Almost Too Young to Have a Mammogram, but NOT too Young to Have Breast Cancer

Dorothy: [00:00:00] She worked a hundred feet from a mammography machine, and she was already two years late from having her first mammogram, which she knew she needed. Why would anyone who worked in a mammography center put off their mammogram? This woman had a dozen good reasons, all reasons that every woman has made, including COVID.

But today you’ll hear about what can happen when life gets in the way. And why you making you first really matters.

Let’s Talk About Your Breast. A different kind of podcast presented to you by The Rose. The Breast Center of Excellence and a Texas treasure. You’re going to hear frank discussions about tough topics. And you’re going to learn why knowing about your breast could save your life. Join us as we hear another story and we answer those tough questions that you may have.

Hi, this is Dorothy Gibbons and I’m [00:01:00] the CEO and co founder of The Rose and we’re here today to talk about your breast. And with us in the studio, we have Jessica Duckworth. Who is our chief operating officer? She’s a mammographer. She’s run several companies. She’s a woman extraordinaire. And she’s going to tell us a little bit about her journey and what it’s like to be on the other side of the desk.

So welcome jessica.

Jessica: Thank you. Thank you for having me.

Dorothy: Sure. So you’ve been with The Rose since 2014.

Jessica: That’s right.

Dorothy: And, and you’ve done mammography since you were—

Jessica: Long time.

Dorothy: Long time. Ok, what were we—

Jessica: 20, 22 years.

Dorothy: Okay.

Jessica: I’ve been doing mammography.

Dorothy: First job, or main job out of, okay, and you went right into it and stayed in it.

Jessica: I did. Yeah.

Dorothy: And you’ve always kind of gone to the top in your positions just because you’re that kind of woman [00:02:00] and you’ve always been the boss.

Jessica: That’s right.

Dorothy: And, uh. What do you love about mammography?

Jessica: You know, when I was going to school, you know, you go to x ray school first, and then while you’re going through school, you get to go through all the different modalities. You know, so you get to try MRI, you get to try ultrasound, and as soon as I walked in with my first patient to try mammography, I knew that that was was what I wanted to do. You know, to be able to provide preventative medicine versus trying to treat the patient once they’ve already been found, you know, with something. That was where my passion lied, to be able to hear the stories of these women and to make them feel comfortable and to have that procedure.

I just knew that that’s where my calling was. Um, and so, you know, I completed my school and then I went into the Mammography and extended my education and then that’s where that’s where my career took me.

Dorothy: So, you know, that’s one of the [00:03:00] themes that I’ve heard a lot is making that woman feel comfortable; making sure that we’re attending to all the needs that she might have or fears or— So you’ve done that many thousands of times.

Jessica: Many thousands of times, yes.

Dorothy: And, of course, as COO here, you handle everybody. The operations are under you, you take care of everything. It’s a, you know, it’s a multi million dollar operation, and it seems like we’ve been more fast paced here than ever in the last few years. But let’s go back to 2020.

Jessica: Okay.

Dorothy: So it is March 2020 and we are just really understanding the significance of COVID.

And we’ve come to the very difficult conclusion that we’re going to have to shut down facilities and a very hard decision for us because we had so many biopsies waiting. And we tried to get as many [00:04:00] done as we could. And, you know, we’ll never forget that time. And sending people home and wondering if we’re going to be closed a week, or six weeks, which it was about six weeks, or the rest of the period.

It was, there were so many unknowns then. And we stayed in touch, but we did not have day to day operations going on. And there you were. You had spent the last two years Really changing your health, really eating right. You, you, I mean, you became almost fanatical. You, you were so interested in that and you changed your diet and you were really active.

Probably, except maybe when you were 18, 19, the thinnest you’ve ever been. And everything looked great.

Jessica: Right.

Dorothy: And that’s when you discovered the lump in your breast?

Jessica: It was just before then, actually, you know, 2019. I don’t know what clicked in [00:05:00] me in 2019. Um, but that’s when health became very, very important to me.

I was, you know, I have a stressful life, a stressful job. I have, you know, a husband and a daughter who’s very, very active. Um, and so, you know, I had let myself go. Um, and so something clicked in me from, from a nutrition and what I was putting in my body and what I was exercising. Um, my son got engaged and he was getting married in February and so I wanted to be at the best that I could be for him.

