Dorothy: [00:00:00] So today we’re talking to Judy Pareya, volunteer of The Rose, breast cancer survivor, and most of all, our Shrimp Boil champion. She’s here to tell us about the Shrimp Boil, but she’s also here to share her story as a patient. She came to The Rose for years as an insured woman. And then her husband lost his job, and they lost their insurance, and that was when she was diagnosed.
I was always impressed that Judy continued to do her mammograms no matter what, and she knew that if she came to The Rose, she would be taken care of, and that’s exactly what we did. Judy did her best to stay positive, keep her family from worrying. In fact, her diagnosis came on her wedding anniversary.
But as Judy would, she didn’t tell her husband because she wanted it to be a fun day for her and her husband. Judy’s been a survivor for 24 years now, and she’s been a [00:01:00] volunteer at The Rose for just about that long. Help me welcome Judy and hear her story about why a diagnosis of breast cancer turned her into a champion of the Shrimp Boil.
When you subscribe to our show you help us grow. Someone you know may need to hear this story. So please share with your family and friends and consider supporting our mission. Your donation can help save the life of an uninsured woman.
Let’s Talk About Your Breast. A different kind of podcast presented to you by The Rose. the Breast Center of Excellence and a Texas Treasure. You’re going to hear frank discussions about tough topics and you’re going to learn why knowing about your breast could save your life.
Judy, thank you so much for being with us today.
Judy: Thanks for inviting me.
Dorothy: You know, your history with The Rose [00:02:00] starts long before the Shrimp Boil, which we’re going to talk about. But tell us when you first came to The Rose.
Judy: I can’t tell you the year that I first came to The Rose because I always came here for my mammograms. But in the year 2000, I came in for just a regular yearly mammogram and was called back. and said there was something suspicious. I panicked because at that time we had no insurance. My husband had worked for Armco Steel for almost 20 years and they closed down and we were left without insurance and I was horrified.
I didn’t know what I was going to do. It was very scary. And just in a blink of an eye, y’all grabbed me and said, no, here’s what we do and took me through all the steps of being diagnosed and never charged me a penny. And I thank you for my life to this day.
Dorothy: [00:03:00] Oh, Judy, of course, of course, that’s, that’s what we do. But you know what I remember is that you weren’t insured, but you still were going to go get that annual mammogram.
Judy: Oh, absolutely.
Dorothy: And you know, that was just something. That we didn’t see very often. Usually the uninsured woman would come in with a problem. You know, it wouldn’t be just for their screening. And I thought, now what would have really moved Judy to spend that money coming in thinking, you know, you’re, you’re going to have to do something with it. Man, that is, that’s pretty impressive.
Judy: I guess because I’d always taken care of myself and it wasn’t that expensive. And so I, I started coming in, uh, not 1990. Whatever. I don’t know exactly.
Dorothy: It was back then it was $75 bucks or something like that.
Judy: Yeah, I mean it would have been silly not to, in my mind, and thank the Lord I did.
Dorothy: Yeah, sure enough. Wow. I know that, uh, that was right before we started patient navigation, or [00:04:00] right at the time.
Judy: I think it was right at the time, because y’all just, took me through everything.
Dorothy: Well, then you were one of the first.
Judy: Yeah.
Dorothy: I mean, you have, that’s a definite history here. We’re going to have to use you as, here’s where it started. Here’s living proof. Ha ha ha. Well, what was now, besides you being unsure, I don’t mean that That would be my number one worry. But what else was difficult about your diagnosis, your treatment?
Judy: Just coming to terms with what could happen, what might happen. Trying to keep a positive outlook on trying to keep the family from worrying. Trying to keep on with a regular life. Um, it’s just a scary time in a woman’s life to be diagnosed with breast cancer.
Dorothy: How did you tell Joe that you had to go back?
Judy: Actually It was on our anniversary the day I found out.
Dorothy: Oh my gosh.
Judy: And I didn’t tell him. I thought, you know, we’re gonna have fun today. [00:05:00] And I told him, and it was just, we’ll do what we gotta do.
Dorothy: Yeah, that sounds like Jeff.
Judy: Yeah, I mean, it was just a matter of fact. We do what we gotta do. Get it taken care of.
Dorothy: And the rest of your family, Jennifer?
Judy: Oh yeah, everybody was so supportive. So very supportive. It’s amazing looking back. And it’s amazing looking back how much impact my breast cancer had on other people.
Dorothy: Oh yes.
Judy: Uh, I think one you’ll be talking to later on, that she had put off a mammogram and heard my story and decided to have her mammogram and sure enough, was diagnosed.
