Surviving Breast Cancer While Pregnant

Dorothy: [00:00:00] All throughout the month of December, we’re spotlighting women who are the epitome of the mission of The Rose. During this episode you’re gonna hear from Courtney Clark, and how she was diagnosed during her pregnancy. Your contribution can help us continue to bring hope, support, and resources those in need; to women just like Courtney. Let’s Talk About Your Breasts. A different kind of podcast presented to you by The Rose. The Breast Center of Excellence and a Texas treasure. You’re going to hear frank discussions about tough topics. And you’re going to learn why knowing about your breast could save your life. Join us as we hear another story and we answer those tough questions that you may have.

Courtney: My name is Courtney Jeanette Clark. I am a patient at the Rose, but besides that I’m a mother, um, I’m a wife, I’m a daughter. I’m a [00:01:00] friend. I’m a woman who loves God first, family second. And my dad always taught us, God, family, work. And that’s just who I am. That’s who I am to my core.

Dorothy: And you’re also a breast cancer survivor.

Courtney: I am. Yes, ma’am.

Dorothy: Your, your breast cancer experience was very different than what most women have. So I’m just going to invite you to go ahead and share with us how you found what you had going on and what was going on in your life at the time.

Courtney: So back in 2021, I was getting ready to go to a party with one of my friends, like a day party.

And as I was getting dressed, I felt a lump in my breast. And I was like, That’s a lump. I’m going to the, like, the hospital. And so I ran to, like, the hospital that wasn’t far from my house. And I, um, I actually had just had a baby at the beginning of the year. And I was still in touch with the midwives who took care of me.

They didn’t have any appointments, so they sent me down [00:02:00] to the women’s clinic. And I spoke with the doctor there. She examined me. And, um, actually, this part of my story is kind of, like, heartbreaking for me to even say and talk about, but… When she examined me, she actually like laughed and asked me, why did I think it was a lump in my breast?

And I was like, because I feel a lump. And she said it was a clogged milk duct. Because at the time I was still breastfeeding my daughter. And I’ve had clogged milk ducts before. And I was like, this doesn’t feel like that. I tried to work it out the way you’re supposed to work out milk ducts before I, you know, even went to her.

And she said, Is anyone in your family, does anyone in your family have breast cancer? And I was like, no. And she asked me, again, very condescending, why would you think that this is a lump? And again, I explained to her why. So, she told me it was a clogged milk duck. And, uh, I felt kind of silly leaving, because I was like, oh, I was overreacting.

And then we skipped to five months later. Um, we, my husband and I, we moved to [00:03:00] Houston. And, um, I found out I was pregnant. And, while I was taking a shower, I felt the same lump. And I was like, this is not right. Like, it’s the same breast. the same area. So I called my midwife and my midwife here in Houston was an African American woman and I explained to her what was going on and she told me, let’s go to the Rose.

I had no idea what the Rose was. I was like, all right, let’s go to the Rose. What’s the Rose? Um, and she called, um, sent over a referral to give me an appointment. But as she was sending over the referral, you guys were like really, really booked. And. The next appointment wasn’t for like two months out and I was like, I’m pregnant at the time.

I was 23 weeks pregnant and I was like, this does not feel right. And this is not the first time I felt this. I spoke with Miss Sally Reyes. She was so amazing. She got me an appointment. On the phone. She stayed on the phone. Meanwhile, I got my mid wife to send over a referral, which was also chaotic [00:04:00] because she was in the middle of a birth.

So I was calling her. She was at a birth and then I had to call the office where her sister was. I was like, please, can you just get it over? They ended up getting a referral over and I actually got in. I think it was like two days later. Um, so I came to the Rose. My mom came with me and I saw uh, The, um, I can’t remember his name, the radiologist, yes, and he was very nice.

The nurses, everyone here was amazing to me. Um, so I saw the radiologist, he did the biopsy and the thing that I love about the Rose that I did not know until I was here is that you get results right away. I had no idea that was going to happen and he came in and he told me that it was a tumor and that I would need to come back to have a biopsy.

The moment I heard the word tumor. I got very emotional because, um, in 2018, I lost my father to brain cancer and cancer, just hearing the word [00:05:00] to me, it, it automatically meant death because I lost my grandfather to prostate cancer. So when I heard the word cancer, I was like, I’m pregnant, I have a one and a half year old.