And it was actually just before his wedding in February, um, that I found my breast lump. But I was very, very busy. I was trying to, you know, make him have the perfect wedding. Um, and so I didn’t pay, you know, that close attention to it. You know, I was like, oh, it’s probably a cyst. You know, you know, I’ll [00:06:00] get to it when I get to it.

And, you know, so he got married at the end of February. Um, and then we had a trip with my daughter to go to Disney. Um, and so we went to Disney for spring break. And then when I came back, the week that I came back from spring break was when— You know everything with covid, you know where we had to make those decisions where we had to get all of those women in. You know, we wanted to make sure that we didn’t leave anyone who is waiting for, you know biopsies or for diagnosis and so we we scrambled and we got everybody in that week and had to make that decision, you know for for closing. And then that six week period was a blur. You know, we were trying to locate PPE so that we could open the door.

We were moving our Galleria location. We had to be out of That location and into our new location. So I was moving [00:07:00] equipment and and hunting down PPE. And the last thing that was on my mind was that lump that I had found, you know, a couple of months ago. So it wasn’t until we re we reopened on May 4th.

And we got all of the employees back and we’ve got all of the patients in that had been waiting for diagnostics and all of that took first priority. So it wasn’t until we gotten everything back together. You know, we got all of our PPE and we got all of our staff and we got all of our patients seen that I really stopped and said, okay, now it’s my turn.

Dorothy: So PPE is personal protective equipment. And it encompasses—

Jessica: masks, gloves, gowns, um, you know, everything that the CDC, um, and was saying that as a medical facility, we needed to have to be able to provide services to patients.

Dorothy: Jessica.

Jessica: Yes.

Dorothy: You’ve seen thousands of breasts.

[00:08:00] You know what breast cancer is. Was that part denial?

Jessica: I mean, I really—

Dorothy: Not paying attention? Part what—

Jessica: I really didn’t think that that’s what it was and whether that’s denial or whether that is just you know It can’t happen to me that you know, I felt it. It was it was smooth It was you know round when you look back on it. It had all of the characteristics, but I didn’t have time for breast cancer. I had a wedding that I was planning. I had a seven year old. I had, you, you know, the, The Rose, you know, I didn’t have time for it. So it really didn’t, it really didn’t crossed my mind until I was laying on the bed. They did my mammogram and I was laying on the the stretcher and having the ultrasound done It was during the time of COVID.

So the girls all had their masks on So I was looking at their face and and trying not to look at the screen, but you could tell You know, you could tell from their eyes. Um, you [00:09:00] could tell when the doctor walked in they don’t want you to be worried. It could be nothing. You But we want to go ahead and do a biopsy.

So it wasn’t until then and I think Uh, even I walked by your office after I had the after I had the biopsy and I hadn’t told anyone, you know, what was going on? I didn’t tell anybody that I had found it. But I think I walked by your office and you could tell that there was something something wrong with me and I’m a private person. You know, I don’t talk about those kind of things, you know with what’s going on with me but At that moment, I knew.

And so I hadn’t told my husband that I was having the biopsy. I think that was the first question you asked me is, did Mike know? Um, and so I hadn’t told him, I hadn’t told the family. I just, I just did it. And then, you know, it was the next day that Tuesday, I won’t forget it. Dr. Cotes got the results and, you know, she called me in and she told me, and I think the [00:10:00] first place I came was your office.

Dorothy: Even though, with all of your knowledge, you reacted very much just like any woman would. We, we don’t want it to be breast cancer. And you had that extra knowledge that it’s something, could be, it could be something else. And that was a, that was good enough for a while. But you also, you were over 40, you were just 40.

Jessica: No, I was 41, turned in 42.

Dorothy: And I know that was going through your head too about why you hadn’t had your mammogram starting in 40.

Jessica: I had no excuse. I’m here every day, you know, it’s right down the hallway. So yeah, I turned 40 in 2018. And so here we are in 2020 and I haven’t had my screening mammogram yet.

Dorothy: So when did you realize that something in you had changed as you think about breast cancer from your job perspective. I mean, you’re, you’re [00:11:00] making decisions every day and, and before they were decisions. Has something personal come in now as you’re thinking about this?

Jessica: You know, as I went through my journey, you know, I thought I was prepared.

