri: So when you have lymphedema basically, it means that Your extremity fills up with fluid, and it stays there because there’s no lymph nodes to introduce it back into your lymphatic system.
So, you’re constantly swolled. Um, there are things to do, but it’s rigorous. It’s, it’s, go to therapy, do wrapping, do pumping, wear [00:07:00] sleeves. It’s, it’s, if I were to do it, it would probably take about three and a half to four hours of my day every day.
Dorothy: Every day.
Terri: Just to do this. Um, and in texas, it’s even worse because it’s hot.
So it makes the lymphedema even, even worse. Um, there’s a couple of procedures that they do, but they don’t really seem to be very effective and not anything that I did one. It worked for about a year. The other one, I’m just not even interested in doing because It would just cause too many other problems in other parts of the body.
Dorothy: So now you’re talking about your arm being all swollen and very difficult to Does it actually stop you from riding or working with it or doing anything with it?
Terri: Um, no, not really. I don’t let it I paddle on a dragon boat and I paddle on both sides. I skydive I don’t scuba dive, but I do pretty much just anything else that I want to do because I don’t let it hinder me.
And that’s an important thing that I learned from dad is, uh, positivity. You can’t be negative. [00:08:00] Uh, his famous saying was, “can’t never could do nothing.” So,
Dorothy: Say that again?
Terri: “can’t never could do nothing.”
Dorothy: Ah.
Terri: So we were not allowed to use the word can’t in our house. You could say try, I tried, but I didn’t succeed or it didn’t work, but you could never ever say can’t because he would come back and go, “can’t never could do nothing.”
So I do everything that I want to do and I don’t, I don’t let it hinder me. And the biggest problem with lymphedema is doctors will tell you, you can’t do this, you can’t do that. And unfortunately women listen to that. I did for five years and that’s how I ended up with stage four lymphedema. If I’d have just been active, like Frances Arzu had told me about, I wouldn’t be this bad.
But most women, unfortunately, cling to every word that those doctors say, and they don’t know. Their body’s not going through it. So they’re just holding on to, well, what’s going to keep me safe? And the word can’t is what they feel like keeps them safe.
Dorothy: So you talked about Frances, and she was the [00:09:00] Founder, director, leader of, uh, Pink Phurree.
And I know you, you touched upon that just a minute, but explain to us what Pink Phurree was, did, still is.
Terri: So, Pink Phurree is, um, all female cancer survivor team now and locally we compete as an all female survivor team. It used to be just breast, but now we have ovarian, cervix, colon, um, and then internationally we compete as an all female breast cancer survivor team.
Um, and I don’t really know how to explain it, so google it, but it’s just, it’s a 40 foot long boat that has 20 paddlers. A Sears person and a drummer, and it’s brutal. It’s, it’s, it’s not, it’s not for, You’re actually rowing. We’re actually paddling. And we, we paddle, um, we have paddled up to 2, 000 meters in races.
Uh, we go to paddle camp and we’ve paddled up to 12 miles in a day. Um, but the most important thing that it does is it doesn’t [00:10:00] matter what stage of your life you’re in, what stage of treatment or past treatment that you’re in, you can get on that boat and somebody on that boat has been there, done it, knows about it, and you don’t even have to say a word.
You just, you just get on the boat and you have phenomenal support. I mean, just, just. without even having to talk about it. They understand everything you’re going through. Everything you’ve been through. Everything you’re about to face. And it’s the most wonderful thing in the world. I mean, it’s, it’s, I don’t even know how to describe it unless you can, I can’t even compare it to going to church, really.
Honestly, because people at church, they’re there for you, they pray for you, they love you, but they don’t understand. And these women understand everything.
Dorothy: Wow.
Terri: everything.
Dorothy: That’s a great comparison.
Terri: Yes. And we do things for, you know, someone’s going through treatment. We will go and do their laundry. We’ll go help with their animals.
We’ll go grocery shopping. Whatever our need is, we have 20 women behind us supporting us, you [00:11:00] know, um, so you have that in addition to your family, so you just can’t really ask for much more support than that.
Dorothy: Well now, I don’t know many families that were as supportive as the Domec family during your time, so give us some examples of what happened during then.
Terri: Um, Okay, so dad’s positivity, and I tell people the story just because I love it. Um, probably after my third chemo treatment, I was feeling really down. And, I didn’t call him or mom the whole week because I knew I would cry. So, finally, Saturday mom called, and of course I started crying. So she said, hold on, your dad wants to talk to you.