I have a husband. Oh my God, I’m going to die. My baby’s not going to make it and my daughter’s not going to know her mom. Um, so it took me a minute to gather myself and I called my husband who was away working. He was in Colorado at the time. And I told him what was going on and he immediately came home.

His job hadn’t even ended yet, but he came home and we hit the ground running. So, I think it was like two weeks later I came back for the biopsy. They biopsied it and it ended up being a cancerous tumor. Um, from there, again, Miss Sally came in and she helped me find, um, an oncologist at Texas Oncology.

And once I got there, we started a treatment plan, we came up with a plan. The thing about my [00:06:00] cancer though, like I said, is I was 23 weeks pregnant when I found out that I had breast cancer. So, my midwife that I was seeing had to refer me to a specialist because She had dealt with a pregnant woman with cancer, and my pregnancy became high risk.

Um, I had to go every week to see a maternal fetal medicine doctor. And the maternal fetal medicine doctor, along with the oncologist, along with the breast surgeon, And along with my, um, midwife, because she still stayed on, but just as like more of a support system. Um, they all had to come together and think of a treatment plan.

And the plan was, like when I first found out, I was like, take them off, just give me a double mastectomy. And the breast surgeon was like, Ms. Clark, you’re pregnant and we can’t put you under that type of anesthesia and surgery at the time. So, what we did, we came up with a plan and I had to do 16 rounds of chemo.

Four of those 16 rounds while pregnant. I am very grateful to God. I’m going to say that a lot here. [00:07:00] God is my source. I’m very grateful because I’ve met a lot of women during this process who’s had to have the same type of chemo that I had. Um, they call it AC, but they all call it the red devil. And they all had so many bad symptoms and so many bad things happened to them.

And I had all four of these while I was pregnant. And the worst thing that happened to me is I lost my hair. I didn’t get sick. I didn’t get weak. My baby was fine. At the beginning, they were thinking that we would have to Have him come out at like 30 weeks and then it was like 32 weeks and then I was scheduled to have him come out at 37 weeks, but he came out on his own at 36 weeks and he is a healthy baby boy.

He’s three months now. Once I had him, we took a break from chemo just for like a month just so I could spend time with my baby and see what was next. The next thing would either be breast surgery, which was going to be a mastectomy or a lumpectomy, or I would have to do [00:08:00] 12 more rounds of chemo. I was praying for the surgery because I just wanted it to be over, but ended up being that I had to do 12 more rounds.

So I’m actively right now still doing the chemo. Um, I’m actually on round five. I have five left. Starting Thursday will be four left. Um, and it’s been fine. Again, the only thing that’s really happened to me as far as symptoms is I lost my eyebrows and my eyelashes this time. Um, but this journey has been very difficult for me for a number of reasons.

Um, when I was diagnosed I had to stop working. My husband had to stop working. And I’ve never really been in a position where I had to like ask people for help or ask for money or, or, or ask for pity, you know. And my mom, she, when we found out that I was diagnosed, she came up with this website. It was, it’s kind of like a food train.[00:09:00]

It’s called Giving InKind, that’s what it’s called. And people could give financially. They could give food card, um, gift cards. food, bring meals, help with childcare. And my mom set that website up for me and she put it on her social media. And I was like, that’s enough. I’m not going to put it on mine because I didn’t want to ask.

I didn’t, I just felt I come from like a pretty good family. My dad took very good care of us. We never had to ask anybody for anything. So I didn’t want to ask. I was embarrassed, but I talked to my husband. I talked to my mom and I was like, I’m just going to put it there. And the amount of help that we got from people and the amount of people who care so much, it really overwhelmed me.

My husband always says how good of a person I am, but that’s my husband, right? My mom always says it, but that’s my mom. And I know that I’m a good person. I’m a good friend, but hearing it and seeing it and like getting your flowers while you’re here, it just really overtook me. [00:10:00] And so that was a hurdle I had to overcome, though, like asking for the help that I needed.

Dorothy: Oh, yeah, a lot. A lot of people have trouble with that, especially like you said, you’ve never had to do that before. He came from a fairly affluent family and the whole idea of charity is just not something that you had any experience with. You wouldn’t know how to do that. And there is that, uh, stigma. Oh, well, you know, why are you having to ask for help?

Yeah, all of those things.

Courtney: Yes.

Dorothy: Now, this is some pretty strong chemotherapy, though. Even though you, you were lucky in that you didn’t have as many symptoms, what went through your mind when you were having to take that while you were still pregnant?