I, I knew I knew what breast cancer was. I knew what I was up against. Um, but once you’re on the other side of the desk— None of that mattered. Um, you know, being diagnosed during COVID and having to go to the doctor’s appointments and having to go through all that by myself, you know, my family wasn’t able to go to the doctor’s appointments with me.

I’m like, you know, it’s okay. I got it. I know what questions to ask. Um, and, and I didn’t. I mean, I froze. Uh, I sat there talking to the surgeon and, you know, I didn’t, I wasn’t. I was a patient at that point. So all of that education and all of my years experience— When you’re the patient, it didn’t matter.

Dorothy: [00:12:00] It didn’t matter.

Yeah, all the questions you knew to ask but you didn’t ask and—

Jessica: So my husband was waiting in the parking lot. He had tried to get in and they wouldn’t let him in. And so he waited in the car and I got in the car and he was like, well, what did what did the doctor say? And I’m I, I, I don’t remember. Um, and he said, well, did you ask this and did you ask this?

No, no, I didn’t ask those questions. I thought I was prepared, and if I thought I was prepared, knowing what I know, you know, imagine what, a person who doesn’t know what I know, sitting there across from the doctor. Um, but I, I, I was in the same— I was in the same boat as she is.

Dorothy: Even though you understand all the terms, you knew what treatment was, but that was a, a little bit of a surprise it that you were going to need to go through such treatment and talk about that just a little bit because I know we we forget that when it— when it isn’t caught early, then the options for treatment do change.

Jessica: When I received [00:13:00] my diagnosis, unfortunately, the cancer had spread into the lymph node. So here I am, fixed in to be 42, not knowing how long that mass had been there. It could have been that I had felt it because of the weight loss, and you know, because I had gotten healthy. But it could have been there for years before that, you know, and had I had it at 40, when I was supposed to, you know, they could have caught it early before it had advanced.

And so, because that wasn’t the case, and, and it had advanced, then I had to go through a much more invasive treatment than I would have been through, um, if I had done it earlier.

Dorothy: And you had a pretty tough cancer. I mean, it wasn’t It wasn’t your garden variety.

Jessica: It wasn’t, yeah. It wasn’t your garden variety.

You know, unfortunately, and so I went through chemotherapy. Um, you know, the six rounds of chemotherapy, and I had my surgery, and at the time we found out that the chemotherapy hadn’t gotten [00:14:00] everything, and so I had to go through another 14 rounds of chemotherapy. So, you know, 20, 20 rounds of therapy when you’re diagnosed with breast cancer, you know, you’re talking about life and, you know, the sooner you find it, the better the statistics are, you know, for you to be able to survive it.

But what a lot of people don’t talk about is what the treatment is going to do to you and the quality of life that you’re going to have after that treatment. So finding it in a more advanced state with a more advanced treatment means that, I mean, your body is going to take, I mean, my body was rocked.

I’m still in the process of, of recovering from that. They don’t talk about the neuropathy or the irregular—

Dorothy: Now, explain that to us.

Jessica: So the neuropathy is the, the numbness and the tingling that you experience in your hands and your feet. The longer that you’re in treatment, um, the harder it is on your heart.

And so my heart took a [00:15:00] pretty good hit and I ended up having to be put on medications. Um had to stop my treatment for some time, um, to give my heart a rest and allow it to recover before they could restart it again— restart the treatment again, I had some vascular issues because of the heart with my feet and and my legs that I’m still recovering from with that, um. And those are all from the treatment the extensive long term treatment that I had to go through.

Whereas if I would have found it earlier, you know, it could have possibly been a simple surgery. But I mean, that’s not to say that that is always the option. You know, I mean, there are very aggressive cancers that come on very quickly. But the sooner that you can find it and the sooner that you can get it taken care of, the better chances of life and the better chance of your quality of life after treatment.

Dorothy: So knowing how private you are, I really appreciate you sharing [00:16:00] this, this time that you’ve gone through. And I, and I know knowing you, you really haven’t spent a lot of time like self-recriminating or saying, Oh, you should have and all that. It doesn’t do any good, but it certainly opened your eyes to what can happen.

How long were you in treatment?

Jessica: Um, Total treatment was, uh, 20 months.

Dorothy: Wow.