And Dorothy, I wasn’t crying, I was wailing. I was just bawling. And he goes, whoa, why are you crying? I said, I don’t know. And he goes, well, I didn’t call to hear that. He goes, I called to talk strategy, what did the doctor say?
Oh, well he said, dot, dot, dot. I mean, literally, just His positive seed right then and there just stopped it, you know, um, They took my kids to school, they picked my kids up from school, They did a field day [00:12:00] with my kids, they did field trips with my kids, grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, you name it, they did it.
And dad went to every chemo treatment with me. And what’s funny is when we would walk in, everybody would go, Bob! Okay, Terri’s here too, but he would go and I would just sit in the chair and so he would be there for the women who didn’t have anybody. And at first I said, Dad, I don’t, I don’t, I can do this by myself.
I cannot imagine sitting in that chair by myself having poison pumped into my body and not have anybody around. He would help him to the bathroom, get him magazines, get him water, pillows, whatever they needed. He was there the whole time I’m sitting in the corner. He had his eye on me, but he was helping other people too.
Dorothy: Oh, that sounds so much like Bob. Alright, now tell us about the day that your family decided they were going to go through the experience of not having any hair. How did [00:13:00] that all come about?
Terri: This was a stage. So I did not know that my dad and my husband were talking at the time. So, um, I had long hair then like I do now.
And they recommended, because my children were young, to cut it short. So, that was a whole other story. So, we went and got it cut short, and my husband called my dad. So, and you know daddy’s hair was long, so he cut his hair short. So then day 10 my hair started falling out so Stacy called daddy and daddy buzzed his hair and then that night Stacy shaved my head so then daddy shaved his head and then Stacy came home from work and he had no hair and then Bobby came a couple of days later he had no hair and then our two boys wanted to shave their head and I said no no so I sent him to Louisiana to stay for a couple of weeks and when we went to pick him up Of course, I hadn’t seen him, so I went and woke him up at 4.
30 in the morning, and the first thing they said was, Can we shave our head now? And so, that’s how that all started. And then, Dad decided that we needed to put [00:14:00] on matching t shirts and go to the mall and have our picture taken. So, we did.
Dorothy: Okay, so it was your dad, your brother, your husband, your boys?
Terri: Both my boys.
Dorothy: And you.
Terri: And me.
Dorothy: All in this photo shoot that is, everyone’s very bald.
Terri: Yes.
Dorothy: And what did the t shirt say?
Terri: The t shirt said, “Got Rita’s”. From Casa Ole.
Dorothy: Ah, right.
Terri: So, and a funny story about that is I told my daughter, I want you to go buy me the biggest hoop earrings that you can find. She said, why? I said, because I want everybody to know that I’m the girl in the picture.
And she started laughing. I said, what’s so funny? She goes, you’ll figure it out. Well, sure enough I did. I was the only grown up that didn’t have facial hair.
Dorothy: Oh.
Terri: So it’s pretty obvious I was the girl.
Dorothy: Pretty obvious. You’re the girl in the picture.
Terri: I was the girl in the picture, yeah.
Dorothy: So what other kind of support did you have during that time from this incredible family that was totally there for you?
Terri: Um, you know, there’s just so much and it was extended to my husband’s family as well, um, and [00:15:00] my brother’s wife’s family as well. I mean, We have a great dynamic. You know, there’s my family, Stacy’s family, and then Bobby’s wife, Kim’s family, and they, same thing, Kim’s mom would go and pick my kids up from school when I was too sick to do it.
Um, Kim would come over and cook dinner, help the boys with their homework, just what, whatever I needed. You know, um, her sister babysat a couple of times, just, Whatever I needed, I just pick up the phone and call and they were there.
Dorothy: Yeah. So now this was 20 years ago. We’re going to fast forward to today and, and now what’s going on?
Terri: So now my lobular carcinoma has metastasized to my left orbital socket in the left side of my skull. Um, which anytime you have a metastasis, which I did not know until now, is automatic stage four.
Dorothy: Oh.
Terri: So it will not go away. Um, I will be in treatment the rest of my life. Um, and I just gonna go on living my life.