Courtney: Having to go through chemotherapy while pregnant was the scariest thing.

Um, I was worried about my kid. I was worried about my son. I actually did go through a few, um, symptoms So, with my [00:11:00] son, who’s Antonio Jr., when I was pregnant with him, my, um, fluid levels had gotten really low at one point, and he thought that we were going to have to, like, do a C section and have him. And I was just like, God, please no.

Um. And just sitting there in the chair while, like, having my baby, I just kept thinking to myself, What is this? Because it’s poison, right? Like, it’s poison that’s helping you. But at the same time, what is this poison doing to my child? Like, am I doing the best thing for her? Should I have waited until after the pregnancy?

But I found out that if I would have waited, um, the type of cancer that I have, it’s, um, invasive ductal carcinoma. And it’s a hormonal cancer. So the hormones from the pregnancy. was growing the tumor. So as I was growing my baby, I was growing the tumor. It was just it was a lot to deal with. I was very emotional and just scared.

Really, really scared. Even getting the chemo. I wanted to, like, have another biopsy while I was pregnant. I was [00:12:00] like, Is it shrinking? What’s going on? Um, is it helping? Should I stop? Am I gonna live? Like, are we gonna make it through this? That was my biggest biggest thing every single time was, okay, it’s another day.

Am I going to live? Okay, it’s another treatment. Am I going to be okay? Am I going to get sick? Am I going to be able to walk back to the car? Am I going to make it up the stairs? Because we live on the third floor. So it’s already walking up the stairs while pregnant. And also after getting the chemotherapy that lasted for four hours, the red devil, when you sit to get it, it takes four hours.

Um, so it was, it was scary. That’s the the

Dorothy: Now, let’s go to you.

Courtney: Best word I have for it.

Dorothy: Right. Go to your, your situation. You, you stopped working.

Courtney: I did. Yeah.

Dorothy: Now, what happened with your insurance during that time?

Courtney: Okay, so I have Medicaid now. Um, when I was working, I didn’t have insurance for my job because it just wasn’t feasible.

It didn’t really make sense. Um, I [00:13:00] had Medicaid, I have Medicaid and it was pregnancy Medicaid. So it took care of. everything that I needed while pregnant. And then I tried to apply for, um, like mothers taking care of kids Medicaid because the pregnancy Medicaid ends in September. My treatment is going to last way past September.

I’m going to actually have to continue treatment. Um, even after surgery and everything, I have to do a pill for five years. insurance for at least the next five years. Um, so I talked to Miss Sally

Dorothy: and and Courtney’s talking about Sally Reyes, who is one of our patient navigators. And that was the first time I ever even heard your name was when she was telling me all about this wonderful patient who was pregnant and had so many different things that were hitting you and you still had a great personality or great Attitude toward it.

Yeah, you were just I’m gonna I’m gonna beat this. But then when I’m talking to you at other times, I’ve heard just how really hard it [00:14:00] was.

Courtney: It was.

Dorothy: Just to get through it.

Courtney: Yes. Um, so when I talked to Miss Sally, she told me about, um, there’s a, um, insurance for breast cancer patients, breast and cervical cancer.

So at the end of September, I’m going to get help from the Rose. So many of your people here are so great for me helping me and they’ll make sure that I have the insurance.

Dorothy: And this is through, yes, a state program that The Rose has been a contractor for for many, many years, and probably the only way that we’re able to help women who don’t have insurance get on into treatment.

Now, of course, this is not going to be, uh, like you said, this isn’t going to be a short term thing. You’re prepared for.

Courtney: I am prepared.

Dorothy: Quite a few, few more months at least.

Courtney: Yeah.

Dorothy: Dealing with this. What is the next day, a step?

Courtney: So that’s what I was going to say. So today, actually today, um, I saw a plastic surgeon and we’re preparing actually to do my lumpectomy.

And with the lumpectomy, I’ll have to have a reduction and a lift. The lumpectomy is going to [00:15:00] remove the tumor, which is great. Um, like I said, Thursday was supposed to be number five of my lumpectomy. Um, chemos, but it may be the last chemotherapy that I have to take for now, because today when I saw the plastic surgeon, he said that him and the breast surgeon and my oncologist have all been in contact with each other.

And I may be having the surgery before the end of September. So within the next three weeks, I’ll be having surgery, um, to remove the tumor that for me is exciting and scary. I’ll explain that because, as I said, we just moved here from New Orleans. My mom lives in Houston, but she’s in Dallas working right now, and I don’t have a lot of help here.