Dorothy: You have to remember back in 2000, it was still kind of novel. You know, you just, mammograms were just beginning to really become a standard of care, you know, so women weren’t quite sure you should go do it, you know, so, yes, [00:06:00] having someone who was willing to talk about it, that’s the other thing, and you did a lot of public service announcements for us and, and went on to, you know, television, radio, to tell your story.
Back then, women still were not talking about it a lot. So that, that was different.
Judy: Well, and also, being in the position we were in, I reached a lot of women.
Dorothy: Oh, yes.
Judy: A whole lot of women, and especially in the Pasadena area.
Dorothy: Mm hmm.
Judy: Because that’s where our business was, and everybody’s interested. They, they want to know, are you okay, what, how, how’s it going? And you just have that positive attitude because you got so many people behind you loving you and wishing for your good luck.
Dorothy: Right. So 24 years?
Judy: Yep. 24 years.
Dorothy: Wow, that is, congratulations.
Judy: Thank you.
Dorothy: I mean, really.
Judy: Thank you.
Dorothy: That’s awesome.
Judy: I celebrate every year.
Dorothy: I, I know you do. Now, what put it in [00:07:00] your head to raise money for The Rose?
Judy: Y’all had a program that you had started, and I think it was called Mind, Body, and Spirit.
Dorothy: Yes, yes, you were one of the participants, yes.
Judy: And I got to be participating in that. And it just kind of gave you courage, or the want to, to do something else. I’m, look at all this, golly, they’re helping everybody else, we need to help them. And just. Giving back, as y’all say.
Dorothy: And it started with Jammin With A Cure?
Judy: Jamming for the cure.
Dorothy: For the cure.
Judy: And then, I got on the committee, couldn’t even tell you the exact year, I think probably 2002, 2003. Just sat back, didn’t didn’t participate, just listen. But y’all needed people on the committee because I think then it was mostly your employees that was doing all the work.
Dorothy: Yes.
Judy: And the, the couple that had been cooking [00:08:00] for some reason had to bow out.
Dorothy: Right.
Judy: And silly me, I said, Hey, I got a guy I can cook. And that’s where little Mark came in.
Dorothy: I always wondered how you convinced him to, to become our cook.
Judy: Hey Mark, we just need you. Joe asked him, you think you could cook about 500 pounds of shrimp? Well, yeah.
Dorothy: And he brought the other cookers.
Judy: He, well, and a lot of the other cookie cookers were our customers also. It was just a community thing with us and our immediate, of course, it’s grown so much. He’s brought in a lot of people.
Dorothy: Oh, yeah.
Judy: And.
Dorothy: Yeah, that cooking team is impressive.
Judy: Very impressive.
Dorothy: They are like, they are like clockwork here. They set this up at, you know, at whatever time it is, he knows what’s coming out of that.
Judy: Oh, absolutely. And they’ve, they’ve replenished the equipment we started with.
Dorothy: It was a good [00:09:00] thing.
Judy: It was a real good thing.
Dorothy: I’m sure about that.
Judy: Yeah, so it was um, It just kind of happened. It just kind of fell into place.
Dorothy: But it fell into place because people like you kept coming back every year and being on that committee. Now, this—
Judy: Well, then it, yeah, it became a challenge. How, can we do better this year? Can we do better next year?
Dorothy: And last year we, we topped 200,000. Which was a record. And, oh my gosh, that, that just, Raise that bar, Judy. We gotta do a whole bunch this year.
Judy: Well, we’ll do it. We’re going back to the 80s, so.
Dorothy: Oh, I know. I, I’m not sure how that got going, but our theme is back to the 80s, and what are you gonna wear?
Judy: I don’t know, but I bet there’ll be a lot of Hawaiian shirts there anyway.
Dorothy: I do too, yeah. Somehow or another, the Shrimp Boil became Hawaiian time, and then I, I remember, and you may have been on the committee when I tried to get everyone to change and let’s have, let’s cook something else, you know, let’s have a [00:10:00] barbecue or something and boy was I voted down. It was no way we’re going to do shrimp.
Judy: It’s now the Shrimp Boil. That is for sure.
Dorothy: That is it. The um, tell us, you describe the Shrimp Boil for our listeners. What happens?
Judy: Well, you, if you’re on the committee, you get there a little early and it’s this huge well decorated room with not that much activity going on other than things being set up, last minute details. And then slowly but surely the people start coming in and you say, Hey, how are you doing? Hadn’t seen you in a while. And it just, the excitement I think just builds with With the people coming in and seeing each other and always have some good music going in the background and people talking and all the Different things there are to do you got your cake sales. [00:11:00] They got your bar. We all like to go to. You got your raffles. Auctions, I mean, it’s just something for everybody.