Jessica: Not including the surgeries, um, that I had. So I had three, four surgeries and then 20 months worth of treatment.

Dorothy: That’s a long time.

Jessica: That’s a long time.

Dorothy: Very long time.

Jessica: Mm hmm.

Dorothy: So, what, what, uh, what was behind your decision to do the cold cap?

And tell us a little bit about what the cold cap is and why it’s important or not important.

Jessica: Right. So when I found out the, the treatment that I was going to have to have, you know, was I was going to lose my hair, I was going to lose my eyebrows, I was going to, um, lose all of that. My concern in [00:17:00] my concern when I was diagnosed and my concern when I found that out immediately went to my children.

I have a daughter at the time. She was seven. She’s 10 now and then I had my son who was 24 who’s 26 now and You know, I’m I’m I’m mom, and I didn’t want them to see me any less than that. Um, I didn’t want people to see me any less than that. I didn’t want people to look at me and, and know what I was going through, or to think of me as sick. Um, treat me any differently. And so what options were available to me and my doctor had talked to me as if I had considered cold capping. Hadn’t heard of it, didn’t know what it was. And so it is a process of while you’re getting your chemotherapy, there is a gel cap that they put on to your, to your scalp, um, that freezes your, [00:18:00] your, um, scalp and your hair follicles while you’re taking the chemotherapy, um, so that your hair follicles don’t uptake the medication and, and die off, which is what causes your hair to fall out.

So I was very, anything techie, I was very interested in it. So I, I did some research. I had a very short period of time that I had to make my decision. Um, it wasn’t something at the time that was covered by insurance um, but that didn’t matter to me because if it meant that I was going to be able to even keep a portion of my hair not from a vain standpoint. But for the fact that my children and my you know, my community wouldn’t see me as someone that was sick. Um, you know, I wanted to give it a try.

It was very difficult the very first, um, um Therapy that I had um was difficult and I didn’t know if I could continue after that, um to sit there for seven [00:19:00] hours with an eight— When your scalp being eight degrees and you’re shivering and I made the mistake of wearing contacts the first time So I thought that my eyes were gonna pop out of my head. Um, but you know, I made it through and I had a great team that helped me with it Um, and so, you know, I I still lost some of my hair, but I never lost More than about 20 percent of my hair so that was— I couldn’t color my hair.

So vanity didn’t really play anything into it. Because you could see all my gray hairs, but I was able to keep my hair and and that was important to me again, you know, mainly for my children. My daughter who I wanted to be that strong mother and show her that you can do anything And that was very important to me and I didn’t want to be be perceived as the sick person.

You know, I worked through my chemotherapy treatments. I needed to be me. You need that normalcy of something to keep your mind on outside of [00:20:00] what’s going on inside your body.

Dorothy: And the cold cap doesn’t work for everyone. There was that fear or that knowing that it might not work even with all of that, but it did for you.

And Jessica, you must know yourself pretty well if you were that determined. Not to look different.

Jessica: There’s still people that don’t know.

Dorothy: Right, right. True.

Jessica: You know, what I’ve been through. And, and, I mean, it was tough. I’m not going to deny that. There were some periods where I was like, you know, I can’t do this anymore.

I can’t continue to do this. What are my options? If I stop treatment, I mean, your mind always goes there when you’re doing that stuff. But, you know, I have a great family. And quitting’s not really in our nature. Or, you know. I didn’t have a choice. I mean, I, I needed to live.

Dorothy: Did you ever get angry?

Jessica: Oh, of course.

The what ifs are, I still, why, why? Why did I wait so long? [00:21:00] Why didn’t I put my health as a priority? If I’m not at my best and I’m not healthy, then, you know, all the people that I’m putting in front of me, my family, my job, um, all of that stuff, I mean, it means nothing if I’m not. If I’m not here, but I don’t think of it that way before.

Dorothy: So the people that didn’t know that you were going through all this— Did they treat you differently?

Jessica: Not at all. My work family is amazing and my family at home, you know, my husband I could not have made it through without him and his strength. I mean not only did he become the caregiver for for our children, but he became the caregiver for me. And not everyone has that Luxury, I guess, to have someone, um, there beside them.

He drove me to every treatment and he waited in the parking lot and then he drove me home, um, and took care of everything at home. But anger to see, you know, what it did to, [00:22:00] to, to my family. My doctor told me they, they did studies and each month of treatment ages you.