So having breast surgery means I’ll have to be sitting, not lifting anything more than 10 pounds. My two year old is 40 pounds, and she loves to be picked up. And I also have a newborn. I also have a husband who’s trying to [00:16:00] reestablish. income because we’ve been living off savings since February. So I need to have people helping me.

My grandmother right now is actually at my house helping, but my grandmother is 79 and ready to go home. She’ll be here though to help take care of the kids and everything, but it’s just gonna be a road ahead because I’ll have to have the breast surgery. the breast lift and then after that I’ll have to do radiation.

Radiation is going to last for two weeks every single day. So every day I’ll have to try to figure out what to do with my newborn and my toddler while I go to radiation. Also, I don’t know what’s going to happen with radiation. Am I going to get sick? Am I going to have the energy? I am a busy body by nature.

So having cancer quote unquote slow me down has been very hard for me. Because I just I’m, I’m the helper. I help people. It’s just in my nature. I’ve always been that way and so now I’m the one that needs the help and it’s hard to [00:17:00] receive the help. It’s hard to sit back and not do anything. It’s hard to sit back and let my husband take over with the kids.

Let my grandmother take over with the cooking. That’s hard for me, but I need to heal so that I can get better so that I can have that victory story and that miracle of being a breast cancer survivor. When you ask me who I was, and I said everything but breast cancer survivor, it’s because it’s still hard for me to even say that or even look at myself and know that, that I have breast cancer.

It seems unreal, honestly. Like, I look at myself and I’m like, I can’t believe this is happening to me without feeling, like, pity for myself, but at the same time it’s just It’s so strange that it happened to me, like, you don’t ever think that it’ll be you. You walk around and you see the stories, you hear the stories, and even, like, I would go to the, like, breast cancer walks and wear pink in October because it was cute.

But now, this year, it means something totally [00:18:00] different, like, it’s, I’m wearing pink in October and pink every day. And even today, I didn’t dress up, I put on my little, this is my chemo hair hat, and I put on my shirt about God. This is my life now and I realized that one of the other hurdles for me that I want to just talk about for a second that I never really talk about was the fact that I feel like, um, as a black woman, I didn’t get the treatment.

I feel like I should have got the first time I said something right. Um, when I first mentioned the lump, even if the doctor thought that it wasn’t. Just do the work. Let me get an MRI or a scan, some kind of scan just to appease me or make me feel better about what’s going on because I’m coming to you telling you that I have a lump in my breast and you laughed at me.

I normally don’t really see race and I know that that’s naive of me because of the way I grew up and how I grew up and the type of friends that I had. I really try not to see race, but in that [00:19:00] moment Now, like in the moment that I was diagnosed with breast cancer, the first thing I saw was race because I felt like if it was a young white woman that went in and said that, that wouldn’t have happened.

I feel like she would have gotten tests and more comfort than a laugh. And me as an African American woman, I got a laugh and I literally walked out. I’ll never forget. I walked out of there feeling silly about myself. So silly that I don’t even think I told my mom or anyone that I went. to the doctor for that reason.

I just, my husband knew it, my friend who I was on the phone with. I never told anyone else because it felt stupid. Like, I really felt stupid. I did not even feel that I felt stupid leaving there. Um, and I just think that I don’t know, you know, like if it could have changed anything, but I feel like maybe it could have changed something.

And maybe like if it would have changed, maybe I would have went through all the things that I needed to go through and I wouldn’t have my baby, you know? So I think about it’s a blessing in disguise, but also it’s, it’s a big inconvenience and it’s scary. [00:20:00]

Dorothy: And Courtney, I hate that that’s the experience you had.

And I can’t tell you how much, and I hate to go into research and statistics and that thing, but that is the number one thing we hear. from women of color. They didn’t listen to me. They blew me off. I didn’t feel like I was heard. I didn’t feel like I received the same care. I mean, this is a real thing.

This is not something you imagine. It’s a real thing. There is this bias that goes on. And I mean, I just really admire the way that you You didn’t immediately go to the, oh, well, this is all about race, and, you know, you didn’t, you had to really work through your own value systems with that. I did. But at the end of the day, it was.

At the end of the day, it was. It was, yeah. And that’s what’s so sad. That’s, that is not just sad, it is, uh, it’s just unacceptable.