I just, I, [00:16:00] I’m, I’m doing a, an oral chemo. It’s um, we do six pills a day for seven days and then we get seven days off. So basically it’s 42 pills a week, which is a lot. So, never in my life have I had to set a timer to take pills, but it’s important that, that we time it.
Dorothy: You said it has metastasized to your eye.
Terri: My left eye.
Dorothy: And how did you even know that was going on?
Terri: Um, so, and it’s been going on for over a year, which I didn’t even realize. Um, but my eye just started feeling pressure. So I thought, well, I, I need to go get an eye exam. So we went to the eye doctor and, and he said, um, I think you need to go to the ophthalmologist.
So we went and, um, he said, I really can’t see anything. So then he sent me to an ENT. Who did a no scope, couldn’t see anything, he goes, so I want you to do a CT scan. So we did. And he said, oh, well, we see something. So they sent me to an ophthalmologist [00:17:00] specialist, which I don’t know what the difference is.
So then we did an MRI. And just to touch back on the lack of thought process from doctors. So He, um, he was all over the place about what we were going to do, um, it was a tumor, it was benign, he’s seen these so many times, and he was, we were going to do surgery and he was going to take it all out. Well, he didn’t.
He did a biopsy. So I went in there thinking this tumor was coming out, only to come out and find out that he only took a snippet of it. So two weeks later when we went back for the follow up, he didn’t even have my results from my biopsy.
Dorothy: What?
Terri: And I drove all the way to Keenwood. And so his nurse says, um, she did vision tests and I had her take a stitch out and she said, Okay, well if you don’t have any questions for the doctor, you’re good to go. I said, No, I want to talk to the doctor. I want to know where my biopsy report is. And she said, Well, I probably have it in an email, I’ve just been so busy I [00:18:00] haven’t had a chance to look.
Dorothy: Oh my gosh.
Terri: And I said, You, you realize this is my health you’re talking about, right? I said, I want to talk to the doctor. So he, of course, pretended to get all mad and call her and yadda, yadda, yadda, we still didn’t have the results. That was on a Thursday. Um, they called me at work the following Tuesday, which was the day after Labor Day, and told me over the phone that it had metastasized to my orbital socket.
Dorothy: Ugh.
Terri: Over the phone.
Dorothy: Ugh. Terri.
Terri: So, now they’re calling me and saying, oh, hey, you still owe us money. I’m like, I’m gonna keep owing you that money because I’ve paid you over a thousand dollars for this. Nah. Send it to collections. You’re not getting any more money out of me, sorry.
Dorothy: So, Terri, you’ve had to learn how to stand up for yourself.
Terri: Yes.
Dorothy: In more ways than one.
Terri: Yes.
Dorothy: Yes, throughout all this. But now, after spending 10 years in chemotherapy, and all of the different surgeries, I mean, I can’t imagine. Here it is, 20 years later, and you’re diagnosed again. [00:19:00] This is, it is still breast cancer as the primary, right?
Terri: Yes. It’s the exact same type of cancer.
Dorothy: Yeah. So, What was your first reaction?
Terri: Holy crap, excuse my language. Holy crap, like, are you serious? Um, and I wasn’t even mad. You know, really, I wasn’t mad for me, I was mad for my kids. Because I thought, little rewind there, dad, was diagnosed with multiple myeloma the year before. So they did me with Ken with breast cancer, then their dad with multiple myeloma.
And when we thought we were in the clear, here we go again. So I, I was really mad for them ’cause I thought that’s really a lot to ask of kids. Um, but you can’t get mad. I mean, really, like dad said, why not you? I mean, yeah, he said you’re special ’cause you’re my daughter, but you’re not special to cancer.
You know, nobody’s special to cancer, you know?
Dorothy: Right.
Terri: Um, so. I took a couple of days to be mad and scream and cuss and all the usual, and then I just said, Okay, what do we do next? You know, [00:20:00] um, I promised my mom I would fight until I can’t. Um,
Dorothy: It’s okay.
Terri: This time we’re shooting for quality of life. The first time around, my kids were 8, 9, and 16. I was definitely not done being a mom. So I was going for quality. I was going for as long as I could possibly go. But they’re all grown now and they understand now I want to have a good life. I don’t want to be sick all the time. I don’t want to be bedridden. I don’t want them having to take care of me.
I don’t want to spend time in the hospital. I just want to spend time living my life, and that’s what I’m going to do. And as long as the medication lets me do it, that’s what I’m going to do. Planning on going to France in 2026.
