Dorothy: [00:00:00] When Mike Hazelrigs did his podcast episode about participating in the 10,000 mile The Hoka Hey Motorcycle Challenge, he brought Kathy Stevens with him, his fiancée, a woman who had thought breast cancer was behind her, and is now facing metastatic disease. He didn’t think Kathy was going to talk, but boy, talk she did, and she not only shared her experience with what it means to think you’ve got cancer beat and then find out you’re going to have to fight it again, but also her battle with the insurance companies and how she made sure that they paid the bills that they should have.
She has great advice for anyone who’s battling breast cancer battling any kind of disease and having to fight insurance companies. When you subscribe to our show, you help us grow. Someone you know may need to hear this story. So please, [00:01:00] share with your family and friends. And consider supporting our mission. Your donation can help save the life of an uninsured woman.
Let’s Talk About Your Breast, a different kind of podcast presented to you by The Rose, Breast Center of Excellence and a Texas treasurer. You’re going to hear frank discussions about tough topics, and you’re going to learn why knowing about your breast could save your life.
Thank you so much, Kathy, for being with us here today. And I am very, very interested in hearing your story. and all about your diagnosis and your breast cancer experience and the things that you’ve learned along the way. So, how old were you when you were diagnosed?
Kathy: I was 46.
Dorothy: How’d you find it?
Kathy: Actually, I had, um, a deformity with my nipple area and [00:02:00] my doctor said that we should wait a year and see if anything changed and By the time I went back a year later, it was had already grown to 10 centimeters. So it was it was shocking.
Dorothy: Oh, yeah.
Kathy: We shouldn’t have waited, but it everything happens for a reason, so.
Dorothy: And so with with that size— And, and where it was, you, you had surgery, mastectomy?
Kathy: I had a double mastectomy. I chose to have a double mastectomy.
Dorothy: Good choice.
Kathy: And, I had radiation and chemotherapy.
Dorothy: Which of those was the hardest?
Kathy: I think, It was the radiation because, um, I have a lot of redheads in my family and I started burning on the first, uh, treatment and [00:03:00] then we found a cream that helped immensely and, um. They said, well, you shouldn’t be burning yet. And, but I was so.
Dorothy: Your fair skin. And yes, describe it for some of our listeners who may not even realize that radiation has that effect on some people.
Kathy: Well, I think that no matter what, they should automatically purchase a, uh, a cream and I used Miaderm. I’m not paid by them or anything to say that name, but it worked, uh, greatly for me. It took the, uh, burn away and by the time I had all of my treatments, I, I was physically burnt from my neck down, but, um, it, it went away after a short period of time.
Dorothy: It’s like a really bad sunburn.
Kathy: It is like a very bad sunburn.
Dorothy: Yeah. And so how long were you in treatment?
Kathy: I was, um, I started treatment in 2011, and by the time I had my reconstructive surgery, that was in [00:04:00] 2012.
So, um, it was, you know, a two year process to, from beginning to end.
Dorothy: So, was that when you met Mike, or was it later on?
Kathy: I met Mike at the very beginning of this journey.
Dorothy: Okay, okay.
Kathy: We, uh, went out for the first time in March of 20, uh, 2011. And, uh, and we’ve been together ever since. So I was very lucky.
Dorothy: Did you feel the same way as he did? I mean, did you fall in love with him immediately? Or?
Kathy: The funniest thing. He, on our first date, uh, we were going to go to dinner and to a movie. We were And he came to my door with a dozen roses and a 40 pound dog, uh, bag of dog food for my bulldog.
Dorothy: Oh, my goodness. Now that would get to any woman’s heart.
Kathy: It did. Yes, it did. And, um, it’s funny because he was a motorcycle rider. [00:05:00] And I wasn’t super well versed with the motorcycle community. And a lot of times they would wear a head covering, and you would think that they had hair, but they didn’t once they took their head covering off. So, I was so thrilled that he had the most gorgeous hair, and, um, I, I was very lucky.
Dorothy: So, you’re already in chemo, before you know it. Losing hair. And were you uncomfortable with him during that time?