Dorothy: What is the the Alcohol toss, where you have that ring toss for, yeah, you know, it’s starting to sound like this is too much of a party.
Judy: But no, it’s not that way at all.
Dorothy: No, people just come to have fun. And you’re right, I see people there every year that I haven’t seen for a whole year, and here they are back again. Just, just to help us, help us serve, and that means so much. Shrimp Boil is, is like our, you can see our whole community of supporters, of people we’ve helped, of patients. They’re all there. It’s, it’s such a fun event.
Judy: It, it is a fun event. It, it, I, I, I would recommend anybody to come out and have fun with us. It’s good.
Dorothy: And we try to [00:12:00] recognize the survivors. I think sometimes people are a little shy to come up front, but it’s what we do. I mean, you know, that’s when you can really, really see the mission.
Judy: Every year, y’all bring us up front and give us a beautiful pink lei.
Dorothy: Yes.
Judy: And it is. Yes, I’ve been there many times when I know somebody’s there has either fought or is fighting breast cancer. And I’ll go, no, come on. No, no, no. I don’t deserve to be up there. What do you mean? You don’t deserve to be up there. We’re honoring you. Come on, let’s go. And it’s very emotional standing up there, getting your picture taken because you know, all these strong women have gone through what you’ve gone through. And some of them are just starting on that journey and it’s scary.
Dorothy: Yeah, it’s very scary.
Judy: And I think Something like the Shrimp Boil gives you a good outlook and you walk away and you’re feeling good and think I can do this. I can do this.
Dorothy: And you know, you hear the [00:13:00] stories from people like you who have made it 20 years, 25 years and you’re going, Oh my, there is, there is lots of hope here.
Judy: I think when your first diagnosis, you always, have that thought. Am I going to be a statistic?
Dorothy: Right.
Judy: And it’s so good to be around people that have made it.
Dorothy: Right.
Judy: Five years, I think, was the first time I really breathed, uh, that seemed to be a good starting point. Ooh, I made it five years. I can do this. And it’s just a scary time for women. And I think the Shrimp Boil is a good opportunity to bring people, be happy.
Dorothy: Every day is a gift.
Judy: Every day.
Dorothy: You were pretty young when you were diagnosed.
Judy: I was 56.
Dorothy: That’s pretty young.
Judy: Yeah, well.
Dorothy: I mean, looking back now, we’re both people that’s pretty young. Tell me about Ella.
Judy: Oh my goodness. My sister in law. I had two [00:14:00] sister in laws and both of them are great. Both of them are talented. But Ella could quilt, and just when we first got involved with the Shrimp Boil, I would ask friends and neighbors, whoever, to donate something. It was mainly silent auctioning.
Dorothy: It was mainly silent, yes.
Judy: And she started making quilts. Well, she did. What I didn’t realize at the time, Ella designed all her own quilts. She didn’t use patterns from other people. So anybody that bought a shrimp, uh, a quilt from the Shrimp Boil, it’s a Ella original. And you’re not going to find that any place else.
Dorothy: You know, I should have realized that. Because they all had that unique theme. To them, she, she always picked something different.
Judy: She wrote the, the title. She always titled her quilts. And it’s always on the back.
Dorothy: Yeah. And [00:15:00] she must have done that for, I guess you brought her in probably 2003 or when she started doing those quilts for us.
Judy: Yes.
Dorothy: Yeah.
Judy: Yeah. Yeah. She, at the time she was still working, so it was not the extravagant quilts like, like she donated later on. And not only did she do all the work, she bought her own, all her own material. She spent a lot of money making those quilts. But was so happy. Oh, it made her so proud.
Dorothy: Oh, yeah.
Judy: And I’ll go back to the Waltz Across Texas. This is something I don’t think Jennifer even knew, when she was back there bidding for her best friend, I was sitting at the table with my best friend that was bidding against her.
Dorothy: Oh.
Judy: And once it got to $10,000, my friend, the Buxton’s, they thought they had won it, and they quit bidding. But, [00:16:00] as it turned out, that wasn’t the case because she didn’t go to the 10, 000. She went to the 9, 500. Anyway, it was exciting for all of us that it was, the quilt was donated, or dedicated to Joe and I, Wallace Across Texas, because we loved our dancing, our country music, and she just, everything on the Walz Across Texas relates to Texas.
Dorothy: Oh, yes.
Judy: It’s all musicians from Texas. It’s a beautiful quilt.