Courtney: And it’s really scary when you start.

Dorothy: It is.

Courtney: It is. Yeah.

Dorothy: And it’s how, [00:21:00] You know, I’m just amazed at the fact that that wasn’t more aggressive. I mean, and you and I are talking very lay people stuff here because I’m a lay person.

But just from what I know, that could have been really a whole different story for you, especially becoming pregnant, especially with that hormone receptors going on. Uh, you know, you are a miracle walking. And I agree. This wasn’t due to our modern medicine.

Courtney: It was not.

Dorothy: No. No.

Courtney: I always tell people, like, that’s my thing lately.

It’s by the grace of God that I’m here. It really is. Um, another hurdle that I had to, like, get over that really broke my heart with this is that I breastfed my daughter, um, up until February of this year. Um, she turned two in April, and my goal was to keep going until she turned two. And the moment I found out that I had a lump in my breast and I had breast cancer, that was…[00:22:00]

stripped away from me immediately. And with my son now, uh, we’ve actually been through, we’re on formula number five because he can’t, he’s, he’s having stomach issues. And I struggle, I cry a lot about like not being able to breastfeed him. And I’m just like, if I would have known about this, if I could have, gotten help sooner.

You know, like maybe I could have been past the chemo part. Maybe I could have breastfed him. Maybe not, but maybe so, you know, and it’s just I feel like that was taken from me. It wasn’t a choice that I had. It was taken from me. It’s also taken from my daughter. We bonded in that my husband would be like, it’s time to stop.

And I’m like, I’m gonna stop when she turns two. We had gotten to a point where it was just at night, like I would breast feed her, like read her story. And that was our time together. And I had to like immediately just stop and tell her no. And she didn’t understand why. She just had to like, she had to just stop.

And that, that was hard for me. It still is. I struggle with it still now. I really do. Because that’s something that I [00:23:00] enjoy doing with my kids.

Dorothy: So there’s a difference in the way the children bonded with you?

Courtney: Definitely.

Dorothy: Is that what you’re saying?

Courtney: Yes, 100%. Like, I told this to, I can’t believe I’m saying this here.

I just told this to my brother and my sister in law. Like, I love my son. He is… my miracle baby. I honestly feel like he saved my life. But the way that we bond and the way that I immediately bonded, it’s different. It’s a huge difference. You, you wouldn’t know it unless you’ve been through it. It is a big difference.

It’s, I love them the same, but the bond is just different. And maybe it’s because he’s three months and he can’t talk yet. And I don’t, you know, we don’t have conversations.

Dorothy: You’ve got a mother’s instinct.

Courtney: I can feel the difference there.

Dorothy: And, and I think what you said is real important. that there really wasn’t anything you could do.

I mean, this, this was beyond any, what’s the word I’m looking for? It’s like You didn’t cause anything. You didn’t. It wasn’t anything you did. It’s, it’s one of those horrible [00:24:00] things that happens in life, but I don’t pick up a whole bunch of regret or bitterness or anything like that when you’re talking.

Courtney: I mean, I’m happy that I found out.

I’m happy that I’m so beyond, like I said, grateful for The Rose. I’m happy that I’m being treated. Um, it’s just. Life has changed a lot for me. Um, and so now I’m just trying to roll with it the best way I know how.

Dorothy: So fast forward to some of your treatment. Okay. Because I, I’m trying to remember what you were telling me about, uh, your port and, and I think it’s important for our listeners to know that not everything just works, even when you’re having treatment and, and that’s when you want it to work the most.

Courtney: So when I first found out that we had to when they found out that the tumor was a tumor that was cancerous, we decided on, um, chemotherapy. So I had to have a [00:25:00] port place and I actually

Dorothy: explain where the port is now. I know most people know that, but just explain.

Courtney: Um, it is a little device that they put inside of you normally in your chest.

Where the chemotherapy goes through instead of having to go through your veins and keep getting poked that way. Um, they play support. It’s done surgically. So outpatient surgery normally really quick and you use it for however long you have to have. chemotherapy. Went through another like little hiccup with the doctor, the first doctor that put my port in.

Um, he came late to surgery. I was pregnant at the time. He came late, didn’t really speak to us. It’s like, hi, I’m dr such and such and I’ll see you in there. Um, the nurses brought me back and he came in, you know, Whenever you have surgery, anyone who’s had surgery, they do like something called timeout, where they say your name, your allergies, and everything like that, but they have to get you on the table and ready first.