Kathy: I was. I used to think that losing my hair was going to be the worst thing that was going to happen to me. Um, it was very difficult, you know, as a woman. Um, To have to go through that. But that was nothing. Now, I realized that was nothing. So.
Dorothy: And that’s a good message for women to hear because it is very very traumatic.
Kathy: It is but I had you know, many different wigs and head coverings and— And it really didn’t matter in the end and and this is two years of [00:06:00] growth right now, so um— This is not what my hair used to look like.
Dorothy: I think we’re I think we’re going to have some pictures of you hopefully with your with your other with your hair before, but as you said, there’s, there’s lots of things that could be worse.
Kathy: Right. Absolutely.
Dorothy: So did you start riding bikes then?
Kathy: Um, I had a girlfriend that I worked with and she— her husband rides and, and she rides and she said, why don’t you come out with us sometime?
And I would ride on the back of her husband’s motorcycle and we just had a great time. I could let all of my tension go when we were on the motorcycles and it’s just very freeing and I needed that. I had, uh, children, uh, two boys that were 10 and 12 and each had their own special set of circumstances. So I needed an escape.
Dorothy: Did you ever ride [00:07:00] alone? I mean, did you ever master—?
Kathy: I, I did purchase a motorcycle and, um. Mike taught me how to ride it, and so now, yes, I can get out there. Um, unfortunately, it’s a three wheeler, but I’m out there.
Dorothy: You wouldn’t find me on a three wheeler or any of that, my gosh. And have you taken any long trips with it?
Kathy: We, uh, I went on a trip, the three sisters, or the Twisted Sisters, in Leakey, Texas, and, um, that was a, that was a good time for me. And then I have, uh, driven my motorcycle at Sturgis, so.
Dorothy: Ah.
Kathy: I didn’t ride up there. That’s too far. But, um, we did have the bike sent up and, and it was a wonderful time, so beautiful up there.
Dorothy: So I’m trying to put the dates together. So how many years did you have— a time where you were cancer free? I had 10 years. And you weren’t worried about it during that time?
Kathy: No. I, I [00:08:00] was, you know, feeling well and we were staying busy and doing, you know, fun things and, um, everything was going along great.
Dorothy: And then when did you find out about the recurrence?
Kathy: I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer, stage four in September of 2021.
Dorothy: Mm-Hmm. And what, at that time, were we still In those restricted times of COVID or—
Kathy: No, I mean, it was, it was, um, lessening. It wasn’t as severe, but I mean, it was still existed. I just had to be careful.
Dorothy: So did Mike go with you on most of your appointments?
Kathy: He used to, um, I’ve tried to give him a little bit more freedom and not have to be there with me all the time. I, he takes me to all of my, um, surgeries and, um, you know, if there’s a big test or, you know, possible, um, bad outcome, he, he will go with me.
Dorothy: Yeah. So you had to have the [00:09:00] same amount of treatment or what happened after you found out?
Kathy: Um, they couldn’t figure out why my cancer numbers were climbing, um, because It wasn’t anything typical. So, um, my oncologist—
Dorothy: You didn’t find something else?
Kathy: No.
Dorothy: You were back at a regular checkup?
Kathy: I was just at my regular oncology visit, you know, every six months. And, um, she was concerned because my numbers weren’t looking that great. So she said that my gallbladder was, um, not functioning and that it was dying. And so she said let’s get that out and see what happens next. But then when they were inside removing the gallbladder they saw that the cancer was on top of my organs in my peritoneal cavity. And she yelled at me when I went back to see her, she goes, can’t you have anything normal?
Dorothy: Well obviously not.
Kathy: No, no. No. Um, so that’s how we found out.
Dorothy: How did you deal with that? [00:10:00]
Kathy: This time has been much more difficult. Um, of course, because if anyone— I mean— we’re all living on borrowed time, and everyone passes away at some point. But when you’re told that it’s not curable, um, that we’re just going to try to do the best we can to make you comfortable toward the end, um, it really hits you differently than the first diagnosis.
Dorothy: Of course.
Kathy: And then instead of, um, thinking of fun activities and you know, uh, your bucket list, you have to start thinking about, I need to write down all of the bank account numbers and all of the, um, passwords and they need to have these documents available. And so that your planning becomes a laser focused on another Avenue.