Dorothy: All right. All right. We, we affirm you’re going to make that.
Terri: Yes, the team is going there for international breast cancer competition.
Dorothy: Oh, wow.
Terri: Yeah, so every four years, they do it every four years like the Olympics. So, um, in 2018, we went to Italy. Um, and then we were supposed to go to New Zealand, but they pushed it back a year and then it got [00:21:00] too expensive and not enough team. But we’ve got a fantastic group of women now, so we’re shooting for, for France in 2026.
Dorothy: Super. Congratulations.
Terri: I’m excited. So that’s my goal.
Dorothy: So. Quality versus quantity.
Terri: Yes.
Dorothy: You’re, you’re going to make the best of every day.
Terri: Yes.
Dorothy: And heck with the rest of it.
Terri: Yes. So I tell myself, you know, my dad told me a long time ago, you have to find one little seed of positivity. Something, if it’s, the grass is green, the sky is blue, it’s raining, whatever it is, you find that one little seed and let it take hold.
And it, and it’s true. So every morning I start my morning off with today belongs to me and I’m going to be the best me I can be. And cancer, you can just bite my butt. Because, you know, I’m just, I’m not gonna let cancer take anything else away from me.
Dorothy: Wow.
Terri: Yeah, I’m just not.
Dorothy: I love that.
Terri: Yeah.
Dorothy: Yeah.
Terri: So, I told my trainer, I said, this morning, Cancer, I woke up and I wasn’t going to go to the gym and cancer’s like, okay, let’s see what you got.
So I said, well, you know what? I got all I can give. Just give it. [00:22:00] And I got more to give, so just come on. So I got up and went to the gym at 5 o’clock this morning.
Dorothy: Well, good for you. Wow, you’re, you’re, you’re rowing in the Pink Phurree boat and you’re going to gym every day and now you’re still in chemo though, right?
Terri: Oh yes, I’ll be in chemo the rest of my life. So today was day 7 of round 3, so I get, I get 7 days off. And then I go back again for seven days. And Bobby is the one, uh, going to the doctor’s appointments with me. Well, it’s Bobby and Mom and Stephanie. You know, last time it was Mom and Dad and Stacy when he could go, but now it’s, it’s Bobby and Stephanie and Mom, so.
Dorothy: And how important is that, really?
Terri: Oh, it’s so important, because, um, You can be the strongest person on the planet, but when you have to talk about bad stuff, you don’t want to be alone in the room. And it doesn’t even matter how fabulous, because I have a fabulous oncologist, Dr. Romali. Um, he is the funniest person.
But, he, no holds barred, he doesn’t, and he knows, don’t sugar coat it, just give it to me so I know what I’m dealing [00:23:00] with. Um, but still, it’s important to have people around when you’re getting bad news. Um, well, mostly because you’re not hearing it.
Dorothy: Right.
Terri: You’re hearing wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. So you have people there that can hear it, and then to have stephanie, who’s a nurse, can understand it, and then explain it to the rest of us.
Dorothy: Right.
Terri: So that’s invaluable. I mean, if, if, if nothing else, if you or diagnosed and you don’t have a family member, call the Rose. We’ll send somebody, or y’all send somebody.
Dorothy: Yeah, we’ll figure it out.
Terri: Yeah, we’ll figure it out.
Dorothy: But you know, I know a lot of women who don’t want to inconvenience folks.
Terri: Yes.
Dorothy: Who think it’s like, oh, I’ve done this before.
You know, I, I, it’s another treatment. Mm hmm. So, how would you, I mean, and some women don’t have a choice, that is true. But how would you encourage that woman if you do have a choice? What would you say to her to, to? I help her realize that she does matter that much.
Terri: Because [00:24:00] if you have somebody going with you, and it’s important to note, it has to be a positive person. You can’t have a negative person because you’ll just drown in the negativity. But I think I explained it to my husband best like this because he. isn’t a people person. And when he was sick, I said, you have depression. He goes, No, I don’t. I said, When you can’t get out of bed, you have depression. I said, You need to go to the mall and walk around the mall because just being in the physical presence of other people, whether you know them or not, is going to pick up your mood.