Dorothy: It really is. We have so many pictures of that, of her showing us the different things on that. And I know this, our listeners won’t appreciate this, but somehow or another you got her to do a mini podcast with Freddie. And oh, was she mad.
Judy: She was so mad, I really didn’t think, y’all had told me you wanted to get a little broadcast with her. I didn’t really think she would be mad about it, and I just didn’t say, I tricked her into going in there, and she kept [00:17:00] giving me this look, and I thought, you know what, she really isn’t mad. And afterwards, yes, I heard a few choice words. But I’m so thankful we got that. As you know, she passed.
Dorothy: Right.
Judy: Just passed, well, last year now. And it’s such a sad time.
Dorothy: Oh, yeah.
Judy: But we’ve, we’ve got her voice forever now.
Dorothy: Forever, that’s true.
Judy: And she will be well remembered by many, many people. And I’m proud that she was my sister in law.
Dorothy: Oh, yes. Should be. But you know, those are the kind of stories that have made The Shrimp Boil last for 35 years. The people who, of their own heart, their own generosity, just came to support. And think of all the uninsured women you’ve helped.
Judy: Oh my goodness.
Dorothy: Oh my gosh. If I went back and looked at the increase in uninsured we’ve had every year. I mean, it’s [00:18:00] phenomenal how many people still need help.
It hasn’t gone down.
Judy: No.
Dorothy: No, and it just seems like, just like you, it always happens at one of those in between times. You know, lost insurance. Some of our ladies have had a divorce. Some of our ladies, you know, it’s, it’s, they’ve lost their job and they just don’t have the insurance. It’s not like they’ve always been without. So, it’s really hard to ask for help.
Judy: That’s exactly right. It is hard to ask for help. And had The Rose not just took me by the hand and did it for me, I, I, I really don’t know what I would have done. I, I truly don’t know what I would have done. So, ever thankful.
Dorothy: You know, I, I, I really hadn’t thought of that, but you wouldn’t know. I mean, even, even when you have insurance, you don’t know what’s the next thing, what’s the next thing. I’ve, I’ve always said everybody. [00:19:00] No matter what disease, no matter insured, uninsured, we all need a navigator, we all need someone to say, here’s your next step, and here’s why it’s important, and you know, we need to get you on in. Because my gosh, that can be a very paralyzing time with fear. I mean, it, it is. It just can be.
Judy: And I think the Shrimp Boil is the perfect example to let people know that The Rose is there to help. That’s it. That’s, that’s what y’all do. That’s your job.
Dorothy: Right, that’s our job. But, and, and the only I say this all the time, the only reason we can do it is because of community. It has been this community that supported us for so long.
Judy: Oh, it has been great.
Dorothy: And kept us going. And of course, I think you as a committee member knows this, but the Shrimp Boil happens on the last month of our fiscal year. So we always count on it to get us through that year. We say our mission hadn’t changed in, in these 38 years, but a lot [00:20:00] of things haven’t changed. We still wait on the Shrimp Boil. And it is such an important event to us. Thank you for being on the committee for all these years. Thank you for bringing your entire family. I mean, you know, it’s just like, well, that’s a, that’s a Judy table. That’s a Judy table. That’s another Judy table. We just go through the list and go, oh, yeah, well, they’re all here.
Judy: I’ve already sent out my little text this year for tables to be bought.
Dorothy: Yes. And I think the idea of buying the table is such a good idea because we have had a crowd that we had to find tables for, find seats for. You know, it’s just, bring your family, bring your friends, enjoy the afternoon.
Judy: Tables are fun. You do. You have your own group there, but you have the table next door to you that you probably know some of them over there, and it’s just a fun time. I say everybody come out.
Dorothy: Oh, yes. Yes. And we’re [00:21:00] doing this because?
Judy: We’re raising money to help the ladies that can’t help their self.
Dorothy: And that is— you’re a living example.
Judy: I am a living example.
Dorothy: One of our guests.
Judy: And hope to live a few more.
Dorothy: Oh, I know you will. You better. We can’t do the Shrimp Boil without you. Thank you, Judy, for being with us today.
Judy: Thank you for inviting me.
Dorothy: We appreciate you so very much.
Post-Credits: Thank you for joining us today on Let’s Talk About Your Breasts. This podcast is produced by Speke Podcasting and brought to you by The Rose. Visit therose.org to learn more about our organization. Subscribe to our podcast, share episodes with friends and join the conversation on social media using #LetsTalkAboutYourBreasts. We welcome your feedback and suggestions. Consider supporting The Rose. Your gift can make the difference to a person in need. And remember self care is not selfish. It’s essential.