He came in while [00:26:00] they were putting me on the table and kept asking to do the timeout, and the nurses were like, we’re not ready. He’s like, I’m in a rush, and I can hear all this because I’m not sleeping yet. So like they did a timeout really quick, and the nurse was like really upset. As she was talking about being upset, I was falling asleep, so I didn’t hear everything she said.

Um, but during the time, again, I was pregnant going under anesthesia. My husband was waiting in the waiting room to get word that everything went fine or I was okay. The doctor never went out and talked to him. I was in recovery and my husband did not know I was in recovery. I had to ask someone where he was because he wasn’t there yet.

And that nurse found out that the doctor had never given my husband an update. So, that was one thing, and it was terrible. Two days later, we went to have my first treatment, and the nurses couldn’t get, like, the port. So, with the port, with the type of chemo that I had, they had to have something called blood return, where they check to see if the blood is coming out to make [00:27:00] sure that the port’s working.

I got no blood return. They tried about five times. At that point, I cried because I was like, It’s important for me to get this chemo and I can’t get it because the port isn’t working. So that same day I was sent to the hospital to have the port removed and have something called a Picc line put in. A Picc line is basically a really long ivy needle that goes into a big vein.

Um, and it’s kind of like a port, but it’s Not a port, it’s a PICC line, so I had to go have that placed and then I went through all four of those, um, treatments with the PICC line. Had the PICC line taken out after having the baby and we were going to do a port again because the port is much easier. So I had a port placed earlier this month in August of 2023 and I had four of my treatments done.

And through that port, I kept telling my husband like something felt weird, like my like something in the area of my chest and my heart felt heavy. [00:28:00] It just felt weird. And, um, I was at home and I had a fever of 102. 9 and my blood pressure was 191 over 103. And so I called my oncologist and he said, you need to get to the hospital.

I went to the hospital. They got my chest. pressure down. They gave me something for a headache and they sent me home. Um, but they ran some blood tests to see if I was septic or not. But they said if I was, they would call, but they didn’t think I was. The very next day I go home. I’m really, really tired. I couldn’t even like take my daughter to school.

Couldn’t really play with my son. And my fever was up again. It was 102. 6 this time. And I called the hospital and they told me just to take some Tylenol and rest. Took some Tylenol, I laid down, and 30 minutes later, I got a call from the emergency room telling me that I was septic, so I had to go to the hospital.

I was in the hospital for six days, and even during that time, the [00:29:00] way I was treated was terrible. I had two IVs placed in my arm, like when I first got to the hospital, because they said they would have to clean my blood and give me all kinds of medications, and um, I do have a medical background. I have an LPN license, so like I know a little bit about like blood draws and you know what’s going on.

I never ever say that when I go to the hospital though. I just sit and I let people do their job. I never ever like talk about my job. Um, but when the phlebotomist put the IVs in my arm, the blood stopped coming and I was like, that’s not good. But she told me, Oh, it’s okay. Once you get upstairs, they’ll be able to take your blood.

No problem. So I go upstairs, they start taking my blood. And then by the second day, Two of the, the two IVs that she placed have blown, which is, when your IV blows, that mean they can’t get blood. Right. So they tried to stick another IV in my forearm. Three people stuck me, couldn’t get it. Then they went to my other arm, my right arm, forearm, and they had to call someone [00:30:00] from like, um, ICU, and he came and he got it, but it wasn’t a good vein, and I said that before he left, I was like, I think this one’s gonna blow too, and he was like, no, I got it, it’s fine.

Later on that day, um, I was getting, um, medication in my arm. I was getting the antibiotic and my arm felt really, really cold and it got swollen. And I called the nurse and I was like, something is wrong. And she’s like, okay, well let me go check and see. And I took my IV out myself and I told her, nobody else can stick me.

I need to talk to like the charge nurse because this is ridiculous. So they ended up putting what’s called a PICC line. No, a midline in my arm. And they did the midline. It’s kind of like a big line, but shorter. They gave me medication through that. The very next day they did this because at this point I still had the port and I was still septic.

The next day. I had surgery to have the port taken out and I had another [00:31:00] PICC line put in so that I can have that done for chemo. When the radiologist who was going to put the PICC line came, he got quiet when he was taking the midline out and he was like, that’s strange. And my mom was like, what? what’s going on, because my mom at this point was like, mama bear.