It’s going to give you something to look forward to. Um, so you need that person. So look for that person. If they offer. A lot of times people say, if there’s anything I can do, it’s usually out of courtesy, but I found when you’re sick, it’s genuine. So when they say, let me help you, let them help you, because it’s genuine, they’re not doing it because they feel sorry for you, or they pity you. It’s genuine concern for your well being, so let them help, [00:25:00] and if you, there has to be some, a lot of churches do support like that, where, you know, if you, um, don’t have somebody to go with you, they have, Members of the congregation that, that spend their time doing that, you know, so seek that out, find something, someone that can help you out, because it, it really will make all the difference in the world.
Dorothy: Right.
Terri: Because, like I said, I could not imagine sitting there, getting pumped full of poison, and not have my dad there, even if he wasn’t sitting next to me. It was fun to just watch him. You know, do his thing.
Dorothy: Do his thing, and that was so much like him. And now, besides this decision that you made about quality versus quantity, and you’ve told us a lot, but what else is different about this diagnosis as opposed to 20 years ago?
Terri: I’m less afraid.
Dorothy: Oh.
Terri: I am less afraid, um, because my kids are grown, um, and if I don’t feel good, I’m less afraid to say I don’t feel good. Um, you know, before when they were young, I never wanted [00:26:00] to say, I don’t feel good because they worry. Um, but I’m less afraid about everything. I’m, I’m gonna do everything I can do to be healthy. I’m working out, eating, eating right, taking my supplements. Um, but I’m just less afraid and I’m just gonna, I’m just gonna live.
Dorothy: Well, that’s encouraging.
Terri: Yeah. I’m just gonna live.
Dorothy: I mean, that is a super positive message for anyone having to deal with a reoccurrence.
Terri: And if you’re afraid, talk to somebody.
If I’d have known back then, Because even dad being the most positive person on the planet, but he didn’t know. So, I encourage women to find someone who does know, because it will make all the difference in the world. It really will.
Dorothy: Right, someone who’s been there. Someone who at least understands. Yeah.
Good advice. Yeah. Good advice. Now, you’re still working?
Terri: Yes.
Dorothy: Yes. And still going through the chemo?
Terri: Mm hmm.
Dorothy: Colleagues at work?
Terri: Fabulous.
So, I was at work, like I said, I was at work when they called, and of course I immediately broke down and started crying, and I turned around and my entire department was standing [00:27:00] behind me just going, what can we do?
Um, you know, my bosses, um, when you need to work from home, work from home. Um, you know, if you’re too sick to come to work, you know, let us know. If you need help with your job, let, I mean, everything, just anything and everything that I need, they are there. And. So, I had to tell my bosses and I was telling my female boss, she’s my immediate boss, and then our other boss walked in the office and her and I are crying and she goes, did you tell him?
And I said, no. So, I started to tell him. So, then he started crying. So, we had to close the door because we had this huge cry fest in my boss’s office, but he’s, he’s a really great man. He just, he said, I don’t understand what you’re going through, but I want to help you in any way we can. So.
Dorothy: Wow. That just, once again. says a lot about having that kind of support. And, and you know, but Terri, you’re different now than you were 20 years ago.
Terri: Yes, I am.
Dorothy: So, tell us in a, how would you describe the difference in [00:28:00] you right now?
Terri: I am stronger. I’m a much stronger person. Um, I stand up for myself. Um, I believe in fighting. Um, I believe that we are all entitled to good medical care and more importantly, I’m entitled to question my doctors.
If I do not think that you know what you’re talking about, then I’m going to question you. Um, because they’re looking at it from a liability standpoint and not from a family standpoint. So, you know, if, if my doctor 20 years ago would have thought of me as his mother, his daughter, his cousin, his sister, um, we wouldn’t have waited six months.
He would have said, let’s, let’s bring this in now. Do this like Dixie and you let’s let’s not wait. Let’s let’s go further. Yeah, you know
Dorothy: So but the other side of that is that if you don’t understand something that doctor saying to you. You have every right to get a better explanation.
Terri: Yes.
Dorothy: Every right to keep asking those questions.
Terri: Yes.
Dorothy: And [00:29:00] that’s Sometimes the only bit of control we have when we’re in a bad situation.
Terri: And don’t Google.
Dorothy: And don’t Google. I know every single guest I’ve had has said that, but now you, seriously, I know you must have.
Terri: I did, and it scared the bejeebies out of me.
Dorothy: Yeah.
Terri: Um, and it’s funny because Dr. Romali said, you Googled, didn’t you?