Dorothy: Did you find yourself writing to your sons or your children?
Kathy: Um, yes. I and I try to, [00:11:00] you know, spend as much time with them as I can. One lives out of town. Um, so I, my, um, my fatigue is extreme right now. And, um, I used to be a real go getter. And, um, But my energy level is is compromised.
Dorothy: That’s one of the other hardest things to deal with because you want to do things.
Kathy: Right. Right.
Dorothy: And the body just isn’t cooperating.
Kathy: And you know all the doctor appointments. I was having you know up to four doctor appointments a week um for all the different things related to this diagnosis, so um, i’m busier right now with— with this schedule. Mm hmm.
Dorothy: So, how much do you depend on Mike now?
Kathy: A lot.
Dorothy: And describe how that is, I mean, is it, uh, just having him come in, is it the things he says to you, is it?
Kathy: It’s a combination. It’s just, [00:12:00] I just need to know that he’s there. If I need him, I don’t want to overwhelm him because it’s, it’s, it’s difficult for your caregivers.
Dorothy: Oh yeah.
Kathy: My family had a hard time accepting it in the beginning. They didn’t understand that what the process is for this stage. And um, he’s been, he’s been my rock.
Dorothy: That would be so hard to tell your family.
Kathy: It was.
Dorothy: I mean that, that’s just not something anyone is ready for.
Kathy: It’s, it was, I dreaded telling my children. So.
Dorothy: And they, you had to tell them together, one at a time?
Kathy: We told them together. We told them together. And um, they’ve taken it well. So.
Dorothy: Well, as well as they could and probably in front of you. Yeah, I think, I think that’s something none of us know how to handle. Uh, and we never know what to say. We don’t know how to be supportive with others at that time, especially such a [00:13:00] vulnerable time for you.
Kathy: I think, um, talking about supportive, I think that everyone, um, that does not have cancer needs to know, please say something to the people with cancer. A lot of times they’ll say, well, I didn’t know what to say, and it was awkward, and it was, you know, difficult. But we want to feel included in things. And a lot of times we’re excluded because, well, I didn’t know if you were feeling well enough or—
Dorothy: That’s a really important point. I’ve heard that so many times.
Kathy: Yes. It’s, it’s very important. And they said, well, I didn’t want to bother you. Please bother us.
Dorothy: Yes.
Kathy: Because it helps us mentally, you know, fight like a girl.
Dorothy: Oh, absolutely. Well, no one likes to be excluded for anything.
Kathy: Right. Right.
Dorothy: But when you’re dealing with that on top of feeling like you’re being left out.
Kathy: Right. Well, our lives stop and they change direction. And [00:14:00] everyone else, I, I recall going to lunch with a group of friends and they were talking about going to Christmas parties and what they were doing for the weekend and, you know, all these fun activities. And I was angry because my life had stalled.
And they were still moving forward. And that’s another thing that’s difficult for cancer, uh, patients. You have a new sense of what your reality is. And sometimes it’s difficult to swallow. But, um, you just have to keep pushing forward.
Dorothy: And did you have any therapy help at that time?
Kathy: I did not.
Dorothy: Okay.
Kathy: I did not. My therapy was the motorcycle.
Dorothy: Oh, well that’s good to know. That’s good to know. Uh, so, How did you feel when he, he started talking about this ride that he’s about to do?
Kathy: I was concerned. Um, 10,000 miles is a very long process. [00:15:00] And, but I know he’s a skilled rider and I trust him. Plus his very best friend is going with him. Um, he was also at, you know, approved to, to participate. But I just want— I’m hoping that I can get to Alaska when he crosses the finish line.
Dorothy: Oh, that would be great.
Kathy: Yes.
Dorothy: That would be really great.
Kathy: Yes.
Dorothy: And he’s, you know, believe me, at The Rose, we are so, so grateful that he’s doing this and, and, you know, has named The Rose as his, his Charity of choice. That means so much.
Kathy: Yes, ma’am.