Someone at the hospital put the midline in an artery instead of a vein. So, yes, I have been through a lot when it comes to hospitals and treatment and everything. So that was a whole other thing. And the hospital that I was at, they apologized. But it just it was unacceptable, because again, I’m going to say it.

I feel like if it was a white woman there. Complaining and explaining what she was feeling, they would hear it. I don’t feel like I was hurt and I really 1000 percent felt like it was because of my race. I don’t feel like it was anything else because I’m very polite. Um, not being rude. Um, I mean, if you’re a nurse, you can see.

I mean, I saw it and I haven’t practiced in years. It’s been like five years since I’ve practiced and I saw [00:32:00] it on my body. You can see when someone’s arm is swollen. My mom saw it. My mom has no medical history. I was just being ignored once again. And so I went through that and I guess I didn’t even think to talk about it because I tried to see the positives all the time and things.

My husband says that I see rainbows and butterflies and everything and I try to be that way. But when it comes to my health and what’s been going on with me, it’s been a lot. It’s been a road. It’s been hard. And sometimes at night when everybody else is sleeping and I’m up thinking, I pray and thank God.

But I also cry a lot because. I never saw this for me. This is not the life that I saw for myself. This is not the life that I planned for myself. I, I didn’t plan to be treated the way I’ve been treated in those situations.

Dorothy: But Courtney, you’re such a good advocate for this. I mean, and, and I’m just not placating or anything.

You know, most people don’t talk about it. And you’re willing to talk and you’re willing to say, I wasn’t heard. And, [00:33:00] you know, everyone needs to understand when you’re When you’re in that position, you’re already vulnerable. You’re already not feeling like you can speak up. But when you knew that something was going on with your body, I mean, I think the bravest thing you did was say, Nobody else is going to stick me.

Courtney: Yeah.

Dorothy: Yeah. So, yeah, I really hope our listeners hear this. And it’s, it’s not just what, what you’re talking about, but it’s all of this stuff. It’s, it’s everything that went together to give you a very different kind of experience. And one that could really make you question if people are really able to do what they’re telling you they’re doing.

And of course, that’s the worst thing we don’t want. We always say around The Rose that, you know, the most important part about your recovery, besides all of your faith and your Everything that you have to put into it to recover, including not doing the things that you always could do before, but is also having that confidence in who’s treating you.

That is [00:34:00] so important. And, and you know, we’re a big believer, if that doesn’t work, you go find somebody else. That’s, it is your right. It’s your body. Nobody’s going to stand up and say, take me. When it comes time, so it is your body. I think that’s the of all the messages I hear from you. I think that’s the one I hope our listeners take to heart because it’s an important one.

Courtney: And something you said just now that I really want to like piggyback off is you said that I spoke up and I was willing to share.

I want you to know that I am not that kind of person at all. Like I’m normally like, oh, it’s okay. I won’t say anything. I keep I don’t speak up normally going through this. This journey has taught me to like really stand up for myself and speak up for myself. And even coming here today doing the podcast, I was like, Oh God, do I want to do that?

Like, I’m scared to do it because I don’t want to, I want to highlight what’s going on. And I even, um, my husband has been like just recording some things and I’ve been going back and forth about like, once it’s all said and done, I want to share my [00:35:00] story, but also in the world that we live in of social media and like people just wanting attention.

I never want to seem like I just want attention. But I want the attention to be known for what’s going on because I feel like at 30, I’m 37 now, but you don’t have to quote unquote get checked for a mammogram until you’re like 40. I know. And I’m 37 and I’ve been having this tumor since at least 36 or 35.

Who knows how long it’s been? And that to me, I feel like it’s something that I wish could change. I wish that You didn’t have to have like a family member that has cancer or that has breast cancer to get tested early. Like, I wish that it, like, like when, when you get gynecology, like when you go to the gynecologist, I wish that they’re like, okay, well, when you turn 21, 22, you should start getting mammograms or start getting screening.

Just something, because I think about my daughter. I think about my son, like men get breast cancer too, and no one in my family has [00:36:00] breast cancer. to answer the question that that doctor asked me very condescendingly. But my grandfather had prostate cancer. When I found out about my breast cancer, I found out that prostate, breast, ovarian, and I forgot the other one are all related.

So although no ma’am, no one has breast cancer, my grandfather, my maternal grandfather died. from prostate cancer immediately. Like you should have just asked me about cancer, period, not breast cancer. And then maybe you would have run the test and then maybe we would have found this early. And then maybe I wouldn’t have been so stressed out while pregnant going through chemotherapy, you know?