Yes. He said, don’t Google. He said, um, I will tell you whatever you want to know, and if you don’t like my answer, um, I will refer you. And he has been very diligent, um, I will say. He went the whole nine yards. He didn’t say, Okay, you have cancer. This is what we’re going to do. He said, let’s meet with a neurologist.
Let’s get him to look at everything else. They did a spinal tap and then He said, I, I don’t know if radiation is an option, but I’m not a radiologist. So let’s schedule an appointment with a radiologist and let them, he, he didn’t take it upon himself to have all of the answers. So he brought in a team of doctors that can answer the questions that we [00:30:00] needed answers to.
And it turns out that radiation is maybe a possibility.
Dorothy: Ooh.
Terri: But he’s, like he said, I’m not 100 percent sure, not my field. So, you know, you need to find a doctor like that. One that’s willing to. My ophthalmologist specialist talked a lot about himself. Like, I did this and I did that and that should have been the first red flag.
Go, um, you care more about yourself than anything else. So you need to find a doctor that’s willing to work with other doctors for your better benefit. You know, for the benefit of you, not me. For the practice or or anything else just right for you as an individual patient because every patient is different.
Dorothy: So so many clues you have about the care you’re getting.
I I don’t think i’ve ever Really heard any of our guests talk about I saw this I saw that and my doctor, you know, we we’re we’re have that. Um, Unfortunately, we still have that kind of Syndrome of everything they say is the truth is [00:31:00] the you know gospel. We can’t veer from it But you’ve learned over the years that you can ask, can question.
Terri: Well let me ask you this, how fast changing is cancer?
Dorothy: Ah, very.
Terri: So how can they possibly have all of the answers all of the time?
Dorothy: True.
Terri: And it’s not just cancer, every disease. How fast changing is it? So if it’s changing that fast, there’s no way that you can have all the answers all the time.
Dorothy: Right. And there’s so many new things coming in.
Terri: Yes.
Dorothy: I’m excited to know that radiation may be a option for you. That’s good.
Terri: Targeted radiation, they did not have that 20 years ago.
Dorothy: Ooh.
Terri: So I was radiated because of the amount of lymph nodes from the bottom of my jawline all the way down to mid thigh.
Dorothy: Wow.
Terri: For nine weeks.
Dorothy: Hmm.
Terri: So imagine the radiation burn.
Dorothy: Yes.
Terri: And so many, and then I contracted shingles on the same side.
Dorothy: Oh.
Terri: And I was, I thought, [00:32:00] okay, we’ll just stop. And they said, if we stop, we start all over again. I went, oh no, we don’t. We just keep going. So my husband went out and bought satin sheets, cut holes, and stapled them together so I’d have something to wear.
Dorothy: Oh my gosh. Oh.
Terri: That’s so, you just have to be tough and. Just remember, can’t never could do nothing, just, and windows don’t roll up or roll down, that cracks me up. Dad’s saying, can’t never could do nothing, and windows, raise and lower, they don’t roll.
Dorothy: Well, I never heard that one.
Terri: Me either. Like, Dad, can you roll the window down? No, but I can lower it. So, always a funny guy.
Dorothy: Yes, he was. I bet you miss him now.
Terri: I do. It’s been almost five years, I can’t believe.
Dorothy: Yeah.
Yeah. He’d be right there, but I kind of feel like he’s already right there.
Terri: Oh, he is already right there.
Dorothy: Even though he’s not maybe helping everybody else with their stuff, but he’s there. He’s there.
Terri: Yeah. I can, well, and it’s funny because I’ll be at the gym working out and I’m like, Oh, this sucks. And I’ll have [00:33:00] my earbud in and all of a sudden one of dad’s favorite songs will come on my Spotify. I’m like, okay, dad, I got, got the message.
Dorothy: Got the message.
Terri: Got the message. I’m headed to the treadmill.
Dorothy: So Terri, thank you for being so open. I mean, one of the things that. We’ve really tried to do with this podcast is to not gloss over anything. Any part of treatment, any part of that diagnosis. Because, when you know someone else has been there, like you said, or when you know that they understand what you’re talking about, makes all the difference in the world.
And not everybody has the easiest time of this.
Terri: No. Um, I don’t know if you remember, but back in 2003, uh, the Rose sponsored a mind body spirit class.
Dorothy: Mm hmm.