Dorothy: Impacts you, right?

Jessica: Yeah, yeah. Ages you by 10 years. And I feel it. But I can also see it in, in my daughter, um, and in my son, um, and in my, my husband that the fear of, you know, is she going to make it the fear of even, you know, seeing me ill whenever we did it, you know, whenever I had my treatments. Wise beyond their years, um, you know, especially for my daughter.

So, you know, there’s anger that I— I put them through that because I didn’t take care of myself. I know, but it’s the way that I, it’s the way we think, it’s the way we think, you know, if I would have done it sooner and could have caught it earlier and wouldn’t have had to go through that, I wouldn’t have put them through that. That’s where my anger is at.

Dorothy: Anger at the cancer at all? I mean, anger that it’s even entered your life in a whole different way?

Jessica: I’m sure if I stopped [00:23:00] and reflected on it, you know, I mean, there’s always the why me? I had no family history. You know, luckily I did genetic testing and nothing came back. So, you know, worrying about my daughter and, and, and her children, um, knowing that it’s not hereditary.

So, yeah, I mean, the question of why. Why me? Of course.

Dorothy: How did you tell Brooklyn, your daughter, at seven years old? How, what, what did you say to her?

Jessica: You know, we debated. On whether or not to tell her. There were so many unknowns that we did wait a little while to tell her because I wanted to be able to tell her what to expect.

You know, when I told my son that was probably the hardest was to tell my son, um, and to see his reaction and to see him trying to hold back. Um, And worrying about me, um, without, you know, being able to answer any of his questions because I [00:24:00] told him, you know, the day, you know, that I came home because he was going to know that something was going on.

And so, I talked to different people and, you know, we, we just ended up, once we knew what was going on and knew that I was going to go through treatment, we sat her down and, and we let her know she knew what mom did. She knew what the mission of The Rose is and that mom is helping women who are diagnosed with breast cancer or, you know, screening women to find breast cancer.

So she knew what breast cancer was. So letting her know that mom has breast cancer and you know, but it’s going to be okay. And we’re going to go through treatment and, you know, we’re going to do this as a family. And so she struggled. Was mom going to be here? You know, is mom going to die?

She told people at school and, but my husband was able to, to pull us both through.

Dorothy: Well, Brooklyn’s a little hyper and I can see her having a thousand questions that would be difficult to answer. She’s one of a kind. [00:25:00] They’re big, big age difference between your son and your daughter. And you and your son had gone through a lot of things by yourself.

Jessica: Yeah.

Dorothy: So he wrote a story for us and had never seen that so I didn’t know him that well. But, boy, when you hear it from a young man’s point of view it it is very different and I think he must have been as scared as anyone are more afraid and I think that’s an important thing for us is, as women, to realize that just because they’re an adult you’re still their mom. Yeah, it’s never that part of it’s never going to change no matter how much they understand.

Jessica: He knew more than than Brooklyn knew. I mean again, it’s been my career I mean, he’s known we haven’t had anyone in our family who’ve had breast cancer. So none of them had experienced it firsthand, but he’s my best friend, Um, and so it was the most difficult with him for sure and to watch him worried for me. And when he, he had just gotten married, you know. I mean he’s [00:26:00] in his first year of marriage, he’s a newlywed, um, and you know, here he is having to worry about mom.

Dorothy: As we all know, this, this was part of his, his journey too. It always is. Cancer is a family.

Jessica: Absolutely.

Dorothy: It’s not, it doesn’t just hit one of us, it hits everyone. So what inside you changed, if anything, after, I mean, two years of treatment is a long time. And it was a tough treatment. And having, now that you know all of the things that happen, what’s different in you?

Jessica: I can definitely say I’m, I’m stronger than I thought that I was. Um, you know, I’ve always been quite hard headed. Um, and I’ve always considered myself strong. I’m going to figure it out. Even if I struggle, I’m going to figure it out and I’m going to make it. Um, and I, I don’t have that doubt so much in myself about the struggle part.[00:27:00]

I’m going to figure it out. We’re going to figure it out. It’s going to happen. The passion of still being in this field and still doing what I, I do, you know, prior to all of this, you know, I’ve always been able to talk to patients and I’ve always been able to, get them up to diagnosis, but I’ve never been able to you know, lead them after that and the sense of pride.