Dorothy: And all of those things are so true, but mainly. that you know now that you do have to be your own advocate. Yes. And, uh, that is the biggest message you could send to anyone. And, you know, the whole thing about telling your story, and I know it takes a lot. I, I know that. There was a time we couldn’t tell our stories.

There was a time when, when women had no idea what was gonna go on. And so many times if you [00:37:00] just know one other person’s been there. You know, I mean, how many people have I heard that had port problems, but you wouldn’t know that can be a very definite problem, unless someone says, well, let me tell you this part of my story.

And it’s not, you’re not looking for sympathy. You’re just wanting folks to know this could happen.

Courtney: That’s exactly right.

Dorothy: Well, I tell you what, I think you’re one of the bravest people I know, and You know, I’m so glad Antonio?

Courtney: Yes.

Dorothy: He is in good health. He is no problems?

Courtney: Right.

Dorothy: From the chemo. And you may be ending your, your chemotherapy treatment.

Courtney: Yes, I actually ordered. I did this very prematurely. Um, I ordered a shirt from Amazon and it says, um, Hip hip hooray. My last day of chemo today. Ring the bell and run like hell. So I think I’m going to wear that on Thursday, hopefully and be able to ring that bell. And that is such a, I don’t mean to cut you off, but I want to say that ringing that [00:38:00] bell is going to be such a like moment for me because when my dad finish his chemotherapy.

I was with him when he rang the bell. He was so excited and it was such a good thing to do. And I get to ring the bell and beat this. My dad rang the bell and he didn’t beat it, but I’m gonna beat it and I’m gonna ring that bell and run like hell and go through my Surgery and heal from that and then go through the radiation and heal from that and pray to God that it doesn’t return and just, I really, really, after going through this, I’ve decided that I want to find some way somehow to be an advocate for women, especially young African American women, because we don’t think that it’ll happen to us.

We really do not like more than you could ever know. It’s something that is like in the back of your mind. You don’t think it. You You couldn’t have given me a million dollars in front of my face last year this time and say, Hey, next year you’re going to be going through chemotherapy. Take this [00:39:00] million dollars because I’m telling you.

I’d be like, keep that because no, I won’t. And look at me going through it. I had a wedding last year. My husband and I finally got to like have our big wedding. We got married in 2019 and our wedding was supposed to be 2020. But then, you know, 2020 happened. And last year we had a blast. We had our wedding.

We went to Jamaica. We were in Jamaica this time last year. Like, you couldn’t have told me I would be going through chemotherapy and fighting breast cancer, but I’m a fighter and I’m gonna keep fighting and I’m gonna win. And like I said, I just want to be as much of an advocate for other women as I can be.

Not just African American women, but mainly. African American women who don’t know how to step up and say, Hey, I felt this and I need help and I need someone to listen to me like really, really like listen to me. Don’t tell me what you think you went to school for a reason. You’re a doctor. So run the test.

You have the insurance, run the insurance to get paid, run the test. The worst that could happen [00:40:00] is that I’m wrong and you’re right. That’s the best, right? I said the worst, but that’s the best thing. That’s the best outcome. The worst outcome could be that yeah. I did find something and now I need the help.

Dorothy: Right.

Courtney: And that’s just, that’s why I am with it. And I pray to God that I can find the strength and the courage to be that person and find ways to talk to people and, and, and share my story without getting too emotional or too scared or too crabby.

Dorothy: It doesn’t matter if you’re emotional, but I will tell you, we so appreciate you sharing this with us today.

We are certainly joining you in your prayers and wishing that we hear from you on Thursday that, hey, I did ring that bell.

Courtney: Yes, ma’am.

Dorothy: Thank you so much for being with us.

Courtney: Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it.

Dorothy: So that wraps it up for today. And don’t forget, we’re doing an episode every single day.

You’re going to get your daily dose of Let’s Talk About Your Breasts during the month of October.

Post-Credits: October is the month of pink. And for the Rose, a [00:41:00] breast center of excellence. That means we’ll be airing podcasts every day in October. To celebrate breast Cancer Awareness month, we’ll be sharing everything from bikers writing for breast cancer to ola tattoos.

Be sure to share with family and friends because there’s a little something for everyone. To find out ways to help the Rose visit our website at therose.org. Remember, self-care is not selfish. It’s essential.