Terri: And, uh, Dad signed me up. He didn’t ask, he just said, Oh, by the way, I signed you up. And the perfect example of positivity is there was this one woman in the class, I don’t even unfortunately remember her name, but nothing she said was positive, not a single [00:34:00] word.
And, you know, you had, I don’t know, 20 women in the room with different experiences trying to talk to her, and she just kept coming back, negative, negative. She did not make it the 12 weeks of the class.
Dorothy: Oh, my goodness.
Terri: So everybody else made it. But she did not. And I think, I think that’s when the whole seed of positivity really kicked in.
I thought, okay, wow. Yeah, there’s there’s some truth to that.
Dorothy: There is.
Terri: Absolutely.
Dorothy: Never know how much.
Terri: Never know. And I mean, if you look around for three minutes, you will find somebody That has a situation worse than yours, and if you look for 10 minutes, you’re gonna see how severe their situation is. I mean, always, so.
Dorothy: Any other advice for someone going through a reoccurrence?
Terri: Don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid. Just live. Just live no matter what. I mean, this is my time now, and that’s, that’s what my family says. This is your time. When I went to a Bible retreat a [00:35:00] couple of weeks ago, um, one of the questions that, that was put to us is, Do you feel like you put yourself first?
And my answer was no.
Because for so long I was first. Now I feel like it’s my family’s turn. But my family’s like, no, it’s your turn. It’s your turn to live. So I’m going to live the best life that I can live.
Dorothy: And you’re going to be on that boat.
Terri: I am.
Dorothy: 2026.
Terri: I am.
Dorothy: Paddling away.
Terri: Yes.
Dorothy: And winning that race.
Terri: Yes. I’m excited.
Dorothy: Yes. We see that for you.
Terri: Yep. I’m excited. So, you know, we miss Frances obviously, but, um, you know, Kathy was on the team too.
Dorothy: Yeah.
Terri: So, and then I have another first cousin on the team.
Dorothy: Oh.
Terri: Yeah. So, unfortunately, we made it a family affair, but. And the thing about my cancer, so Kathy’s cancer, she’s my first cousin. Hers was hereditary from her mother’s side. Um, and then my cousin that’s on the team now, my first cousin, and we’re all connected from our dads. And well, Kathy’s dad and my [00:36:00] dad and her mom. My cancer and Betsy’s cancer, completely random. There’s no hereditary genetics to it at all.
Dorothy: Well, that just reemphasizes, you know, don’t, don’t think you’re safe just because someone in your family hasn’t had cancer or that you’re not, uh, you have done the genetic testing and.
And it’s negative.
Terri: Yeah. It goes to show, cancer’s changing every day.
Dorothy: Every day.
Terri: Now women are being diagnosed that have no genetic history at all.
Dorothy: At all.
Terri: No ties to it at all.
Dorothy: You’re a perfect example.
Terri: It’s a bad surprise to wake up to, but you can get through it.
Dorothy: Yes.
Terri: You have to think, you have to know.
Dorothy: Yes. I think of all the points you made today, uh, Terri, that positive attitude, that looking for something.
Terri: Yes.
Dorothy: Better. That.
Terri: Every day.
Dorothy: Being willing to put yourself first. All of those things go a long ways.
Terri: It’s important.
Dorothy: Ask for help.
Terri: It is important.
Dorothy: Yeah.
Terri: Because you [00:37:00] cannot do this alone.
Dorothy: And you don’t roll windows down.
Terri: No, and you don’t roll windows down. They lower and raise.
Dorothy: Thank you.
Terri: I don’t know why that always stuck in my head.
Dorothy: Thank you, Terri. Thank you you for sharing. And, and, uh, you know, we know you’re going to make all this through.
It’ll be,
Terri: it’s going to be a fight, but I’m ready for it.
Dorothy: You’re ready for it. You sure are.
Terri: So.
Dorothy: All right. Thank you. Well, thank you for having me.
Post-Credits: Thank you for joining us today on Let’s Talk About Your Breasts. This podcast is produced by Speke Podcasting and brought to you by The Rose. Visit therose.Org to learn more about our organization, subscribe to our podcast, share episodes with friends and join the conversation on social media, using hashtag #Let’sTalkAboutYourBreasts.
We welcome your feedback and suggestions. Consider supporting The Rose. Your gift can make the difference to a person in need. And remember self care is not selfish. It’s essential.[00:38:00]