I don’t want to say pleasure, but the ability to be able to now discuss that with the patients who have been diagnosed and reassure them and hopefully give them hope that it’s going to be a struggle but at the end of the day, it’s just going to be a blip. It was two years. It was a long two years, but when I look back at it, it’s just a blip it happened, and you know the blink of an eye. And here I am and and I’m strong and I’m I feel great Um, and you know [00:28:00] I’ve got Other mountains to conquer now. But to be able to give someone that hope and, you know, hopefully hearing my story and reminding women to get their mammogram to get it when you’re 40. Don’t wait till you’re 42. Um, don’t, you know, put others in front of— nothing as important as your health and if you’re worried about your child’s wedding and you’re worried about those kind of things, knowing that you’re healthy and you’re going to be there for them and making that a priority.

Um, and then also for those who are diagnosed to, to be able to have the hope and to know that, you know, you’re going to come out on the other side and you are going to be stronger. That’s what I hope that the message that I can deliver to people.

Dorothy: Cancer did not define you.

Jessica: Still doesn’t.

Dorothy: Still doesn’t. I think that’s a hard thing for folks to understand.

It’s a, such a monumental thing to have to go through, but you still have a [00:29:00] life, and you still have a family, and you still have a job, and all the other things that were important to you beforehand continue to be important to you. So, to you, this is going to be a tough one. Do you actually follow what you’re preaching now?

Jessica: No. I mean, at times, at times I do, you know, do I push harder than I should? Yes. Um, do I take time for myself? Like I should? No. Um, you know, do I rest the way that I should? No. Um. But that’s also just part of me and who I am and where, how my drive works. Um, you know, I’m not, I’m not one to just sit back and relax.

I need to be going and I need to be doing and I need to be, you know making a difference and that’s just me and and my personality. But health and being healthy and staying healthy are top priority for me making sure that I’m eating right making [00:30:00] sure that I’m sleeping right. I I do I do practice that.

Dorothy: So jessica, you touched on this earlier and I think listening to you several times just as we’ve been talking I’ve been able to understand, and I have not been through this journey.

So I do know what you’re saying about when you’re not, when you haven’t, and you’re facing women who have, it’s, there’s always a disconnect. There’s always that, well, you really don’t know what I’m going through. No matter how much empathy you have, it’s, you don’t know. And I thought one of the most important things that I heard you say was how the treatment impacts your body for time to come.

Um, you know, so many, Women who’ve been through treatment tend to put on a little weight, especially during the chemo. And here, after you’d spent all that time and effort to, to get, get it where you want it. But explain to us why, what was going on? See, that’s, it’s a, physical thing. It’s not because you’re psychologically needing food or anything.

[00:31:00] Explain that little part to us.

Jessica: That is one of the things that I’m still struggling with today because I was pre-menopausal and having to go through treatment and then my continued hormone treatment that I have to do for five years has taken me into menopause. So it’s accelerated that for me and then the medication that they have you on, weight gain is is one of those side effects. So it doesn’t really matter what I eat how I exercise. You know, and I struggle with that psychologically I feel in the Issues that I’ve had post cancer have affected me psychologically more than the cancer. I knew the cancer wasn’t going to get me I believed in the doctors. I believed in the plan, you know, I followed it to the T, But I was not expecting all of the other things, you know, people don’t talk about that I wasn’t expecting those things and you know, here I am two years [00:32:00] later and still experiencing heart issues and the neuropathy and and the weight gain Um and all of those things and you know, I’m not a very patient person.

And like I said, I’m a little hard headed Um, and so I feel like myself, but I don’t feel like myself.

Dorothy: Because you’ve always been able to fix something.

Jessica: Exactly.

Dorothy: And this you can’t fix. And the weight gain does have to do with the metabolic issue. It changes your, yeah, it changes that in, in women. And they don’t really realize that.

So there is this thing of, “Oh my gosh, you know, I’ve had cancer and now I’m fat.” And I’m using that very, uh, quotey here. It’s, you know, cause we never want folks to lose that understanding. It is just part of the process. It’s, it’s really nothing you can do.

Jessica: And I’ve got to, I’ve got to learn to give myself the leeway and to really understand what my body has gone through, um, [00:33:00] over the last two years.