Dorothy: So Kathy, when we’re talking about this ride that Mike is making, tell us, tell us what it’s all about.
Kathy: He will be participating in the Hoka Hey Challenge for 2024.
Dorothy: And this is a challenge that is only available to very experienced riders, or?
Kathy: Well, they, they prefer that it be experienced riders. And you choose a charity, and Mike [00:16:00] has chosen The Rose to be the beneficiary of donations for this challenge. He should, uh, hope to complete the challenge within two weeks. It’ll start in Florida and end in Alaska. And it’s going to be grueling, but it’s doable. And, um, he will be participating with his best friend. And we, he has already met his goal, uh, for donations. But we want to get as many more, um, as possible for the
Dorothy: road. So he still has 10,000 miles to go, right?
Kathy: Yes.
Dorothy: I mean, he still has that much.
Kathy: Yes. So, and, um, he’s very excited about participating.
Dorothy: Oh, we’re delighted that he’s doing this. I mean, I know it’s going to be grueling, but oh my gosh. The impact that those funds are going to have on the women we serve. We really appreciate both of you, both of you for considering The Rose.
Kathy: Yes, ma’am.
Dorothy: I’ve heard you say things like it’s okay to [00:17:00] be upset. We need to have support. Don’t leave us out. Um, the times you were angry, the times you were, you know, that you just didn’t know, and you’ve said so many things. What other message would you want to share with a caregiver or a woman who’s facing metastatic breast cancer?
Kathy: I would say, um, don’t rush to pay invoices that you receive for your care because sometimes they have not been approved by your insurance agent’s— insurance company as yet and have to be researched. So just because you receive a bill for $300 balance due does not mean that you owe that amount. You know, make certain that someone else is helping you look at the bills and, you know, compare your E.O.B.S. Because getting your money back if you make an overpayment is sometimes difficult.
Dorothy: Absolutely. And EOB is [00:18:00] an explanation of benefits.
Kathy: Correct.
Dorothy: And Kathy, you’re the very first one I’ve ever heard say, this is one of the things you need to be aware of.
Kathy: Yes.
Dorothy: It is so true.
Kathy: Yes.
Dorothy: Because there’s so many times when— You can appeal, or your doctor can say no, this was absolutely needed. And that whole And miscodings.
Kathy: Miscodings.
Dorothy: Oh my gosh, what great, great advice. It’s kind of hard to do when you’re dealing with so much else.
Kathy: Right.
Dorothy: But, like you said, have someone help you and go through it.
Kathy: I would say keep your core group close. The people that helped me the most during my first journey, um, were not the people that I expected. to help. Um, it actually wasn’t even family, but that was for my father was very ill. My mother had open heart surgery. My sister was taking care of a 12 year old and a 15 year old and my parents. So it wasn’t possible for them. And I am so thankful that I had Mike and my other Uh, friends [00:19:00] that, you know, I had a girlfriend that took me to every chemo session and who does that?
Dorothy: Right.
Kathy: You know, and, and, um, Mike came into my life and said, I can do this as a caregiver or as a boyfriend or, and, um, I chose B) boyfriend and, um, he has—
Dorothy: A good choice.
Kathy: Definitely—
Dorothy: You have not regretted, right?
Kathy: I have not regretted it. I have not, so.
Dorothy: Well, we are so delighted to have you here today.
Kathy: Thank you for having me.
Dorothy: Absolutely. And wish you all the luck and you know, we’ve had a lot of women that outdo all the odds.
Kathy: Right.
Dorothy: And I can tell you’re going to be one of those because you’ve got so much else to do.
Kathy: I hope so. I do.
Dorothy: Yes, you do. Thank you again for being with us.
Kathy: Thank you.
Post-Credits: Thank you for joining us today on Let’s Talk About Your Breasts. This podcast is produced by Speke [00:20:00] Podcasting and brought to you by The Rose. Visit therose.org to learn more about our organization. Subscribe to our podcast. Share episodes with friends and join the conversation on social media using #Let’sTalkAboutYourBreasts. We welcome your feedback and suggestions consider supporting The Rose. Your gift can make the difference to a person in need. Remember self care is not selfish. It’s essential.