I’m not going to bounce back, you know, as quickly as I want to bounce back.

Dorothy: And you’re dealing with menopause in so many ways that you wouldn’t have had to for many years yet. And it is its own difficult—

Jessica: Yes.

Dorothy: It’s not really a journey, you could be on it forever. I know it feels like that for you. And that’s, that’s unsettling too.

But, like you said, we somehow get through it. So tell me, what else would you like to say to young women, especially your age?

Jessica: There’s no excuse to wait. There really isn’t. One saying that you always, you know, used to say, or you still say, but something that you’ve always said since I’ve known you, and never really got the gravity of what it is, is you always say, Don’t fear finding cancer. Be— fear finding it too late. And so that is absolutely right. Excuses that you hear [00:34:00] for not going to have your mammogram are like me. You’re you’re too busy You’ve got other things going on. You’ll get to it when you get to it and for those I say. You’ve got to take care of yourself in order to take care of the things that you need to get to. And then the others are either they don’t want to know or they’re worried about what’s going to happen when if they find out and again, it’s If it’s there, the whole goal is to find it early, um, and to minimize that, that treatment that you’re going to have to go through and improve that quality of life.

You know, we’re at a 90, 99 percent survival rate, um, you know, for, for breast cancer, which, which is great, but it’s that treatment in that the longer that you wait to find it, the harder that that journey is going to be versus if you find it early.

Dorothy: What would you say to men who are dealing with their wives who suddenly are not the same anymore. Perhaps being a little crabby and also being [00:35:00] sick.

Jessica: Yes, you know They’re scared, you know, I I know the fear is there and and the scared and they’re scared um, and I would say, you know just to, you know to to be there for them. Um, you know again at the end of the day, it’s it’s going to be a blip. Um, you know, for, for both of you, but to be strong, be strong for her, be strong for the children and know that it’s going to be temporary, hopefully.

Dorothy: Jessica, you were really very frank with Brooklyn, especially. I mean, you didn’t, she was aware of what was going on in your body. You let her see things that were going on. I mean, there’s some women that wouldn’t have done that.

Jessica: Yeah. I mean, she was there, you know, with me when the days that I couldn’t get out of bed, you know, she came and she laid with me and, and we talked.

I wanted her to know what was going on so that I could reassure her, um, you know, that everything was going to be okay.

Dorothy: So what’s your dreams for her?

Jessica: You know, my, I, my dream for [00:36:00] her would be we had a cure, you know, by the time that she’s of the age, you know, and that access to care for, for every woman is there and that the treatments have changed for anyone that is diagnosed as it relates to breast cancer for her.

Dorothy: And I know you have many other dreams. She’s going to be an actress, a singer, a dancer, yes.

Jessica: Yes, yes, she’s very, she’s very much, you know, I want her to be, to do whatever makes her, her happy. Um, whether that is, you know, to continue in theater like she does, and her acting and her singing, or whether that is to drive a truck.

Whatever makes her happy and brings her joy. In her life, like I have in, in my life, and that gives her a purpose and a passion that she can be proud of, then that, that’s what I want for her, which is what I have.

Dorothy: Yes, yes, well that’s a great dream. [00:37:00] So anything else that you’d like to share with us?

Jessica: Oh, I appreciate you having me and letting me share my story.

Dorothy: Oh, of course, of course. Thank you for being so candid and letting us know all the ins and outs of treatment, and especially the difficulties when it is found late. That’s a whole different animal, and certainly one that you can get through, but it takes a different kind of determination and probably a whole lot of faith.

You never talk about that, but I know. There has to be something you depended on beyond yourself.

Jessica: Absolutely.

Dorothy: All right. Well, we are closing this up again. And as Jessica has said— if you don’t take care of yourself, you’re not going to be able to take care of anyone else. But you know, just take care of yourself. Why not? And that’s our one message throughout this whole podcast series. Take care of yourself. You’re worth it.

Post-Credits: Thank you for joining us today on Let’s Talk About Your Breasts. This podcast is [00:38:00] produced by Freddie Cruz Creative Works, and brought to you by The Rose. Visit therose.org to learn more about our organization, subscribe to our podcast, share episodes with friends, and join the conversation on social media using #Let’sTalkAboutYourBreasts.

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